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In Defense of Feelings

 

In this age of texting and computer screens, it’s easier than ever to hide our true feelings. We can carefully plan out what we want to say and how we say it in order to project the persona that we believe is the most flattering: cool, collected, confident, and intelligent. Many of us, especially Jedi, are taught that feelings ought to be controlled:

 

There is no emotion, there is Peace

 

In the TotJO forums, we see this at work on a daily basis - people rising above their emotion and focusing on fact and logic.

 

But at what cost?

 

We spend our lives being told “Big kids don’t cry” “Men don’t talk about feelings” “Emotion has no place in rational discussion” “That’s just your hormones talking.” Why? Because feelings make us uncomfortable. They show us, often dramatically, that we care about something or someone. How many times have you texted through tears because you didn’t want to cry in front of someone? Or ignored someone rather than addressing a sensitive issue?

 

Caring means vulnerability. It means pain, suffering, loss, and difficulty. Nobody wants to suffer, so we pretend not to care. We put up a wall of logic or confidence so that we can become invulnerable to feelings.

 

Here’s where it gets tricky: when we become invulnerable to our own feelings, we become invulnerable to the feelings of others. Our compassion and empathy is atrophied. We become so focused on building our own walls of calm, cool, and collected, and maintaining it at all costs, that we become blind to the emotional needs of others. I’m sure you’ve seen time and again, both in your life and in the TotJO forums, instances where a person was so focused on being logical, factual and correct that they ignored (our couldn’t see) the fact that they were hurting someone’s feelings.

 

Feelings have an important role in our lives. They’re what allow us to be compassionate towards the suffering of others. They make us kind and responsive. Yes, they can also cause immeasurable pain and humiliation, but that pain unites us through compassion.

 

Having emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant, is a normal human response to what happens to us in our lives. It’s okay to have feelings. It’s healthy to express your feelings. But it’s also crucial to consider the feelings of others. This is the foundation of compassion.  

 

Peace, from Emotion.


Find your peace, harmony and compassion through emotion, not despite it.

Comments 12

  1. Atticus
    Beautifully said, and an important message. Thank you, Leah.
  2. Jack.Troutman
    Beautiful Leah. Humans are equipped with emotions for a reason, they can sometimes give us focus and other times they can throw us way out of focus. Emotions are tricky, yet I believe very necessary. Great sermon, thank you! Force be with you friend!
  3. Carlos.Martinez3
    Thank u so much, keep up the great work!
  4. Steven Hay
    An excellent reminder, Leah. Thank you :-)
  5. tzb
    Excellent message, eloquently spoken. Thank you, Leah :)
  6. Serenity Amyntas
    Very nice , we can only truly love others when we love ourselves , and the same goes for empathy :)
  7. Leah Starspectre
    Thank you everyone! :D I really enjoyed writing it!
  8. Patty Summers
    This was excellent Leah, thank you for sharing your thoughts!
  9. Charisa
    Emotions are important. Being at peace isn't so much repressing them, but listening to them. Anger is a great example - it's a signal, a sign that something isn't right and should be dealt with... not something to fear or ignore at the cost of anything. Repressed anger often becomes rage... and rage is what does the real harm when we're talking about anger being a negative. Glad you shared this.
  10. MarkDykes
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