Why monogamy is ridiculous

After reflection and the counsel of respected Jedi, I realize that I was too abrupt in my approach. While the thoughts behind my actions still bear true, I don't think I used language that was as conducive to conversation as it could have been.

I respect everyone, none of what I wrote was out of malice. Regardless, I apologize for the tension that arose as a result.

Squint wrote:

ren wrote: I wonder if there are any drugs aimed at taming sexual appetite. Traumatic experiences seem to work a charm, but come with a lot of other problems. With feminists being obsessed with rape, the male gaze and whatnot you'd think such a thing would have been created by now....

What an incredibly insensitive and frankly appalling point of view. Do you not have a shred of empathy? I am an Army Veteran, I am a male, and I am a feminist. Feminist means that you believe in equality, which, the last time I checked, is a part of the Jedi way.

Edit:

Found it in the Doctrine, "In a society that does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or circumstances of birth such as gender, ethnicity and national origin."

I wrote that line. I am anti-feminist because I am egalitarian. Egalitarians believe in equality, feminists do not. Even the word "feminist" is sexist.... I do have empathy for feminists: I hope a cure will soon be found for their illness. Much like (as I just said) I have empathy for people who have issues with their sexual urges, very probably to the delight of potential victims. Is this the point you are disagreeing with?

It is impossible for women here to rape a man according to the law where I live, they can statutory rape a boy, however it's not like they're going to do any jail time for that... So yea, I feel sorry for rape victims, the ones with no legal protection who find themselves forced to give their rapist child support... Entitled feminist princesses and their manginas? I can't wait to see them go extinct.

typed "feminism rape" in google images and this is what came up in fourth position



It perfectly illustrates my point.

Ren, your long membership aside, you sound like someone who has strayed very far from the path.

I'm one of those guys who shaped "the path".... Including totjo policies and doctrine. I have spent way more time pondering its finest details that you have... If you want to discuss "the path", let's do that.

She did not personally attack you, you just don't like being called out.

referring to people as trolls or commenting about their class instead of their arguments is against the rules. I know, because I worked on those... I know my signature does not reflect that, but I'm actually back to being "the admin", so please do take my advice into account? Thank you.

Hiding behind rules goes both ways, if her post counts as an attack, then so does your blatant misogyny.

I love it how cat worshipers accuse non-cat worshipers of being hateful. It's so original, no other religion does it.

What you said was incredibly offensive to the opposite sex. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will realize you should apologize and make peace with yourself.

Looking at Kitsu's comments, my guess is the entirety of the opposite sex was not offended. She may be offended if you continue to speak for her though.... So would my best friend (female anti-feminist), and my wife.

But then again I'd tell them what I tell everyone who feels offended: when you feel offended and you stop doing that, you feel better. Don't even have to blame someone or need money. It's that easy... And it's the Jedi way too! Who would've thought.

I realize that I was too abrupt in my approach

I disagree. It's good fun to go through this stuff.

kitsu wrote: And yes, Ren...There are ways to suppress sex... Not that many would want to do that haha

I think you'd be surprised by the amount of guys who want just that. Every mid-30s guy I know is like this right now. They don't want women anymore but still have a sexuality they can't shake off. I guess they're very much like homosexuals just a few decades ago: can't have what they want without potentially ruining their lives. Been trying to get rid of my sister in law... she's hot/fit, owns house, has good job (cancer research), watches sci-fi and anime, gives decent conversations, no mental ex no kids, not confrontational bitchy or manipulative, earned everything she's got so she's no princess: still can't find guy who fits, 37 y.o. WTF



To go back on topic: I think he looks at monogamy or long term relationships, etc the wrong way. Like most people. And that's why, as he astutely observes, most people suck at it.

I think it shouldn't be looked at in terms of supply/demand of sex. These days everyone seems to be running a PR and a marketing department just to deal with their sexual partner.
People should be accomplices instead. You both just robbed a bank together, and everyone else in the world is a cop. That, works.

ren wrote: It perfectly illustrates my point.

Not the one you think by the looks of it.... :dry:

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OK, line in sand, back to topic please thanks you, else start a new thread and a Mod (or someone) can shift things into their correct lines of discussion.

I like sex , but not enough to endanger a good relationship and not enough to let it rule my everyday life , and i certainly dont let it get in the way of a good friendship, i think its up to the people who are in a relationship whether they think monogamy is important, they decide , its their relationship and if my other half says he/she is not okay with me going around the block to many times then i will not , for me its simple ... i fall in and out of love easily and dont act upon it well not all the time anyway.

So then this song came to mind , :laugh:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydrtF45-y-g

Monogamy is only ridiculous so long as you feel it is. If it works for you, great.

"People aren't any good at it" - tell that to the many millions of monogamous couples who've been together 40, 50, 60 years. Something being difficult doesn't make it less valuable. The notion of monogamy hasn't only existed for 60 years, either. Society didn't ostracise people for visiting prostitutes and concubines; that doesn't imply the vast, vast majority of the population was using them.

Savage's idea if you're monogamous and in love with someone you believe you'll never ever find another person attractive -or if you do so, that you've "strayed" from the ideal of monogamy" - seems hopelessly naive. As Brenna says, attraction to other people is not incompatible with monogamy - only acting on that attraction. There are also many degrees of "action" before having a full-blown fling with someone else.

lot of stuff to respond to in this thread

if youve commented, please just pretend ive "thank you'd" your post lol too many to go through at this point but i appreciate all of your feedback

rugadd wrote: This is a hard one for me right now because I'm anti-sex right now. I've found it to be a pleasant distraction at best and a poisonous dalliance at worst.

For society, our standards will organically change over time. I do not support nor speak against the general populace moving toward more hanky-panky with less restriction. Should it happen we may be showing more honesty with ourselves if that is the direction we go, but that is neither here nor there.

Personally, I don't want to have sex with anyone. I don't want the hassle of everyone being different, having different needs, different expectations(both immediate and long term) and me trying to jump through hoops so that nobody is pissed off and everyone is satisfied. That is a game that never ends and is a colossal waste of time, let alone the emotional and mental ringer it puts me through(regardless of the "types" or "attitudes" present. There is ALWAYS crap I have to wade through).

An orgasm is a temporary need my body has and I see no reason not to just take care of it as fast as possible and not involve anybody else when the need arises.

Now...I am getting divorced at the end of the month after a very long relationship, so it may be peppering my opinion, but to put that in perspective, we have been "separated" for over two years now and I haven't once had sex during that time(let alone outside of our marriage).

I just think it is way more useful to put that intensity and long term focus on something more productive than a chemical release I can induce on my own.

im really sad to hear all of this rugadd

for whatever its worth, i appreciate your contributions here, when you interact

and also i am available if at any time you want to talk, PM me

i am serious about that
and i might seem like a judgmental a**hole in open forum, but when it comes to peoples actual problems, i listen a lot more than i talk

hiddeninthesnow wrote: And it's also kinda freaking awesome to hear his exploits when he has them, lol.

i wonder how common this is for women in general - how many women are actually turned on, lr just entertained, by the idea of their dude being able to just go out and just get some because theyre studs like that?

is that what it is?

??

I won't be responding to this obvious troll again.

im going to let you in on a secret: ren is one of the top 10 most useful contributors to the discussions here at the temple IMO

i wont explain why, i will only say that this is a more enriched place for his voice ebing here, and i will let you consider that on your own lol

magmon wrote: If you have a problem with what he said, send him a private message. If you wish to discuss your apparent feminism, please make a thread.

this is disagree with totally - if someone wants to publicly announce that black peoples brains are less evolved than other races then i expect every ethical jedi who onows better to be equally public in their denouncement of that kind of absurdity

i hope that it could be done as impersonally or with some dignity and not as a total a$$hole, but since i myself dont always live up to that standard i have to say i dont begrudge others who also dont

the only time things need to go PM imo is when it gets directly personal, and its no longer about the idea

even then i really think it ought to be worked out in public if at all possible

for one because the real truth is we cant hide from the world, also because watching that process happen, whether successful or not, could be very instructive for the rest of the community

This thread is temporarily locked so we can all cool down somewhat.

Thread unlocked. Please carry on as befitting discussion in a peaceful jedi temple.