Rants far and wide

Kitsu Tails wrote:

Brenna wrote:

Kitsu Tails wrote:

Brenna wrote:

Kitsu Tails wrote: This is a church isn't it? With supposed bishops and Religious heads, yes? So why not open up a "Confessions" e-mail where you can constructively rant out your troubles to someone supposedly certified to handle such things?

Theres not an email (i dont think...) but most people use PM or skype to talk to the clergy when they need to. Though, they dont let you just spew, some actually expect you to work on doing something about it

Which is why i was making it a suggestion.

"supposedly certified to handle such things" - care to elaborate?

What is there to elaborate on? I am pretty sure my words were quite clear. But as you wish.

Supposedly = According to what is generally assumed or believed IE: I am not sure as I am just a novice here and don't know the manners of religious order and actions here at TotJO.

Certified = Trained to aide in counseling/priest/confession

....to handle such things. (See Certified)

*nod* makes sense.

So you feel that speaking with someone who is certified in counseling training is potentially a good method of helping people deal with emotional stuff?

Yes. And so do many others.... since you know, Counseling and priests who take confessions are quite common. Speaking for myself, yes. I do.

Even though the training that certified counselors undergo in order to hold that qualification is based on our understanding of human emotions and behaviors that comes from decades of "studies"?

I used to PM Jestor and rant from time to time. And he never gave me advice or what to do, he just listened.

It was nice.

I would eventually work out what ever issue I had and tell him about it later and he would just say something like, “that’s good.” And smile.

When this thread first started I envisioned it being something like that, but for the public. I should have known it would become a pissing contest to see who is right and who has the better opinions.

My rant is, why in the hell do we have to Butt heads at every corner over every little thing? It just seems so pointless. Is it good for me to rant? Probably not. Did I hurt someone’s feelings? Most likely. And you know what? Sometimes I think we all need a little slap in the face as a wakeup call.

Go ahead, complain and argue away… prove me wrong.

Okay, I guess I’m done.

I was listening, and smiling....

Jestor wrote: I was listening, and smiling....

Aren't you always?

Good luck getting that confession, the line starts over here BTW...

I think...
I am having a hard time right now...
The one person who I counted on to always listen...
We''re separated now.
I have been very lonely and feeling no-one else new what I was going through. Then I made an off comment thread about how some people just needed to blow off steam and maybe we should have a place for that so the rest of the threads could enjoy a little more peace and constructive discussion.

I ... Was happy at the response to this...
I thought maybe everyone else needed a place like that...like me.
A few simple rules to keep fights from breaking out or hurt feelings and we would all have a place we could go to where somebody would listen...even if it was just a moderator.

But that was expecting too much and I was a fool. It became every other thread.

rugadd wrote: But that was expecting too much and I was a fool. It became every other thread.

Honestly, rugadd, I'm going to disagree with you. You were not expecting too much. You were expecting the bare minimum of respect that we, as people, as humans, as Jedi, should show other people.

It was us that screwed up.

rugadd wrote: I think...
I am having a hard time right now...
The one person who I counted on to always listen...
We''re separated now.
I have been very lonely and feeling no-one else new what I was going through. Then I made an off comment thread about how some people just needed to blow off steam and maybe we should have a place for that so the rest of the threads could enjoy a little more peace and constructive discussion.

I ... Was happy at the response to this...
I thought maybe everyone else needed a place like that...like me.
A few simple rules to keep fights from breaking out or hurt feelings and we would all have a place we could go to where somebody would listen...even if it was just a moderator.

But that was expecting too much and I was a fool. It became every other thread.

You know, there is no reason why you cant still do that.

And Im going to disagree with Steam here. Threads are organic. They change. Journals are set aside for the purpose of speaking without interference. The forum is not.

In all seriousness though.

If you want someone to just listen, there are many in the temple who cherish the opportunity to offer a safe haven for people to talk out what they are going through. Myself included. Reach out if you need to.

Brenna wrote: If you want someone to just listen, there are many in the temple who cherish the opportunity to offer a safe haven for people to talk out what they are going through. Myself included. Reach out if you need to.

I second that (unless someone beats me to it before I click submit...then I'll take third or...whatever).

There's no need to create threads to blow off steam or rant when you can be honest and open with us about what's going on in your life. You've got a pretty good support system here.

%$#&@*! I HATE IT WHEN MY MEGAFRAKKIN' PHONE JUST SITS THERE GOIN' *DUUUUH* WHEN I WANT IT TO DO WHAT I FRAKKIN' *TOLD* IT TO DO, LIKE FIVE FLIPPIN' MILLENNIA AGO!! THE TECHIES WHO MADE IT ARE SODDIN' GOBSHITES WHO DON'T KNOW THEIR ARSES FROM THEIR ELBOWS AND BLEEDIN' TWAGGITS WITH THE COLLECTED BRAINS OF A SINGLE SEEDLESS GRAPE!!

*sigh* Wow... that felt good!

Thanks - I needed that lol

Brenna wrote: On a basic level, the problem is that focusing on the "being angry", makes you angry. When you rant, one of two things might happen. It may be a sense of “flapping” as Jestor likes to call it, a release of excess energy that reduces the feeling of anger and irritations. (which frankly is more effective when done in physical activity rather than mental)

Or (and more commonly)

The process of ranting helps to strengthen the trigger/response mechanism about a particular topic. Essentially, the more you rant about a thing or topic, the more likely you are to get angry about it in the future because you’ve reinforced a thought pattern and its subsequent physiological and emotional response.

A study done last year at the Department of Human Development, University of Wisconsin on the rise of “ranting sites” stated “Decades of research have shown that venting, far from releasing anger, actually makes it worse. Not surprisingly, this study has shown that online ranting seems to increase anger and is associated with anger-related problems.”

From a personal perspective, being angry is more often than not my primary response when I feel out of control. Whether it’s when dealing with people (who are being dumbasses!) or circumstances (which really don’t friggen work for me!). The experience of being angry and ranting gives me a false sense that I’m “doing” something about it. Almost as though the significance of my anger is the same as taking action. And all it does is raise my cortisol and sensitize the trigger for the next time my mind recognizes a situation and puts it in the category of “getting pissed in 3…2…1..”

Which is why at the time, ranting feels good because youre “doing something” about it. But in the long term makes it easier to get angry, and less likely that you'll investigate the underlying issue.

This is a great TED Talk Vusuki posted a few days ago. Based on the information in the TED Talk what seems to be the biggest issue for ranting is neural plasticity, where someone can basically form connections in their brain over a certain issue (like whatever they rant about) and then by reinforcing that through persistent exposure just end up making it worse.

At any rate it's worth a watch

That gives all the more meaning to the Buddha's saying: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

Akkarin wrote:

Brenna wrote: On a basic level, the problem is that focusing on the "being angry", makes you angry. When you rant, one of two things might happen. It may be a sense of “flapping” as Jestor likes to call it, a release of excess energy that reduces the feeling of anger and irritations. (which frankly is more effective when done in physical activity rather than mental)

Or (and more commonly)

The process of ranting helps to strengthen the trigger/response mechanism about a particular topic. Essentially, the more you rant about a thing or topic, the more likely you are to get angry about it in the future because you’ve reinforced a thought pattern and its subsequent physiological and emotional response.

A study done last year at the Department of Human Development, University of Wisconsin on the rise of “ranting sites” stated “Decades of research have shown that venting, far from releasing anger, actually makes it worse. Not surprisingly, this study has shown that online ranting seems to increase anger and is associated with anger-related problems.”

From a personal perspective, being angry is more often than not my primary response when I feel out of control. Whether it’s when dealing with people (who are being dumbasses!) or circumstances (which really don’t friggen work for me!). The experience of being angry and ranting gives me a false sense that I’m “doing” something about it. Almost as though the significance of my anger is the same as taking action. And all it does is raise my cortisol and sensitize the trigger for the next time my mind recognizes a situation and puts it in the category of “getting pissed in 3…2…1..”

Which is why at the time, ranting feels good because youre “doing something” about it. But in the long term makes it easier to get angry, and less likely that you'll investigate the underlying issue.

This is a great TED Talk Vusuki posted a few days ago. Based on the information in the TED Talk what seems to be the biggest issue for ranting is neural plasticity, where someone can basically form connections in their brain over a certain issue (like whatever they rant about) and then by reinforcing that through persistent exposure just end up making it worse.

At any rate it's worth a watch

That gives all the more meaning to the Buddha's saying: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

You say that and no link?

Thats bull... lol...

Not 'bull' precisely ... just a little lazy, maybe ...

Here ye go :

http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/open-discussions/108614-tedtalk-titled-discover-the-three-keys-of-gratitude-to-unlock-your-happiest-life#168566

Jestor wrote: You say that and no link?

Thats bull... lol...

Lol my bad, thanks Alex

Ok here's my rant: took my Toyota rav4 for some warranty work yesterday. Now all of a sudden the entire back end of the car is rattling/thumping making all kinds of terrible noise and the dealership is refusing to find out what they did wrong. My car has been absolutely perfect up until yesterday. Just shy of 60,000 miles and has been great. So yeah I'm a bit grouchy after the phone call to the dealer. *sigh

Akkarin wrote: This is a great TED Talk Vusuki posted a few days ago. Based on the information in the TED Talk what seems to be the biggest issue for ranting is neural plasticity, where someone can basically form connections in their brain over a certain issue (like whatever they rant about) and then by reinforcing that through persistent exposure just end up making it worse.

At any rate it's worth a watch

That gives all the more meaning to the Buddha's saying: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

Yes. This!

GAHHH. Sometimes people can be so infuriatingly selfish. -___-

GAAAAAH I hate it when people are condescending and demanding and then act like its your fault somehow


:evil: :woohoo: :silly:

I really love it when its melting hot outside and I have to go do gardening.

HULK WANT CHOCOLATE.