Playing in the Shadows

(I wonder if we're getting off topic here? It might be good for a mod to separate at some of the posts above this one. I have reported this post and will see what happens. Don't be alarmed!)

Two things. One, my Access Consciousness training, which has helped me to embrace my total self. I have been learning to accept all parts of me, including the nasty parts. I've also been learning to live without judgment, which is a process! But, it has helped me to stop seeing things in terms of morality, and to start seeing them as just... there, for it to exist. And, with this lack of judgment, I've been able to stop keeping myself down for the various things I feel I deserved to be held down for. Thus, I've been able to move on with my life and begin to think about stepping forward.

Really, baby steps!

The second thing has been to embrace my training here. I have been learning about vulnerability and empathy, which has helped me accept that I can be a shitty person sometimes. But, that being a shitty person is only a part of what makes me... me. I have been able to move on from that and attempt to be a shitty person less often.

:laugh:

Connor L. wrote: (I wonder if we're getting off topic here? It might be good for a mod to separate at some of the posts above this one. I have reported this post and will see what happens. Don't be alarmed!)

Two things. One, my Access Consciousness training, which has helped me to embrace my total self. I have been learning to accept all parts of me, including the nasty parts. I've also been learning to live without judgment, which is a process! But, it has helped me to stop seeing things in terms of morality, and to start seeing them as just... there, for it to exist. And, with this lack of judgment, I've been able to stop keeping myself down for the various things I feel I deserved to be held down for. Thus, I've been able to move on with my life and begin to think about stepping forward.

Really, baby steps!

The second thing has been to embrace my training here. I have been learning about vulnerability and empathy, which has helped me accept that I can be a shitty person sometimes. But, that being a shitty person is only a part of what makes me... me. I have been able to move on from that and attempt to be a shitty person less often.

:laugh:

Lol. Yes, my curiosity has a habit of derailing things. But my curiosity is piqued. How has learning about empathy led you to accept that youre, as you say "a shitty person somedays"?

Because I more understand that narcissism is an inhibitor. Self-centeredness stunts movement on the Hero's Journey. It keeps me from seeing the bigger picture since I'm so focused on making ourselves pleasured and pampered.

Connor L. wrote: Because I more understand that narcissism is an inhibitor. Self-centeredness stunts movement on the Hero's Journey. It keeps me from seeing the bigger picture since I'm so focused on making ourselves pleasured and pampered.

All good points. I guess I'm not understanding how developing empathy has facilitated that for you. But no doubt everyone's experiences of it differ.

I don't think I can be empathetic and narcissistic/self-centered at the same time.

Connor L. wrote: I don't think I can be empathetic and narcissistic/self-centered at the same time.

No, I suppose not.

Connor L. wrote: It keeps me from seeing the bigger picture since I'm so focused on making ourselves pleasured and pampered.

What do you focus on instead?

I don't actually have a focus right now. I'm more in the exploring phase. But, I am learning to let off the hose a bit on the hedonistic lifestyle.

A lot of these problems are caused by my mental condition, by the way. ADHD. I'm untreated, and I think a lot of my problems are particular to my condition. I hope some of this is helping.

I do believe that all of us have got sometime been responsible of that. I understand I have. I want to accomplish better. Im unclear I am aware of what you imply. Are you able to elaborate?

Brenna wrote:

Connor L. wrote: Of course.

When we have a know-it-all attitude, we often do not put the time in to learn and grow. The responsibility as Jedi, as I discussed, is that willingness to know. So, generally people who "think" they know everything will have their path as Jedi impaired.

Do you think a know it all attitude is typical to Jedi?

More "humans" than "jedi" is how I read that....

I think Jedi are aware, and work to make it happen less...

But, we (Jedi) are susceptible, lol, thats for sure...:lol:...

Connor wrote: (I wonder if we're getting off topic here? It might be good for a mod to separate at some of the posts above this one. I have reported this post and will see what happens. Don't be alarmed!)

Nah, I think it is ok...

If another Mod disagrees, and wants to move it, I wont challenge it...