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How to Find Out If Your Penis Is a Normal Size
- OB1Shinobi
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Miss_Leah wrote: Oh, ALSO,
The size of a man's penis when it comes to sex is often completely subjective because women's vaginal canals vary greatly in size/shape as well. And just like penises, the size of the woman does not correlate to the size of her vagina.
i think this is something that men under-appreciate, and that deserves to be repeated
People are complicated.
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- Alexandre Orion
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OB1Shinobi wrote:
Jestor wrote:
The entertainment value of this thread is almost equal to the knowledge value, lol...
Im glad we arent too stiff in our conversations....
well its a hard topic to get a handle on, but so far the community has been up to it
I've followed this thread since the Opening Post, read and was grateful for the article (thanks, M ), yet strangely I find that I have very little to say on it. I do indeed feel that we need to be talking about these sorts of topics, for it is just this sort of 'secret shame' that will bubble to the surface in other sorts of unpleasant behaviour, leaving the original shame untended. Your contributions up there have been great, Clint ... thank you for that too.
It isn't merely the size of the penis that men worry over as to how we "compare" to one another. There is also admitting that we have feelings, that we are afraid (maybe often) and that sometimes we feel inadequate (not just in sex). To quote from Brené Brown, PhD. and "shame" researcher, University of Texas, Houston :
Basically, men live under the pressure of one unrelenting message : Do not be perceived as weak.
Whenever my graduate students were going to do interviews with men, I told them to prepare for three things : high school stories, sports metaphors, and the word pussy. If you're thinking that you can't believe I just wrote that, I get it. It's one of my least favorite words. But as a researcher, I know it's important to be honest about what emerged, and that word came up all of the time in the interviews. It didn't matter if the man was eighteen or eighty, if I asked, "What's the shame message?" the answer was "Don't be a pussy."
When I first started writing about my work with men, I used the image of a box--something that looked like a shipping crate--to explain how shame traps men. Like the demands on women to be naturally beautiful, thin, and perfect at everything, especially motherhood, the box has rules that tell men what they should and shouldn't do, and who they're allowed to be. But for men, every rule comes back with the same mandate : "Don't be weak."
Brené Brown, "Daring Greatly", pp. 92-93
I personally grew up under some pretty ridiculous austerity, some of that whip-lash Christian morality that was in response to the sexual liberation of the previous couple of decades. Sex was "dirty", and that was just 'normal' heterosexual sex -- gay sex was just downright disgusting and loathsome ... This is how homosexual men - even once "out" - can still have roaring cases of homophobia, prompting all kinds of self-destructive, self-sabotaging behaviours.
Anyway, I don't want to derail the thread with other topics for other threads. I just want to show a little bit how the "penis size" question does fit into the typical male shame complex. If it weren't, all these fraudulent schemes of how to "add X cms to it" would not be so successful. And apparently they are successful, since they've been around for a long bloody time ...
As it were, franc, open (as much as feels comfortable) conversation and support on these topics is very much within the mission of this church -- and shall be for as long as we are its Pastors. Women and men, women and women, men and men - in any and all combinations - can learn to understand one another better here, and understanding and empathy are the antidote to the shame that is poison to us all.
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OB1Shinobi wrote:
Jestor wrote:
The entertainment value of this thread is almost equal to the knowledge value, lol...
Im glad we arent too stiff in our conversations....
well its a hard topic to get a handle on, but so far the community has been up to it
Yeah that's the long and short of it.
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when i was in highschool playing football, we had to wear a cup (a protective piece of crotch armor that sits in a jock strap)...those that wore smaller cups were frequently mocked and ridiculed, while those that wore larger ones were viewed as "alphas"...one of my team mates measured his own penis (as most men do at some point) and he was proud of his size, eventually everyone on the team wound up measuring theirs....and a list was made....and posted in a few of the girls bathrooms...can you guess which guys had the most attention from the ladies?...the guys at the upper end of the list...while those towards the lower end were subjected to more ridicule...i'm not going to indicate which end of the list i was at...i'm happy with my body and i've never had any complaints, only compliments...the chart showing average size is nothing new to me as i've seen similar in human sexuality class...
should penis size matter?....yes and no...the average vaginal depth is around 4.5 -5 inches (last time i heard in class) so any penis within that range is ideal for procreation...it is possible to be too large (causing vaginal/uteran damage), or too small (making it more difficult for insemination) as far as procreation goes....as far as pleasure goes, a lot can be said for skill/technique...
the only way to wash away stigmas is through healthy discussion...
Through passion I gain strength and knowledge
Through strength and knowledge I gain victory
Through victory I gain peace and harmony
Through peace and harmony my chains are broken
There is no death, there is the force and it shall free me
Quotes:
Out of darkness, he brings light. Out of hatred, love. Out of dishonor, honor-james allen-
He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure-james allen-
The sword is the key to heaven and hell-Mahomet-
The best won victory is that obtained without shedding blood-Count Katsu-
All men's souls are immortal, only the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine -Socrates-
I'm the best at what I do, what I do ain't pretty-wolverine
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Former Apprentices:Adhara(knight), Zenchi (knight)
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Miss_Leah wrote:
Wescli Wardest wrote: And no matter what guys tell you, they really have no idea what they’re doing until you teach them. So talk to them. Tell them. Otherwise they will continue to fumble around, clueless, and no one wins then.
I can't tell you how important this is, but it also goes for women. Communication = you know what each other likes = better sex = infinite pleasure. There's nothing better than a little hand-on experience. Yeah, you'll start out being a noob, but the learning curve (or, "learning curves", if you will *snicker*) is in your favour.
On that note, I'd like to share with you all a resource on pleasure for people who have vaginas and people who have sex with people with vaginas: OMGYes . The website offers a service where you can learn about one of the first researched projects into sexual technique regarding the vulva (note: vulva is the exterior commonly incorrectly referred to as the vagina). The service is not porn, however prospective perusers should be aware that it is explicit (however the front page is not and you can safely browse around. You'll have to click a "Yes I am 18+" button before it takes you to pages where things are NSFW).
*claps hands together* Alright friends, time to get vulnerable and honest with you all.
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There is no emotion, there is peace. Those who have a family already, I have no problem, for example I greatly respect Jack.Troutman, he is a great member of the community. But emotions can cloud the Force.
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deep breath....
bahahahahahaahahahhahahaahhahah
Ok... i think I got that out my system.
Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Part of the seduction of most religions is the idea that if you just say the right things and believe really hard, your salvation will be at hand.
With Jediism. No one is coming to save you. You have to get off your ass and do it yourself - Me
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Brenna wrote: BAHAHA
For a lot of guys the doodads play large part of their conscious and subconscious experience 24/7, it's not just hanging around unnoticed, its ALIVE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xos2MnVxe-c
:lol: :sick: :S
So IMO its easily viewed in terms of their own self identity and as such if the penis is not up for the job then they feel that they are not up for the job. This will often be irrelevant to what feedback is given, as its the perception of genuine usefulness which will matter to the keen peniseer.
But my point is, no pun intended, if they think they are not... sufficient, then it can undermine the trust in the relationship itself!!! As some men will likely tend to assume women have the same sexual needs as them (since its their only frame of reference), and since its so important to them a lot of the time that perception becomes a serious concern - it can manifest as a serious persistent influence which can erode trust. Or in a workflow;
1. sex is so important to me,
2. so it must be as important to her (even if she denies it),
3. so if she is not satisfied from me she will seek it elsewhere (even if she says she is satisfied).
That assumes he would seek it elsewhere if sex was not sufficient, which is for better or worse seemingly how men are wired at some level, to procreate far and wide as much as possible. While obviously most fella's are above giving into such low level instincts, it still exists as a pernicious influence, however subtle, like a roaming eye for example. Sometimes my subconscious picks out a pretty girl in a room and before I know what I've turned my head 90 degrees and I'm looking right at her who I did not even know was there, even if I'm with my partner!! Not guilty your honor!!!
:whistle:
I tend to think this, and moment to moment genital awareness are both higher in men generally speaking then women, and together really fuel the potential for a complex to develop if let to get... out of hand.
So they assess other males in terms of potential mating/partner threats and get more distracted from the actual things she might be attracted to and instead fuel their same egocentric frame of reference which undermined the trust in the first place.
And so its a body image article I guess - meant to counter the focus on larger sizes in stuff like porn, as the authors associate normal to most, and as such making more people feel more competitive in light of that new media and its prevalence... at the cost of upsetting the guys on the low end and boosting the guys on the upper end. Better then it being taboo I guess.
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