The Grateful Thread

The first of januari i started a challenge , inspired bij Cabur Senaar , of course i had no idea what i was getting myself into , like i never done in my life. I always dove in head first , picked up everything i liked and trew it away when i got bored with it and went to find another kick to keep me busy for a while , i have done that for more than 50 years , yes , i was a toddler that got bored extremely easy and was very hard to keep busy , it the beginning i used to stare my mother into keeping me busy , it drove her nuts , then i taught myself to keep myself busy , aaah much better , not depending on others. I taught myself too well. Lots of schools , lots of career choices , lots of religions, lots of distraction and never getting to the root of my frustration and boredom. I became a mother , that kept me busy , not boring , still not after 24 years loll
I finished my University at the age of 40 , got great jobs , became violantly ill and was confined to bedrest for a long time , it drove me insane, so did being married to a man who dragged me and my daughter to a cult we nearly could not escape from , leaving him behind. Now a few years later i realise that we were so paralized and scared we lived in constant stress. That has taken a toll on me and my girl. Anyway , i came to the Temple , i thought i would get bored , and frustrated and annoyed , and yes i did sometimes , but i started changing.

Starting a challenge that was long due for me : Selfdiscipline and Perseverance.
Starting with just logging in every day and reporting in the thread , starting working out more , from rarely regurlarly to 3 times a week, stopping smoking , reading up on my philosophy every day , meditating ! ,and now a final and big hurdle , eating food that is good for me :ohmy:

What has it brought me in the Temple
A good an steady foundation in my believe to become a Jedi knight , more insight in myself and in my motives , a better understanding of the internet and its limitations, a better understanding of the people here and more patience.

What has it brought me in real life :
More consiousness , more discipline , more mindfullness , more love for and from my friends , a better contact with my world , a big fight with my boss loll and a better job for it :laugh: , i can do more and live more , give more and leave more , i am more at peace and when i get frustrated i can lead it back to the right cause.

What will it bring me hopefully:
More in depth relationships with people , i am very scared of being attached to others and they percieve me as being a tadd shallow and airheaded loll , and i back off when they come to close , my daughter told me this , she is the only person i have an attachment to , she says its unhealthy , big girl loll i raised her well, she is moving away to go to Art University and i am sooo proud of her , she is afraid i am ending up like crazy cat lady :laugh:

So thank you Cabur :kiss: for offering this challenge