Why do people here feel unimportant?

Snowy Aftermath wrote: Do you really not get that some people are talking about themselves in that thread?

Stop taking everything in the world personally, Adi. You're only hurting yourself.

Umm. I wasn't talking about you or me. If you can't accept that, I don't know what else to say. Sorry if you're upset.

Snowy Aftermath wrote: oh my. I've made a huge mistake.

Nah. A tiny disconnect and we solved it quietly and politely. Absolutely no apology necessary.

More to the point, thank you, sincerely, for stepping up and showing the behavior you want to see. Not just in this instance, but every day.

Adi wrote:

Snowy Aftermath wrote: Do you really not get that some people are talking about themselves in that thread?

Stop taking everything in the world personally, Adi. You're only hurting yourself.

Umm. I wasn't talking about you or me. If you can't accept that, I don't know what else to say. Sorry if you're upset.

Passive aggressive, eh? I'm leaving the funhouse thread now.

Snowy Aftermath wrote: Passive aggressive, eh? I'm leaving the funhouse thread now.

I really was not talking about either of us, and I don't know what to say if you can't accept that. It's a trend that predates both our times here. I'm sorry you're bothered by what I said, but it was not an attack on you or a response to me feeling slighted by something you or anyone else said.

I borrowed this from another thread and edited it because it came from a forum that is not open to the same membership as this one. I did this not because everyone doesn't deserve to read said thread but because I wanted to avoid stepping on toes. Maybe the quote wouldn't have caused a problem, maybe it would have. I chose to avoid the possibility.

Council Member wrote: The [topic discussed in another thread] are being discussed in Council at the moment, but as things stand you [topic discussed in said thread] (or wait until the discussion has finished lol).

Is this the kind of thing that people would like to see more? At least an acknowledgment that the topics being discussed here are also being discussed "higher up" when it's a topic that needs the Council's approval? (some things do not need to go all the way to Council to change, that's all I meant)

I know this is only one point and I'm not saying that this would be the fix all, just that it would be a step in the right direction.

Council transparency is something I have been asking for for ages and is one thing I believe that would help, in fact, it is probably the primary solution.

your new question I had to think about.
I dont care if I am important here but I do think it is important to me at the moment to give back to the Temple for all the help and advice I have been given here.
In order for me to feel a part of this community, a thing which has importance to me. Then I need to respond more, get over the nobody wants to hear my thoughts. Go in chat maybe more, and say hello (which fell of as things got stressed)
make this more somewhere others want to be, which in turn gives me opportunitys to learn and hear many different opinions.
This is important to me, that it grows and even if no one ever remembers me as more than a pain.
Thats important, (Totjo) for all that are here now and will one day join.

Cabur Senaar wrote:

Snowy Aftermath wrote: oh my. I've made a huge mistake.

Nah. A tiny disconnect and we solved it quietly and politely. Absolutely no apology necessary.

More to the point, thank you, sincerely, for stepping up and showing the behavior you want to see. Not just in this instance, but every day.

Thanks Cabur. I am humbled by the compliment. I just wish I'd quit causing so many of the train wrecks in the first place.
/sneaks off again

Edan wrote: Council transparency is something I have been asking for for ages and is one thing I believe that would help, in fact, it is probably the primary solution.

I'm curious, just curious, not meaning to sound confrontational or anything like that, what does Council transparency mean?

Or, what is it that is felt we're not being transparent about?

I ask; because, I have been on Council for a while and as far as I know we/they have not hidden anything for the membership. There are things discussed amongst us as if we would in PMs, but that is so there are no miscommunications when we're trying to figure things out.

If anyone ever wanted to know what we were discussing all they would have to do is ask. Most of the time it would be perfectly fine for any member to see every word said. Now, that does not mean we say things that would not be fine for all to see. What that means is that sometimes things are discussed that were sent to us via PM and "that" person may not want to share their thoughts with the whole world.

Complete transparency... does everyone know that not only do we respect your privacy but we cherish and strive to protect it? We leave the groups to discuss what ever it is they discuss. We do not interfere... No one has to worry about messages being gone through. Chats being set in on. Except for the public forums, there is little regulation or transparency.

Does everyone know that there is a forum for Moderators? One of the things discussed there is when we get PMs or "report to moderator" notices about things people have said or done.

There are lots of things that go on in the back ground the average member doesn't really know about. And there are a few reasons for that. One is, we don't want people that aren't involved in the inner goings on to spend their time worrying when they have so many other things to be attending to. Another is that some things are personal to the parties being discussed. No one would want their issues on display for all to see. Another reason that tends to be overlooked a lot is that too many cooks spoils the soup. We value input and very often ask for it. Maybe not to the masses, but I know for certain that I have asked different members their opinions on topics being discussed. Helps to get different points of view. But a crowd shouting what they want just causes disorder. And I am NOT referring to all of you as a disordered crowd. But it is very overwhelming when everyone wants it done their way. And it is very disheartening to spend so much time, volunteer time, that we get little to no thanks for, trying to keep everything going and then having accusations brought to us.

Why do people feel unimportant...
I posed something about two pages ago. It got a few thank you's... and zero discussion. As many of you feel we over look what you have to say, we get the exact same feeling on a regular basis.

So why do we bother. Because each of you are important to us and we do care. We really care. And we love each of you. Even when we disagree, get ignored or are suspect of something. Each of you mater to us... and so we continue, and try to help.

Goken wrote: Ok. Less than 24 hours. 6 pages. Some very, very good points brought up.

Now, if it's okay with everyone, I would like to shift the discussion just a little to answer the questions "What would make you feel more important or more valued?" (thanks for the idea on changing the wording Kit )

This can be things that others can do and things that you think that you yourself can do. I have seen multiple posts say "I know that it's partly my issue." Most people come here looking for some self improvement and I see a chance for that here. We're here to help with that in any way that we can. I also see some opportunity for improvement of this community.

I don't want to see blame here. No names. No specific calling out. I know that this is very similar to the initial question but I believe that it is a subtle difference that warrants it's own answering. If a mod feels that it's a different enough conversation to create it's own thread than by all means do so.

Let's hear some constructive ideas for improvement.

Just in case it got lost in my mile long post:

Kit wrote: If I think the walls should be painted a vibrant purple and everyone else is happy with the mushroom, then that's perfectly fine. But I want someone to say "You know, let's talk about this purple thing..."

I want some more transparency. I understand that there are some things that don't need to be talked about in the open (only thing that comes to mind are other member's personal stuff). I want some common courtesy across all ranks. If something is taking a while, let that person know. Even a simple "Hey, we're still talking about it" lets me know that it's still in the eyes of those working it. If someone has a concern, not to dismiss it out-of-hand. I want people to realize what their rank MEANS. That it has weight. What they say often caries more because of some band under their picture. I'm not saying they should censor but just be AWARE of what it means. We have all sorts of classes at every level for this in the Air Force. Maybe something in a lesson plan somewhere.

I'll get back with you if I think of something more. Thank you Goken for this thread and this opportunity.