That's so gay!

True enough...

My son would say it, and not mean anything derogatory about it...

And he is comfortable with gay folks.... He is just speaking the slang of the times.... Not being malicious...

But, after explaining to him my views, he agreed and no longer uses it (at least around me......)

Jestor wrote: after explaining to him my views, he agreed and no longer uses it[/color]

Is that you forcing your beliefs onto others instead of accepting their nature again Jestor. :whistle:

*wee bitty scottish banter for ya there

speaking of which....

If he stops using it in my home only, then yes... I am exerting my will upon him...

However, if he stops altogether, I'd like to think he sees, and agrees with my statement....

We settle for following along at some point, and for some reason...

Sometimes, its because of a parent, sometimes a spouse, but, it only sticks when its what we want for ourselves...

Wow, this topic certainly went a distance. I know it's nearly a week later but this has always been a touchy subject for me and I really wanted to comment.

For the record, I'm gay, so that's why it's of interest to me.

I had a similar conversation with a friend of mine a few years ago. Her son, aged 12 at the time, used gay in a negative way. He was aware that I was gay and me being the sensitive thing that I am, took the hump. Now, I wasn't going to say anything to him, after all, it was not my place; it was at her house and he was her son.

After he'd gone to bed, I pointed out to my friend that I was disappointed that she didn't tell him off for saying what he said. What I got back was 'All his friends at school use it.' and I pretty much left it at that.

Now, the lad concerned is 15 and is very respectful towards me, generally speaking, despite my sexuality.

The point is, 3 years ago, he didn't know any better, but now he's grown up.

I don't have a problem with people using gay as a negative in general terms. I'm in favor of free speech and equality. Giving someone a job for example or special treatment BECAUSE they're gay isn't equality, it's discrimination, just positive. On balance though, people (myself included) tend not to mind positive discrimination so much, as it makes up to some extent for the negative discrimination.

Personally, the use of language changes from individual to individual.
For example, if my partner says 'that was a bit gay' to me, I know it's because I've done something camp or girly. If someone doesn't know me as well said the same thing, I might be annoyed but not say anything. If someone I dislike says the same thing to me, I would (and have) pick them up on it.

Freedom of speech is down to the individual as well. I would suggest that freedom of speech should be an all or nothing affair. The problem is, true freedom of speech is virtually impossible. If I started posting on here about a terrorist plot, with details, sooner or later I would disappear under mysterious circumstances. I jest, but that's basically true. So freedom of speech is always a compromise.

If someone is offended by the particular use of a word, and they have told you this, it is down to you decide either to continue using the word, knowing that they will be offended, or stop using the word.
Offense isn't given, it's taken, so if no offense is meant, is it such a hardship to rephrase something? I think not.

Finally on this 'the meaning of words is ever changing' business. The word needs to be seen in context. As previous people have pointed out. The context is the most important thing, however, there comes a point where general use overtakes the original meaning, as with 'bad'.

In summary, say what you want to who you want and however you want, but do so mindfully and knowing, anticipating and accepting the consequences.

http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/

lol, I thought of this thread...

Awesome TV commercial directed me yo that website....

I agree with DaveServante's last post (having just now found this thread because Jestor bumped it), with the addition that language changes. "Gay" already has two meanings in English, and this is sort of a third. That doesn't make it proper, or right, or less hurtful, but common usage is what defines language. That puts things like this in a sticky spot.