Rants far and wide

This is not a rant....

Yesterday, at the end of my working day I received a text message from my boss which I interpreted to mean a change of plans indicating that I needed to complete a project which I had planned to spend the weekend working on by today. Although the project was not huge and probably would have taken me a couple hours, I had not planned for that. I had a litany of things I needed to get done and I was going to be lucky if I were to accomplish all that in the time I had while still getting seven hours of sleep. Being the type of person I am and wanting to continue to demonstrate my willingness to do what is asked of me, I simply said "ok" and decided that others things would have to give in order to complete this task. In my mind, there simply wasn't a way out of doing this project overnight. After completing the project well after midnight, I sent the files as attachments and in the body of the e-mail explained the situation this change of deadline created for me in vague terms (because really, it's none of his fucking business what I do outside of work and the less he knows, the better). This was my way of asserting myself while also honoring his demand that I complete a project overnight.

This morning I show up for a meeting and he asks me how I'm doing to which I respond that I'm exhausted. His tone immediately changes from friendly inquisitive to hostile and defensive. He starts berating me for not being responsible and communicative. My exhaustion is my fault. The next thirty minutes were him essentially saying that I should have told him I couldn't do the project overnight and that it was my fault because I had misunderstood the intent of the message. He then got upset over the e-mail I sent him for saying that I would not be able to do any further work revising or improving project files over the weekend. When I tried to explain to him that part of my time management process means that I can't just drop everything and do whatever he wants on a whim, that when he gives me a project that I schedule it out like I would an appointment. It didn't come out quite this elegantly, but it doesn't matter because he stopped me and basically said he didn't care. He then showed me a page and half of notes scrawled on a piece of paper and told me it took him an hour to do and that it would take another 45 minutes to type up on a computer. He did this to make a point that he believed my inability to do any further work on improving the project was unreasonable because he was able to scribble some notes on a piece of paper in an hour and, theoretically, be able to type it up in less than hour.

This was all followed up with a rant about how he pays me good money and that I need to be more productive (ironically, the only thing stopping me is a lack of tasks to do). He repeated his sentiments quite a few times, emphasizing his financial income is lower than his employees (which I don't give a shit about and really has nothing to do with me). He continued on to tell me about his financial struggles as he faces what every small business owner faces, the need to expand while having only so much income to spare in order to do so. Indirectly, he placed the success of his business on my shoulders implying that my lack of work ethic is what is causing his financial woes.

Here I sit, questioning reality and freaking out. Fuck.