Jokes...

A Zen Master from Tibet is visiting New York City. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor thanked him, put the bill in the cash box and closed it. "Where’s my change?” askd the Zen Master. The vendor replied, “You of all people should know, change must come from within.”

THAT IS FABULOUS!! :woohoo:

Here's a visual one for you

lmao :silly:

i'm gonna have to try that one

Tom was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
Tom took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" Tom asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on deer corn to hunt deer instead of food?" Tom asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't hunted in 20 years!"

"Well," said Tom, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that???

Tom replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he’s given up drinking, fishing and hunting !"

:woohoo:

A man is walking in the desert, lost and near death when he arrives at a monastery. He knocks on the gate and the monks open, sees his peril and invites him inside. The man asks for nothing but a piece of metal wire and a banana. The monks give him the items and the man goes over to the well in the court yard, sits down with his back to the monks and fumbles around with the items. After a while he throws something into the well and storms out and moments later the monastery explodes.
The man walks on and he comes to another monastery and once again he's invited inside and asks for the same items. He then proceeds to the well, fumbles around, back turned, throws something into the well and runs out. The monastery explodes.
The man then comes to a third monastery and the tableau unfolds yet again, only this time one of the monks goes to sit next to the man. The man tries to keep his back to the monk and then throws something into the well and runs out but the monk gives chase. The monk chases the man for a long time and finally catches the man on the edge of a cliff. "Tell me what you did!", the monk demands but the man refuses. The monk yells "Tell me what you did or I'll push you over the edge!" but the man still refuses so the monk pushes him over the edge.

Anakin Skywalker may have been a mighty Jedi but I think he was dyslexic.

I mean, after his mother died, he told me his whole life just went to sith.