That's so gay!

ren wrote: Want to ban usage of that word to protect sensitivities? All it's going to do is piss people off

It's not about a ban though is it, it's about pointing out to your fellow man that out of common courtesy you shouldn't say that.

It's the singling out of the demographic that is out of order, we don't say "that's so irish" if someone's drunk because it's a negative stereotype, or "that's so german" if someone gets an asswhipping in a fight (see what I did there)

So why say "that's so gay" ?? I mean really what is gay about it ?? how does it even make sense outside of "you are a guy that is attracted to other guys and not women.... that's so gay"

and on the flipside, we don't use "hetero" as a symbol of something that's good... "whoa you totally swished that 3 pointer dude... that's so hetero", you also don't see the Gay community using that as a descriptive either.

in my opinion it is as bad as dropping "The N Bomb", it's not socially acceptable in this day and age.

*I know I had a joke about it earlier but I really do agree, it's a senseless statement and there's no need for it.

... Except homosexuals call us heterosexuals "breeders" pejoratively.

And asians have an opinion of white and black people. And black people have an opinion of white and asians. And we've all got all sorts of words which we use more or less pejoratively about each other.


And if you can get arrested for calling someone or something gay (even on the internet nowadays), I'm pretty sure that counts as a ban.

ren wrote: ... Except homosexuals call us heterosexuals "breeders" pejoratively.

And asians have an opinion of white and black people. And black people have an opinion of white and asians. And we've all got all sorts of words which we use more or less pejoratively about each other.


And if you can get arrested for calling someone or something gay (even on the internet nowadays), I'm pretty sure that counts as a ban.

Again, this post is not centered around the possibility of banning free speech, it's about people being aware that what they say effects others and would feel the very same way if they sat on the other side of the glass.

the problem isn't with free speech (it already doesnt exist: over here we can get arrested if something we say upsets someone, so we're free as long as we're in international waters). the problem is with freedom of thought. I don't like making people feel culpable for thinking one way or the other.

Someone sent me a PM saying that not all (if any) homosexuals call heteros breeders, and as such it's unfair to say that all homosexuals are like this.

But that's not the point at all. It's fine for people not to like "breeders" just as much as it's fine for heterosexuals not to like gays.

the people who tell you you can't love another man are exactly the same kind of people who tell you you can't dislike homosexuality: They don't like the way you think and try to make you feel smaller for it, point their finger at you for it.

To a comment like "this is so gay", you can get two kinds of replies:

People I avoid like the pest would say something like "this is wrong".
People I call good friends would say something like "oh yea this is making my willy so hard".

I really struggle to understand why people find it so hard to go ren's route. Especially, in this case, homosexuals. Why would you be offended when something is likened to something you like? If something is gay and you like gay things, why would you choose to be offended about it?

You and you alone are responsible for your own feelings, why choose rubbish ones when you can have good ones?

ren wrote: Especially, in this case, homosexuals. Why would you be offended when something is likened to something you like? If something is gay and you like gay things, why would you choose to be offended about it?

I want someone else to tell me what is wrong with that right there and I will give you a cookie for a prize.

Because the offending party is associating something the offended party views as "good" with something "bad" and that challenges the offended party's view of it. Should it be a "good" thing closely associated with that persons identity the offending party is then seen as associating the offended with something "bad". Since this can be interpreted as an attack on the offended they sometimes choose to attack back by indicating the offender is "bad" as well.

I think there may be a misunderstanding regarding my reasoning behind posting the article. Typically, I choose not to be offended when I hear the word 'gay' used in this manner, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect me on a certain level.

Have you ever read a book or watched a movie that you felt a deep connection with, and then someone comes along and tells you how much they disliked that book/movie? No matter who you are, you're going to have some sort of reaction to this. If even for a second, you might think, "Is there something wrong with it?" - "Have I misjudged it?" - "Is it really that bad?"

This is all I was trying to get across in my brief commentary. I felt the subject related to Jediism in that I thought part of being a Jedi was learning good communication skills (which includes knowing the what/when/how of words and their affect on other people).

My motivation for posting the article was (as Orvis wrote) in hope that people will learn to give more attention to the words they speak and be aware of how those words might affect others.

I feel like I've shared my side of things and don't have more to add to the conversation at this point, so I'll leave all of you to it.

ok...

how about "no, I'm gay and this definitely isn't". the discussion will stop right there or keep on going along the lines of "yes it is", "no it's not". Either way it's a non-event.

I was discussing gay culture with another member the other day. He was complaining that nowadays homosexuals had to be young fit and hypersexual. I said I read an article where a veteran gay right activist was appalled by what his achievements were used for (basically he'd fought to be recognized as a normal person, yet modern homos don't act normal at all).

That veteran (and that member) would obviously think that a proper gay person is very different from what those new-gen gays think is a proper gay person. And while I would myself be quite happy to endlessly argue the pros and cons of being or not being shallow, they're always going to disagree because it simply is a matter of taste. there really is no point in making yourself feel bad just because you're failing to make someone think/feel like you do.

ren wrote: ... Except homosexuals call us heterosexuals "breeders" pejoratively.

And asians have an opinion of white and black people. And black people have an opinion of white and asians. And we've all got all sorts of words which we use more or less pejoratively about each other.


And if you can get arrested for calling someone or something gay (even on the internet nowadays), I'm pretty sure that counts as a ban.

So, that's the reason it should be OK?

Because everyone else does it?

I'm not think not....

I am striving to be sympathetic, and caring of the thoughts and feelings of others....

++++++++
Free speech is great...

Talk like you want, everyone...

And those of us that are bothered by the lack of sensitivity can take our toys and go elsewhere....

Your free speech is fine, till if gets in my free ears, and I have to listen to your free, inconsiderate, uncaring, ignorant opinions....

I'm not mad, not in the least little bit, but, the best excuses boil down to "everyone else acts this way" and "they are just words"...

Well, one, if all your friends jumped off the bridge would you?

And two, if they are only words, maybe try other words....

It's just common decency at the end of the day...

We all have corner shops (lovingly referred to as "the paki's") or Chinese Takeaways (lovingly referred to as "the chinky's")

Both of these references are only shortened versions of the word.. I personally wouldn't be offended if I had a Scottish place and someone said "Hey lets go to "Jocks" place, or "Scotties" or the like.

But it doesn't mean that I would say "Hey guys let's go grab a chinky" when in earshot of a chinese person, because it's just plain rude.

And I think, that is basically the point here, lets be a little more sensitive on the matter, Arcade's a nice guy and it obviously hurts his feelings when people use it in a derogatory way, people here could say your view is ignorant Ren (I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying it could be taken that way).... so lets say everytime someone says something ignorant on the forum people say "dude that's totally Ren" ... sure it may not bother you at first, but eventually it would get to you man, think about it.