Rants far and wide

I want to rant about something… but I can’t think what.

I have a roof over my head; food in my belly and friends to associate with… it all seems pretty good.

So I’m ranting that I don’t have anything to rant about!


Rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant...

Now I feel better! :woohoo:

hahahahhahahha :laugh:

Im going to rant about the half hearted rant of Wescli's...

I mean, come one!!!

Put some emotion in it DAMMIT!!!

For crying out loud!!!

I am frustrated...

Coming out is not as simple as telling people you're gay, bisexual, pansexual; transgender, genderqueer, genderfluid, or whatever the case may be. Coming out is an entire process of the people around you coming to terms with the implications of their assumptions about you being incorrect. Coming out is the painful process of being misgendered, having people ask inappropriate questions, and several other microaggressions that make everyday interactions painful. For this and many other reasons , coming out is a really scary experience that isn't at all as simple as what most of the media portrayals make it out to be.

Last night I was reduced to terrified ugly sobbing when I realized that my Christmas would be spent either quietly being misgendered and misnamed or in intense conversations with relatives about what it means to be trans and pansexual. I don't do well with being quiet about being misgendered, I usually (at the very least) do something passive-aggressive in response. I had hoped that my Christmas would be at least somewhat relaxing, that I would get a break from the stresses of work and school, but I'm only going to have to trade one kind of stress for another.

And I feel like it's all my fault, like I'm ruining my family's Christmas by being this difficult black sheep of the family. I know my mother wanted so badly for me to go to Minnesota for Christmas, but I'm regretting ever agreeing to go. My mother just informed me last night that I'd be spending Christmas Eve with someone from Uganda and I'm afraid that I'm going to have to explain all kinds of things to him, but additionally that Christmas Day will be spent with a bunch of children ranging from the ages of 2-17 and I'm not emotionally or mentally prepared to try to explain all this stuff to children, much less their parents. If it weren't for the fact that I'm not the kind of person to break promises, because I don't know what I am if people can't trust my word, I would just miss the flight to Minneapolis and that would be the end of it. I have enough groceries to make it through Christmas week. It's too late for that though, I've made promises and built up expectations about my arrival, therefore I cannot back out now. I regret it and I should have known. My apprenticeship studies included a lesson of meditation and contemplation about family relations, the answer was within me all along. I've spent my whole life trying to please my parents and with this Christmas thing I tried to please them then too. I've made a huge mistake and now I'm going to pay for it.

I just have all the rants today, but this one is actually one I wrote yesterday but wasn't really brave enough to post it.

Queerbaiting in media really hurts. If you're unclear what queerbaiting is, here is a bland resource that explains it. I'll give my own explanation too because I think it will help explain why it hurts.

Queerbaiting in media is when a television or radio show, comic series, book, or any other form of consumable media portrays a character with tell-tale signs that they might be queer of some variety, but rather than actually make the character officially queer, they quickly do something to reinforce the straight-ness or cisgender-ness of the character. Some shows are especially guilty of doing this multiple times with one character which can completely disillusion queer viewers. Why do producers, directors, and screen writers do this? Because queerbaiting is designed to lure queer people into consuming the media products without actually giving them representations of themselves in media. Queerbaiting often times turns into homophobic, "thank God we're not gay or this would be really awkward".

Yesterday, I was watching Once Upon A Time...



I have seen some pretty intense queerbaiting before such as the shower scene in Pitch Perfect, but I've never been so hurt by it before. Perhaps it's because this is the first show that did it and I was immediately aware of what was happening. In Star Trek Deep Space Nine episode "Rejoined" (S4Ep06), Jadzia Dax has the opportunity to find true love with a Torias Dax's wife in the host of Lenara Kahn (the Kahn symbiote was previously hosted by Nilani who was married Torias), but there I didn't realize it was still queerbaiting until after the fact because I had seen the episode when I was younger and just took it for granted that that happened without analyzing it. This time it hurt so much to watch, like getting slapped in the face with Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologiae... Ugh, this kind of stuff really sucks and straight people will probably never understand that pain.

Jamie Stick wrote: I am frustrated...

Coming out is not as simple as telling people you're gay, bisexual, pansexual; transgender, genderqueer, genderfluid, or whatever the case may be. Coming out is an entire process of the people around you coming to terms with the implications of their assumptions about you being incorrect. Coming out is the painful process of being misgendered, having people ask inappropriate questions, and several other microaggressions that make everyday interactions painful. For this and many other reasons , coming out is a really scary experience that isn't at all as simple as what most of the media portrayals make it out to be.

Last night I was reduced to terrified ugly sobbing when I realized that my Christmas would be spent either quietly being misgendered and misnamed or in intense conversations with relatives about what it means to be trans and pansexual. I don't do well with being quiet about being misgendered, I usually (at the very least) do something passive-aggressive in response. I had hoped that my Christmas would be at least somewhat relaxing, that I would get a break from the stresses of work and school, but I'm only going to have to trade one kind of stress for another.

And I feel like it's all my fault, like I'm ruining my family's Christmas by being this difficult black sheep of the family. I know my mother wanted so badly for me to go to Minnesota for Christmas, but I'm regretting ever agreeing to go. My mother just informed me last night that I'd be spending Christmas Eve with someone from Uganda and I'm afraid that I'm going to have to explain all kinds of things to him, but additionally that Christmas Day will be spent with a bunch of children ranging from the ages of 2-17 and I'm not emotionally or mentally prepared to try to explain all this stuff to children, much less their parents. If it weren't for the fact that I'm not the kind of person to break promises, because I don't know what I am if people can't trust my word, I would just miss the flight to Minneapolis and that would be the end of it. I have enough groceries to make it through Christmas week. It's too late for that though, I've made promises and built up expectations about my arrival, therefore I cannot back out now. I regret it and I should have known. My apprenticeship studies included a lesson of meditation and contemplation about family relations, the answer was within me all along. I've spent my whole life trying to please my parents and with this Christmas thing I tried to please them then too. I've made a huge mistake and now I'm going to pay for it.

Jamie,
It sounds like your family is really looking forward to seeing you, so maybe they will just be happy you showed up. If you don't want to talk about your situation, try changing the subject, like "I know you have questions, but Mom/Aunt Lucy/Uncle Bob/whomever, is not comfortable hearing this stuff, especially during the holidays. Maybe we can get to get together and discuss it some other time. Let's focus on why we are all really here; to spend time with the ones we love," and just move on. You are who you are, so be that person, it's not like you are a leper. Show up with a smile, and a good attitude. I think that the more you stress about it, the more others will feed off of that stress, in a negative way.

MTFBWY

-Rick

I'm not very pissed off today ...

Alexandre Orion wrote: I'm not very pissed off today ...

Hang on... are you ranting because you're not angry?

Edan wrote:

Alexandre Orion wrote: I'm not very pissed off today ...

Hang on... are you ranting because you're not angry?

No, I'm still angry ... just not as much.

Alexandre Orion wrote:

Edan wrote:

Alexandre Orion wrote: I'm not very pissed off today ...

Hang on... are you ranting because you're not angry?

No, I'm still angry ... just not as much.

Ah... please, rant away then

I am so so tired of hearing people whining. Suck it up and get on with your life. If you want to live your life complaining that is up to you. OR you can take command of you life and live it. Just stop your whining. It makes you look bad.

You want cheese with that?