I was inspired to write this by recent events in my own life. Being a Jedi is something that you must work at consistently. A few people here have recently quoted the four or five moments speech Colossus gives in the DeadPool movie in which he says being a hero is not consistent action but only four or five decisions over the course of your life.
In my opinion this is not true for a Jedi. Well not entirely. To be a Jedi you must wake up a Jedi and go to sleep a Jedi. All of your actions ideally are guided by your understanding of the Jedi code, creed, maxims, and teachings. It is the day to day rubber meets the road actions that make you a Jedi. So it is very easy to fall of the path and give in to things we know are not worthy actions of a Jedi.
For me this came when I got ill recently. I have a situation with my back which causes the muscles to inflame from time to time with the results being very intense pain. This is kept at bay by taking proper care of my back through core work outs and yoga to keep myself limber. If I fail to do this and then sleep oddly or tweak my back in any way it flairs up. These things are also made worse by lack of proper sleep.
So getting sick left me not sleeping well and in no state to work out. This lead to a massive back issue which in turn lead to me sleeping even less. From there it caused a lot of missed classes and a failure of the last semester of school. In part this was because the pain and lack of sleep lead me to self pity instead of talking to my teachers to fix the issue.
In short all my training, all my school work, and my whole daily practices were derailed all because of a stomach bug. I let self pity and pain knock me off my path for almost two months or more. This lead to depression and making it harder for me to get back on the path. But in such moments when you are worn out it is vital to push on with our practices. You must plod forward, heck crawl forward if its all you can manage. Drag yourself back on the path and it will help you refocus.
For me it was a matter of just getting back up. Stopping my self pity or if I couldn't do that just working the path any how. To quote Yoda it was do or do not. Trying got me nowhere. I had to put my full effort into doing it. If I simply said “ I will try to meditate tomorrow” I ended up doing nothing. When I said I WILL meditate I got somewhere. Even if it was not as far as I wanted.
What really helped me in those moments where giving up seemed easy was reaching out to fellow Jedi. Remembering that we have a community here dedicated to helping others. Reach out if you have issues. Ask for guidance from your Master or other Jedi you respect. Don't try to go it alone. We have the Temple for more then just lessons. We have it as a place of support to me meet people further along then us. Failing to use those resources left me struggling more then I needed to.
Now why am I telling you all of this? Why am I putting forward what could easily come off as a sob story or example of my failings? Because I want my failure to show you what not to do. Do not let yourself go it alone. Do not let the darkness sink in while you are hurting. Learn to keep up with your practices when its hard. Learn to reach out even when pride says no.
The path of a Jedi is not an easy one but it is one but it is not one we walk alone. Remember that we are here for those that need us. You have only to reach out. Should you find yourself falling to the wayside remember my failures and do not repeat them. Keep the path and your fellow Jedi close my friends.
