That's So Metta
by Atticus
For the past few weeks, I've been teaching an introductry meditation class for my local community ed program. I started my students off with the easiest technique I know, following your breath, and then gradually introduced a few other things that they could incorporate into their own practices.
This week, I plan to conclude the class by teaching them one of the most difficult techniques I know -- well, the technique itself is not so difficult, but for many people, the application of the technique can be. So I thought I would share it here as well.
This is an adaptation of a classic practice called metta, which is often translated as loving-kindness meditation. I find it to be a practice that helps open my heart to others and deal with irritations. If you choose to try it, I hope you find it helpful as well.
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Begin in any meditation posture you choose: standing, sitting, kneeling, lying, etc. Relax into the position, loosening any areas of tension you may feel in your body as you do. Take a minute or two to rest your attention on your breath. If your monkey mind wants to bring other thoughts or feelings to your attention, acknowledge them without judgment, but then dismiss them gently and return your attention to your breath.
Now, allow your attention to turn to recall someone who showed you unconditional love as a child. For some of us, it may be a parent or grandparent, but for others, those relationships can be associated with complicated emotions, so pick someone who does not raise those difficult associations. Allow yourself to fully experience that feeling of being loved without reservation. Allow it to fill you completely. Take your time, and become intimately familiar with the sensations that arise.
When you are ready, direct that feeling of being loved without reservation to someone for whom you feel some positive sentiment, like gratitude or respect. Take a minute or two to experience the sensation of transmitting love in whatever way feels right for you.
Next, direct those feelings of unconditional love to someone who you perceive needs support and kindness. It may be someone who is experiencing grief, or someone who is walking through difficult life circumstances. Again, take a minute or two and become familiar with how it feels to you to project these sensations of unconditional love to another person for whom you may not have any strong feelings.
Then, turn your attention to someone who may have annoyed or irritated you recently. Don't dwell on their conduct; don't analyze how they made you feel or why it occurred. Just allow your thoughts to rest lightly on that person, and direct your feelings of love and kindness toward them, just as you have done with people you find it easier to hold love for. Don't hold back. When you do this, you might experience uncomfortable feelings at the same time: you might feel again the negative sensations that person engendered in you, for example, or you might replay some inciting incident in your mind. This is normal; it's one way that you process negative emotions in meditation. Just as you did before, acknowledge the feelings that arise, but then release them fully and return your full attention to extending unconditional love to that person.
Finally, wrap yourself in your unconditional love. Let it suffuse your entire being. Extend yourself all the forgiveness that you possess. Acknowledge and then let go of any negative feelings you might harbor toward yourself.
When you are ready, consciously release all of this unconditional love into the Force, and return your attention to your breath for a few moments before closing your meditation in any manner that feels right to you in the moment.
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This is the most powerful technique I know to open your heart and sanctify your relationships with others. When you have become experienced in this practice, you may find that you are able to slip into these sensations during any mindful moment. Use this as a way to reply directly to even the smallest kindnesses shown to you during your day. If a stranger holds a door open for you, you can wrap them in loving-kindness in the time it takes to say thank you. With just a little practice, you can use this technique even in moments of annoyance or mild anger.
May you be at peace and live in love.
