Will I learn to control my emotions?

While studying Jediism/to become a Jedi, will I learn to control my emotions? I try so hard, and I have greatly improved from the past, but I still get outbursts of anger at times. I know it is normal to feel emotion, but I dislike the way it takes hold of me at times. Someone bothers me just a little too much and I snap, then both I and the person feel bad. I don't like doing that. I also see things at work and society that just make me sad, this past week I seen very poor parenting skills, and at work (work in the medical field) a mentally handicaped person came in due to rape. I was appalled and felt incredible hate towards the people that did these bad things. Of course it is upsetting, but the way I felt was beyond what a lot would have in some cases. I want to be able to stop that, so I can stay in control and keep calm. I can't help anyone or myself with these feelings. Will I be helped?

Hay hunny, your in a very demanding profession and your emotions are no different than anyone else wopuld feel. Rape is an outragious act, feeling the victom feeling degraded and worthless. Trust me I've been raped three times in my life time. The first was when I was only seven.

The fact that you are able to talk and decuss how you feel and the reasons behind your emotions shows that you have already began to face your demons. Your are more in control than your probably realise. Your path of total control, has already begun.

Yes, it is a very terrible act indeed. I am sorry you had to go through it. I can understand myself being upset about hearing of such acts as that. And I know that it is good that I acknowledge that I have a problem with some of my issues. But I've been at a standstill now on the control.

I admit that I have gotten better on some things like road rage for example. I used to give everyone \"the finger\" who was going too slow, cut me off, etc. But I used logic and asked myself, \"Is that going to do any good? Will getting angry make them suddenly change their ways? Is it going to change the past?\" I knew the answer to all that was \"no\". I guess I can apply that logic to other things. I've been trying, but it is kind of been lacking lately.

I guess more than anything, I need to learn to let go of the past. Because some, or a lot, of it stems to things that have happened then.

Thank you for the words, it got me to thinking about it and helped me to rationalize it some.

control of your emotions is something that will take time, and effort...if you didn't have them, you wouldn't be human, but being human also means that we have the ability to gain control in time...personally i wouldn't fault anyone for being angry over someone getting raped...especially someone that's mentally incapable of fighting back...

one trick to gaining control is breathing.....simple but effective....inhale through your nose slowly and deeply, hold it for 3 seconds then exhale through your mouth slowly...sometimes adding the words f...k it as you exhale helps(but only if your old enough, and try not to say it loudly)....asking yourself if getting mad will change anything is a good step. once it's realized that anger won't change anything and in fact often further complicates things it gets easier to simply let things go...eventually you become unflappable/indifferent...in the end feeling emotions is perfectly fine, as long as we don't let them control our actions.

Thanks, I will try that.

And LOL, I'm 25, so yeah I'm old enough to say it.

And to add, remember, there is not any one answer.... you will find what works for you if you really look for it.... keep reading, listening and talking to the members here, we are all here to help one another...

Even if it seems you have everything under control, still you must practice control, for getting too comfortable, and failing to practice the control will take you right back to where you started...

Sorta like \"If you don't use it, you'll lose it\"....

I too am an Initiate, and learning much. When it comes to controlling my emotions, the simple thought of my training is there to calm and center me. If you find your emotions are taking over, recite the first line of the code, \"Emotion, yet Peace\" or, \"There is no Emotion, There is Peace\". When you begin to rise above your anger, you feel great. And remember, \"anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering\". Hate not those that commit atrocious acts, but seek to instruct them and teach them. For they act in ignorance and there is NO Ignorance, there is Knowledge. I shouldn't be trying to teach, I know, as I'm not even an apprentice, but this is just my opinion.

Here at TOTJO we welcome everyone's opinions even if (and especially if) we don't agree with them. Healthy debate is the lifeblood of a quest for wisdom and understanding, as long as it doesn't descend into an attack against individuals. It doesn't matter if you're a Grandmaster or a new member, we can all learn from everyone!

Well said Br. Mark....

Lessons can come from the strangest and oddest of places.... Books, friends family, strangers, children, school-of-hard-knocks....

Controling of emotions, will come from the practice of the controling of emotions... not from any one source....

Repeating a mantra, such as the beginning of The Code is one way...

I use another, I, (try to), think, before I speak... thereby looking at my words and actions as if from another person, (does this make sense?), and gauging what my response would be to my own comments... were they said by another...

Either way, from a neutral POV, there is a pause in actual time, allowing for immediate emotions to pass, much like counting to 10...

Just more thoughts to chew on...

I have a temper at times. Recently I have been thinking that it is the dark side that is seducing me in these times. So in thinking that I am being manipulated in this way it helps me to be patient and sit on these emotions when I am feeling particularly wrathful.

I had forgotten about this thread...

And I see I've answered already....

But when I read the title, and thought...

Will you learn to tap dance?

Only with practice....

Brian wrote: I have a temper at times. Recently I have been thinking that it is the dark side that is seducing me in these times. So in thinking that I am being manipulated in this way it helps me to be patient and sit on these emotions when I am feeling particularly wrathful.

Even for The Dark Side there's only so many hours in a day. With it possessing 99% of the Republican party and trying to get Rick Perry nominated for president I doubt it has much time to spend making either you or I loose our tempers.

That's my Dark Side humor for the day so now let's help with your question.

The notion of your emotions getting the best of you is a vivid hallucination. The emotions are as much you as the I that loses to them is. You're actually arm wrestling with yourself - the right arm fighting the left arm.

Will you learn to control your emotions? I don't know. Can you learn to control your emotions? Yes.

What about stress? How to cope with it?
I had a simple situation today. Introduce yourself and your opinion on few things in front of the completely new classmates. I thought it will be something simple. But when I stood there my heart was beating so loud I could hear it, my palms were completely wet and I had this nervous smile-tic. Of course it didn't go as planned. I had some free time before the class so I tried meditating, but it didn't help.
Has any of you had such experiences? How to achieve serenity in moments like this?

Tseen Keh wrote: What about stress? How to cope with it?

Stress usually seems to be a function of time and its at its highest when either a person is unprepared or without available time to complete a task. I would say there might have been a good amount of fear in your reaction which can be resolved with practise ie; facing your fears. Fearful reactions to the unknown are usually a good thing to an extent.

Stress is much harder to combat because it usually involves external demands which limit your capacity to control your time effectively. So prior planning, preperations, procedures and practise are good methods to combat stress when it develops.

Tseen Keh wrote: I had a simple situation today. Introduce yourself and your opinion on few things in front of the completely new classmates. I thought it will be something simple. But when I stood there my heart was beating so loud I could hear it, my palms were completely wet and I had this nervous smile-tic. Of course it didn't go as planned. I had some free time before the class so I tried meditating, but it didn't help.

See you've actually asked two questions, one how to combat public speaking nerves and two, how to combat nerves to unusual circumstances. To solve the first practise it will do, but to solve the second might be counterproductive because the increased heartbeat etc is your body getting ready to handle what ever is causing the anxiety to begin with.

Tseen Keh wrote: How to achieve serenity in moments like this?

I dont know about serenity, but perhaps tell yourself that you are the subject matter expert in the room and then instead of viewing the audience as judges, you view them as students. Pretend your the teacher while your up there, though be happy and remember your talking to their minds, not their faces or reactions. If you have to take a moment to sort yourself out then consider it a strategic pause to allow your message to sink into their minds rather then a fumbling moment. Obviously you might not be the subject matter expert but its just an avenue to approach public speaking from a position of confidence.