In Defense of Feelings
In this age of texting and computer screens, it’s easier than ever to hide our true feelings. We can carefully plan out what we want to say and how we say it in order to project the persona that we believe is the most flattering: cool, collected, confident, and intelligent. Many of us, especially Jedi, are taught that feelings ought to be controlled:
There is no emotion, there is Peace
In the TotJO forums, we see this at work on a daily basis - people rising above their emotion and focusing on fact and logic.
But at what cost?
We spend our lives being told “Big kids don’t cry” “Men don’t talk about feelings” “Emotion has no place in rational discussion” “That’s just your hormones talking.” Why? Because feelings make us uncomfortable. They show us, often dramatically, that we care about something or someone. How many times have you texted through tears because you didn’t want to cry in front of someone? Or ignored someone rather than addressing a sensitive issue?
Caring means vulnerability. It means pain, suffering, loss, and difficulty. Nobody wants to suffer, so we pretend not to care. We put up a wall of logic or confidence so that we can become invulnerable to feelings.
Here’s where it gets tricky: when we become invulnerable to our own feelings, we become invulnerable to the feelings of others. Our compassion and empathy is atrophied. We become so focused on building our own walls of calm, cool, and collected, and maintaining it at all costs, that we become blind to the emotional needs of others. I’m sure you’ve seen time and again, both in your life and in the TotJO forums, instances where a person was so focused on being logical, factual and correct that they ignored (our couldn’t see) the fact that they were hurting someone’s feelings.
Feelings have an important role in our lives. They’re what allow us to be compassionate towards the suffering of others. They make us kind and responsive. Yes, they can also cause immeasurable pain and humiliation, but that pain unites us through compassion.
Having emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant, is a normal human response to what happens to us in our lives. It’s okay to have feelings. It’s healthy to express your feelings. But it’s also crucial to consider the feelings of others. This is the foundation of compassion.
Peace, from Emotion.
Find your peace, harmony and compassion through emotion, not despite it.
