Support for spouses who don't understand Jeddiism

I was wondering if anyone has a spouse who doesn't believe in the same beliefs as you? aside from TOTJO I attend a Christian church with my wife. A, very devout one at that. I love the church there I attend with my wife but, I believe in The Force. My wife, argues against my beliefs vs. Hers and sometimes it can cause a strain on the marriage. I was wondering if anyone has any tips or advice that would be helpful.

Hmmm...

As a Christian myself, I work to find parallels, not differences between Jediism and Christianity

Do you argue with her as well or is it more of a one sided thing?

I would perhaps try and show her how Christianity and Jediism are compatible... as Ros said, find the parallels not the differences. Perhaps she has a misunderstanding of what Jediism is? Only sees the fiction?

My fiance didn't really get it until he met some of the Jedi here and realised how similar we all are.. now he's a member of the forum.

If she's interested in opening a dialogue but you're perhaps finding it hard to explain to her, she's welcome to email me and ask me questions, if she'd like... my email here youth.officer@templeofthejediorder.org

My wife respects what I believe in as long as I don't drag her through it all, but shes athiest at best on her side so there's not really a lot of conflict, she was interested for a little while if nothing else to understand my motives and believes a bit and then left it at that. So I've kinda had it easy. Not sure what will come when I decide to try and start making it to the gatherings

Your wife argues against your beliefs?

I'd suggest it's her who needs to work on being more supportive of you, friend. Plenty of couples have different beliefs, this is not unique to Jediism. So far as I can see a person should respect the beliefs of others, whatever they happen to believe themselves. Even moreso for those they care most about.

I'm with Rosalyn on this one. Jediism is perfectly compatible with (admittedly, somewhat unorthodox or liberal strains of) Christianity. I'm a devout Christian, I teach Sunday school classes and also volunteer in my church's offices. I don't think I can call myself a proper Jedi yet but it's safe to say I consider this an important part of my spirituality as well.

My time here has helped me become a better Christian and overall person. If the samurai-born Toyohiko Kagawa could get the epithet "Christ's Samurai" in his life, then "Christ's Jedi" is a nice ideal for me to aspire to. Therefore, I don't think the two belief systems are incompatible at all. On the contrary, the more thoughtful Christians I know are always studying other religions/philosophies as well as their own.

if i understand you correctly Sven, the issue here is her: she is going to have to decide whether or not she can accept that you (or anyone else for that matter) believe differently from her

many Christians have a sense that "acceping jesus" (particularly, "accepting" jesus in exactly the way that they "accept" jesus) is THE ONLY RIGHT ANSWER and that all other answers are not only factually wrong, but also morally inferior

also, Christians typically believe that hell exists after death and that those who dont believe in jesus are doomed to go there - so even the compassionate and tolerant christians might find themselves very affected by the idea that someone they love is facing that fate

that particular issue is tough, because they either have to accept that the other person is going to go to hell, or they have to accept that hell might not be real

and if hell is not real, everything else they believe is up in the air as well

many find solace in the idea that "god works on his own time" and hold on to their faith that the one they love will come around

but the problem with this is that most of us (the loved ones who reject their interpretation of jesus) probably WONT "come around" - if jesus is all powerful and all knowing and cares so much about me then he would either take a minute to come see me or in other way make himself known, OR, he would not begrudge me for using the intelligence that he gave me - anyway im not going to rattle off the whole argument for/against "jesus"

i can tell you that as an archetype and a symbol and as the embodiement of one of the most profound of human potentials, jesus can be understood as real and valid and holy, and in this way i can say that i myself am christian

this sort of thing could work for you too - IF your wife is content to let you believe in a way that makes sense to you

but this interpretation is not the same interpretation she is going by, and few christians who accept the literal interpretation are open to the "archetypial" interpretation

it might be a good place to start on your side of things - but again,ultimately, she has to face the idea that you may not believe as she believes, and shes going to have to decide if she will, or CAN, accept that or not

all i can say is that i hope this works out to your, and her, long term benefit

My wife is closed off to it completely because anything outside of Christianity is heresy to her. Myself, I attend church, I was a former ULC Licensed Minister and had my own small church at one point.I am very open and willing to listen to her but, she's unwilling to listen anymore calling it a fantasy religion for starwars fans and I need to grow up. She made me go talk with the Pastor there and he pretty much poked fun of me the whole time. Still, I go to his church and am respectful of him. I have asked her nicely to go check it out and she looked at TOTJO and read everything and was very upset about what she read. One thing she did say that was good was she said it's well thought through and seems everyone was geninuine and Br. John seemed very sincere with his beliefs. But, we got to the point where we just don't talk about it. If it's brought up it starts an argument.

i am curious what sort of feedback she herself gets from the Pastor

as i understand it, he should be very sincere about resolving this in a way that is healthy for your marriage

but thats not necessarily the reality in a lotof churches - what do you think of him?

in any event, i think youre going to need outside help, such as a pastor she would respect or, even better imo, a marriage counsellor

this is quite serious - this sort of thing can ruin a marriage if its ignored for too long

it can also cause pretty serious problems if its pushed too quickly or forcefully

again, i think in your case that finding some intermediary (or two) who you both trust and respect is the best course of action

actually i dont think you have a choice if you want to save your marriage

---
EDIT
and "her sister" or something isnt going to cut it, i think you need to find someone with some training or at least a lot of experience in helping couples get through tough issues

Trying to blame this solely on the wife without knowing the entire story (which you will never get as an outsider) is a bit arrogant in my opinion.

When there is a strain on a relationship the blame goes both ways.

She should not have to change her views or even understand your own. If she doesn't understand, and doesn't wish to understand. You should not force her to.

Should she respect that your views are different and love you for it anyways? Yes, Absolutely. But Respecting one's beliefs does not require an understanding of it. Heck, I don't understand some of the passions my husband has, but I respect him for it. It's what makes him the great man that he is. Even if it is a bit obsessive

If she is however willing to learn YOU have a responsability to know what it is your preaching. Do YOU truly understand the path your presenting to her? How are you presenting it? How are you wording it? And...most importantly...Why are you so attached to the word "Jedi" that you have to use it when representing your beliefs?

When you take away the word "Jedi" and simply use the doctrines and methodologies as a spiritual context, you will find that your own path runs side by side with your wife. Not seperate.

YOU should try to relate to her and show her by example how your path is the same, you simply prefer to use different trappings.

Just my thoughts. *shrugs*