Belonging

After three failed apprenticeships, and twice as many hiatuses; I've learned to treat the community as a way of life, rather than an answer to it.

I remember in high school being all about tripp pants and slipknot; however now prefer Chillhop and slouch beanies. Our identities are continuously evolving and changing, and in foolishness we identify the items of our fleeting interest as somehow foundational to who we are.

Don't beat yourself up too much over it.

We should be wary of labels we place on others, but even more on ourselves. I took on the label of Dark Aspect 20 years ago and found that many, many years and lifetimes of experiences later, it no longer fit me. It was a realization that was slow because the things I wanted to do (teach, lead, help) seemed to fit it but it was in the completely wrong direction. People change.

So as others have said, I will echo: don't worry about the labels. Live from your heart and not what others define in boxes. Be your authentic self and look for what fits that. Be prepared to put one thing on a shelf for a while when it doesn't fit, and take on something else. I think if you are authentic inside, then this kind of seeking for what matches on the outside is a natural and worthwhile journey.

Well you've all given consistent answers, so it's pretty clear where I've made an error.

I used to think the same way, actually, that I shouldn't place labels on myself or define my life to one extreme or another. It's funny, after thinking that way for so long (at least 10 or 15 years) I feel like I need some sort of definition. I need to know who and what I am. I guess it's just part of getting older. I'm 40 now. Maybe it's one of those mid-life crises I hear so much about.

I feel alone, and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I think I'd much rather be a part of this group than any other. It feels... better. It's not perfect, though. I just get the sensation that I'm more welcome here.

I've been a Jedi now for longer than I haven't, if that makes sense. 1996 was a hell of a year. I found myself longing for those times again, when studying the Force was a new thing, and being a Jedi was rare. There was more mystery in those days. But I know I can't turn the clock back, and I have to accept that.

Looking toward the future though, I hope I can find some of that mystery again.

I reckon there's still plenty of wonder and mystery to be had, if you stay open to it

I couldn't agree more with River. There is plenty of awe and wonder still left in all of this. Just because we have discovered so much about Jediism, energy work, qigong, holistic medicine, etc. doesn't mean that it is a complete thing! There is still so much left to learn, and our discovery can continue every single day. Hell that discovery can come in the form of you figuring out each day how you connect with something different like that tree, like that rock, the ground we stand on, the air we breathe, the person on the street, and just rediscovering the magic of that interconnection. What a great way to re-awaken that sense of newness and wonder ya know? The mantra I like is "I am other." I just say it when i'm out and about feeling sad, disconnected, and depressed. It helps me to realize that i'm more connected than I think, and it helps me feel that energetic connection that we are all sharing constantly.

You're in the right place my fine sir! If you ever want to get to know one another more, or have someone to talk to, my DM's are always open! Kudos to you for sticking it out and wanting to continue pushing forth in your own personal growth!

It's been a long time since I felt that mystery, that newness, that novelty. Not that I know everything, I just haven't learned anything fresh for quite a while. If anyone can provide something like that, I'm open to it.

On another note, I think I've figured out what and who I am. I've been thinking about it ever since I started this thread. But I'm not going to say what that is, because that would limit me in others' eyes, so to speak. The label I'm using for myself is personal, and it's somewhat related to the past, to my training back in the 90's. It sort of balances out my light and dark sides.

Thanks for your help everyone

Streen wrote: It's been a long time since I felt that mystery, that newness, that novelty. Not that I know everything, I just haven't learned anything fresh for quite a while. If anyone can provide something like that, I'm open to it.

Always willing to help where I can Streen