Unshakeable chronic tiredness

Most of my life I've been overweight. Not very overweight (maybe 5kg over my ideal weight), though, as most people would have said I actually looked too thin for my height.

However, it never seemed to affect my life, I was always full of energy and a hunger and lust for life.

This all changed 6 years ago, when my daughter was born. Sleepless nights, busy days and lots of commuting, working and attending family matters have become the norm, and now I can manage to get 4 or 5 hours of sleep before waking up, dreading the day ahead of me because I am so tired. I've also given in to impulsive eating and am now 25kg over my ideal weight.

Social life is gone completely. Any free time I have I just want to sleep or stay in bed. And after all this time, it's starting to wear me out. I feel very frustrated and don't know how to make more energy for doing the things I want.

I know a busy life is sort of the norm nowadays, so how do you deal with situations like these?

I know this is perhaps not the answer you are looking for, but perhaps a review of your commitments is needed.

Everyone needs time to themselves, everyone need time to wind down. If you're not getting it, then maybe something else needs to change.

If I can help at all am here.. Good luck

Edan wrote: I know this is perhaps not the answer you are looking for, but perhaps a review of your commitments is needed.

Everyone needs time to themselves, everyone need time to wind down. If you're not getting it, then maybe something else needs to change.

First of all, I appreciate your honesty. People have a tendency to make up excuses for you and tell you only what you want to hear, which is not always what you need to hear.

I definitely agree that I need to review my commitments, but it isn't very easy. Here is how a typical day goes:

5:30am: wake up, family and I get ready for work/school.
6:30am-08:30am: drive my daughter to school and my wife to work.
8:30am-11:30am: I usually run errands (there is always something that needs to get done.
12pm: eat lunch
1pm-10pm: work
10pm-11:30pm: pick up wife at her mom's house and then drive home.
11:30pm-12am: wind down, get ready to sleep

Manu,

You are up in excess of what is recommended for anyone for a prolonged period of time, that would wear down any normal person. If you are going to bed around Midnight and are up by 5:30am, then you are probably only getting around 1-2 hours of REM sleep. If this is the case then you are slowly wearing down.

I have a series of injuries head to body that prevents me from sleeping for more than 3 hours at a time. I tried to keep mainstream work hours despite this and I slowly went mad until one day I became uncontrollably suicidal after the line between the terror of half sleep and reality began to emerge. Do I think you are out of sorts? No. You seem, from what little I know, to be just a person who has not had the time to unwind.

Just a quick sleep study done as shown in this blog here: http://blog.addapp.io/deep-sleep-much-need/
Shows that on normal you need around 5 to 2 hours of normal sleep to REM sleep, REM sleep being where your body actually recovers. You can train yourself to get less REM sleep in a given time with something called brain hacks, we did it in special task unit training in the military, but you don't get "quality" time and let's admit it... no one is really made to sustain a hacked format. I couldn't hold it up longer than 9 weeks and I suspect you have been holding it up longer.

Without proper sleep you will degrade and you need to make time for yourself before you can consider any other change in regards to fitness and getting back to your ideal weight. I have changed my sleep habits to include 3 periods of sleep per day to compensate for my lack of prolonged sleep time and with very little eating/fitness changes, since October I have lost around 15kg. It is not that I am eating better really, it is that I have more energy and more drive to do things that possibly burn calories. Also I do not sit and wallow as much anymore.

Now don't get me wrong, I still wallow.... but my injuries prevent much else, however making some time for you to rest might be exactly what you may need to do before you tackle or try to find "excuses" or other reasons for your fatigue.

Now if I recall correctly you wake up dreading the day. I did this in the US military, where you would wake up due to habit before the alarm and just lay there grunting in displeasure with your day. You are subconsciously or "preemptively" tackling your day because you have possibly been put into a mental corner, exhausted. This waking up at a set time is not easily changed and not always a desired change even when consciously desired.

I do not recommend any drastic changes other then making time for catnaps, there is a certain art to the catnap. There are quite simply hundreds if not more articles on this. I would recommend starting there, with catnaps, and making time for them irregardless of what chores people feel need to get done. You are good to no one if you are worn down and exhausted. All performance goes out the window.

Here is just an article to help get you started in some reading:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1363949/How-taking-catnap-helps-live-longer.html

This is possibly something you could research and try out for yourself without making a drastic change in your lifestyle, which I always recommend before committing to big changes. Since it is free and would have to be self initiated, then perhaps you can tackle your problem somewhat and even if it does not fix everything, it either gets you on the path towards self improvement or is something relatively painless and free to knock off the list of things you have tried when you later see a medical professional.

Respectfully,
Sulabri

Long term lack of sleep can lead to clinical depression. Where you don't necessarily need a reason to be depressed. One of the symptoms is tiredness.

In case nothing else works, good psychotherapy and good meds will be a basis.

In my case, recently, chronic tiredness has been overcome by going into a travel, both outer and inner, where, walking along the sea and near-sea towns I sifted through experiences and ideas to find what I really love to do with my free time. I found couple of new lively themes in my life: not only in the practical sense, but deep in spirit, too. However, I did use meds.



When nothing else helps, go on a quest.

Hey Manu
I worked in sleep disorders for 10 years. I would recommend a sleep study. Lots of people do well on 4 or 5 hours of sleep, others on 10. But if there is something disrupting that sleep such as sleep apnea or Periodic Limb Movement Syndrome, then your sleep quality can be greatly diminished. PM me if you want more details. I don't want to hijack your thread.

Manu wrote: Most of my life I've been overweight. Not very overweight (maybe 5kg over my ideal weight), though, as most people would have said I actually looked too thin for my height.

However, it never seemed to affect my life, I was always full of energy and a hunger and lust for life.

This all changed 6 years ago, when my daughter was born. Sleepless nights, busy days and lots of commuting, working and attending family matters have become the norm, and now I can manage to get 4 or 5 hours of sleep before waking up, dreading the day ahead of me because I am so tired. I've also given in to impulsive eating and am now 25kg over my ideal weight.

Social life is gone completely. Any free time I have I just want to sleep or stay in bed. And after all this time, it's starting to wear me out. I feel very frustrated and don't know how to make more energy for doing the things I want.

I know a busy life is sort of the norm nowadays, so how do you deal with situations like these?

How much time do you spend in meditation and physical training every day? this is required to keep your testosterone down as you age - until you reach 55 your levels will rise every morning and drop every night - Physical fitness and meditation assist with managing these levels - also if you are depressed or suffer from ADD or ADHD this can cause an offset in dopamine. Try therapeutic methods like marijuana or speak to your physician about alternatives - The human body only wishes to sleep 8 hrs a day = more than that will tire yourself even more believe it or not. Make yourself completely exhausted before a day where your wife agrees to let you sleep in... Then take 1 day a week to recover.

You are a Jedi - you are the Man of a two person relationship - allow your wife a day of rest in exchange for one yourself - and find balance within the force.

During your 30 minutes of wind down, perhaps spend them in hot bath and relax w nice smelling salts and music - it only takes 5-10 minutes to let go and relax

You CAN find peace if you CHOOSE to. May the force be with you on this tasking.