What to do with anger?

  • baru
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06 Feb 2015 18:52 #180527 by baru
Replied by baru on topic What to do with anger?
Anger can beget anger.

My solution is: Breath.
Allow the emotions, thoughts and adrenaline pass through you before you act.

the terms I use are: "Stop, Rest".
When I get triggered I like to stop myself, let the intensity pass, and then start from the stillness.

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06 Feb 2015 18:53 #180528 by baru
Replied by baru on topic What to do with anger?
PS you might want to look into things like "Valerian Root".

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  • Kitsu Tails
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06 Feb 2015 19:09 #180529 by Kitsu Tails
Replied by Kitsu Tails on topic What to do with anger?

baru wrote: PS you might want to look into things like "Valerian Root".


Valerian Root for anger? Where do you get your sources for that? :huh:

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  • Desolous
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06 Feb 2015 19:42 #180533 by Desolous
Replied by Desolous on topic What to do with anger?
i needed this today. some jerk broke the door handle of my car last night.

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  • baru
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06 Feb 2015 22:15 #180549 by baru
Replied by baru on topic What to do with anger?

Kitsu Tails wrote:

baru wrote: PS you might want to look into things like "Valerian Root".


Valerian Root for anger? Where do you get your sources for that? :huh:


Valerian Root is the based for vallium.

it is used for anxiety and tension.

It induces a state of ease.

People who can't sleep are irritable. The reason most people can't sleep is because they have too much on their mind and that can lead to anxiety. If a person relaxes their mind, they can sleep. therefore be less prone to anger.

Since it induces a calming affect, that can help with anger.

Here are some suggested usages of the root:

Additionally, the herb has been used for irritability, depression, anxiety, nervousness, exhaustion, delusions, hysteria and nervous tension. It has also been used as a medicinal herb for panic attacks.

Valerian root has also been shown to relieve pain. This, combined with the sedative effect, makes it effective in relieving headaches (especially stress headaches,) migraines, arthritis and muscle pain.

This herb has also shown promise in treating several nerve disorders. Shingles, sciatica, neuralgia, multiple sclerosis, epilepsy and peripheral neuropathy are all conditions that respond to valerian use.

Valerian root has also been used as an herbal remedy for ADHD in adults and children along with other childhood nervous disorders.

This plant has a positive effect on heart health. It helps to slow the heart in tachycardia, helps regulate arrhythmias and stabilizes blood pressure. Its anti-thrombotic effect helps to prevent blood clots as well.

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  • Kitsu Tails
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08 Feb 2015 13:54 #180686 by Kitsu Tails
Replied by Kitsu Tails on topic What to do with anger?
As one who has had Insomnia and tried just about every sleeping agent out there....including Vularian. I would not suggest it's use. Vularian Root sure does give a state of calm.....And knocks you flat on your back in sleep, just because one is irritable and angry....dosn't mean they should sleep their life away lol :P If you are like me and grow a resistance to the sleeping effects of the herb. It causes a whole different kind of irritability and makes one feel nauseous and sick.

The whole point of the herb is to cause a sedative effect on the subject, this sedative effect while yes, calms you down and makes things like ADHD, Headaches and other internal "Yang" ailments Such as but not limited to (Irritability, depression, anxiety, nervousness, exhaustion, delusions, hysteria, nervous tension, Migraine, arthritis and muscle pains) have a sense of "Ease" this is because you are pretty much covering up the ailment with a "Cure for all" if your asleep your not suffering. That's like alot of the Anti Depressant drugs Therapists give to hyper active kids in school, it sedates and dumbs them down.

I, am not a doctor, but I wouldn't suggest Vularian Root for any of these concerns besides being a Sleeping Agent. (And super catnip for your cat) There are much better, less dramatic methods of solving Irritability and Anger issues by getting to the root of the problem rather than cover it up with a band-aid. Part of herbal practices is knowing your patient and treating the core problems with core cures. :)

This is just my opinion of course based on my own experience of Vularian Root. And I can clearly say that Id rather go to Anger Management classes than suffer the effects of Vularian Root on a daily basis :-p

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  • Slebo
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08 Feb 2015 15:01 #180691 by Slebo
Replied by Slebo on topic What to do with anger?

Cabur Senaar wrote: A few thoughts come to mind. It may not be useful to 'defeat' one's anger. The anger is present for a reason. It is in you, created by you. One should not regard any part of themselves as an enemy. If there is misunderstanding, then observe and ask. But the self should not be an adversary.

One cannot control what they feel, at least not directly. You can feed a fire or not, but the feelings are there until they pass. We are not responsible for our feelings. We are responsible for our actions. We choose. The anger is exhausting, but managing one's behavior is a victory. For me, it is a matter of what I want.

Am I angry? Yes.

Do I want to act out? Yes.

But I want other things more. So I work to become very sensitive, to notice the anger sooner, hold it out where I can see it sooner. Takes time.

Anger is a terrible master. Good luck, man.


"Free will can be a bitch, can it?" TMC

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  • Kana Seiko Haruki
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10 Feb 2015 23:46 #180988 by Kana Seiko Haruki
Replied by Kana Seiko Haruki on topic What to do with anger?
Can I ask that before folks use ANY herbal med etc that they get proper professional advise from a trained practitioner, pharmacist or doctor and take extra special care if you have any allergies, pre existing illness and or are already taking some form of medication - the Temple cannot be held responsible if someone falls ill due to something suggested here .

I'm interested in the 'treatment of neuropathy' aspect myself but will have to have a chat with my team on this one :)

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10 Feb 2015 23:55 #180990 by steamboat28
Replied by steamboat28 on topic What to do with anger?

baru wrote: PS you might want to look into things like "Valerian Root".

  1. Valerian is most often touted as a sleep aid. Which it generally fails at, considering in my experience it causes horrid nightmares in at least 80% of the people I've personally come into contact with.
  2. Using chemical crutches doesn't "fix" your anger issues. It just sweeps them under the rug. The underlying causes are still there, and to ignore them will make it worse in the long run.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Pedroky

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  • Aslyn
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11 Feb 2015 00:08 #180993 by Aslyn
Replied by Aslyn on topic What to do with anger?

Using chemical crutches doesn't "fix" your anger issues. It just sweeps them under the rug. The underlying causes are still there, and to ignore them will make it worse in the long run.


100% correct. Ultimately, when you're dealing with an emotion as pervasive as anger, treating the physiological symptoms and ensuring you get a good night's sleep is only going to do so much: might take the sting out of a particular incident, but this is ultimately a form of chemical-based escapism, and not something that serves to alter either the fact that you can be provoked to anger so strongly, nor that such an incident may yet be repeated in the future.

When we're talking about anger, control and the ability to develop a 'thicker skin' mostly comes through understanding of that emotion. In my experience, it's best if we analyse the emotional reaction along a short sequence:

Stimuli > Emotional Sensation > Emotional Energy > Expression/Response

Put simply, when a situation provokes you, there will undoubtedly be a particular trigger for this, but the psychological/physiological response will be roughly the same: an incident occurs that provokes your emotional trigger (in this case, anger), usually provoking adrenaline production and, typically, a level of psychosomatic 'emotional energy' (which, in essence, is a psychological motivating force, provoking the desire to initiate a response on some level). Incident occurs, you feel angry, you gain that momentary sense of physical empowerment as a consequence of that emotional energy, and this all builds up to an external physical reaction: maybe you swear at someone, punch them in the mouth, just end up kicking something as hard as you can. Whatever the case, it's a straight stimuli-response sequence.

My question to you: where do you imagine the control element comes into play? You've no doubt gotten angry before, and restrained yourself. Where did this occur? You can't control the stimuli (though it's perfectly possible to adjust your psychological triggers to stop a stimuli from provoking that particular reaction!), the emotional sensation (i.e. the initial feeling of anger) is fairly reflexive (and part of our evolutionary survival mechanisms), so where we have to focus our attention is upon that emotional energy: that sense of needing to respond, almost compulsively. The idea behind effective control stems from one of two operations:

1) Alter the emotional trigger so as to be 'immune' to that provocation (i.e. develop a thicker skin!)

2) Redirect the emotional energy into a more positive stimuli-response mechanism

The first is a question of understanding a) what provoked you and b) why it provoked you (what about that situation caused you to be upset?) and settling with it - acceptance of anger and a recognition of it not serving any effective purpose is often sufficient as a catalyst for that change. The second comes down to learning to calm yourself in heightened emotional states and push that emotional energy either to a point where calming down allows it to simply bleed off, or where you can direct it in a more positive manner - I know plenty of people who hold onto anger and then use it as a means of helping them to perform tasks, such as giving them momentary inspiration to paint/draw/cook etc. Some people channel it into physical activity (going for a run, playing a sport etc). There are plenty of effective outlets: the trick is taking control of the emotional expression and deciding what to do with it. Oftentimes takes conscious effort, but it can be done.

My advice to you? Figure out your triggers, and find a coping mechanism that lets you channel your emotional energy more positively when provoked. There's nothing wrong with anger except what you do with it! Find a way to direct it more positively (and preferably to the benefit of others), and you'll be on your way.

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