Rant

Since we don't have a place to rant i decided that i will rant here. Now what i am going to be talking about it not totally any of my business but when friends who are like family have trouble i just can't hold my tongue forever, i wanted to tell someone, i mean i know that none of you guys know who i am talking about so i feel safer here. Anyway, let me give you a little bit of a background to the situation at hand.

I have a friend who was married for a number of years but her husband passed aways within the past year. Well, her sexual life was lacking so she sort of looked around but unfortunately the only one she could trust and who was there was her husbands nephew, so i think you can get the hint from there. He was in his teens and you know the old saying, young dumb and full of ... So that had gone on for a number of years. this past year he managed to get a job once his uncle passed and she never quit. Well, he has met someone and has been saying for a very long time now that what they have been doing is wrong, but she just doesn't want to stop, she has been acting like a teenage girl with a crush, and it has been getting on all of our nerves, when he announced that he had a girlfriend she found her number on his cell phone and text her, while he was asleep, and his girlfriend knew he was asleep. But she texted (i know bad spelling lol)her about wanting to break up and not wanting to be together. That is how it started, since then she doesn't like her at all, she gives her bad looks and won't even try to get to know her nephews girlfriend and i have spoke to her about it and done the whole Jedi thing and tried to be encouraging while trying to convince her that things were changing but change isn't bad. Well, she didn't lighten up and had continued to hang on him and try to get in his pants. But now, she has taken it another step further, she actually typed a letter and dropped it off in his girlfriends mail box (she lives with her parents), the problem with that is her parents speak english but most of the people they know don't or at least don't speak english with them. So there is only one person who has all the information to have done this. And honestly she has gotten on everyones last nerve including mine. So her nephew is moving out, the friend that watches her boys is fed up so he is going to go live with his uncle soon, and that is going to leave her all by herself, and whereas i am upset about this, i actually have been thinking that she deserves it. And i just hope that i have the self restraint not to slap her the second i see her. No, i know i won't, i have only raised my hand to anyone once and i have felt guilty ever since. I am at the place right that i don't know how to handle this. it really sucks. On top of that it is my opinion that she is not a fit parent with or without her son and friend helping with her other children. Their teeth are rotting out, spending time to her is sitting on the computer playing video games while her kids watch. So my fiancee is seriously considering calling CPS shortly after the two guys leave. I can't stop anyone and i really don't want her to have the kids if someone we trust isn't there. She needs parenting classes and help, serious help, but refuses to admit it. So any advice would be great for myself or for any of the friends involved.

April

Well, when children are involved, they should be the first to be taken care of, by whatever means necessary. Either bring them into your home or call the kiddie police. Secondly, this may just be how she \"deals\" with the pain of loss. But that is not an excuse for attempting to ruin the nephew's life or the life of his new girlfriend. As soon as he is able, he either needs to move away or get a restraining order for himself and his girlfriend and her family. Other than that, just continue to pray for her and the obvious psychological battle she is involved in.

wow. sounds like things are going haywire there.
my 2 cents as a father is the safety and growth of the children are of the utmost important. i would very much suggest making some discrete calls. the do keep you anonymous. if nothing changes reach out to the children yourself and do what you can for them- become a good role model and plant yourself deep in their lives.
children are the single most important thing in our world and our future.
MTFBWY
you'll do what is right and best.

Luckily enough, aside from their mother/aunt, they trully do have some very good role models, one of their other aunts, the friend that is watching them is attempting to raise them better, he doesn't let them get away with everything and he doesn't spoil them. My fiancee and myself go over there very often and they trully do have a large amount of people who care about them, in the end though, it is only their mother/aunt, that is watching them that is the problem. And if things do get worse, i will be calling someone, my fiancee is much more easy to anger and as soon as we realized that the oldest was leaving, he wanted to get the boys away from there as quickly as possible but luckily everyone convinced him to wait. Something i hadn't mentioned before is that CPS has been called over there a number of times over the time that i have known them. They have been given a slap on the wrist and told to straighten things up and put food in the house, when they came back the house was cleaner, and food was in the frig but it doesn't stay that way for long. Something i just found out also, is that the oldest of the little ones went with my fiancee, myself, and the friend that watches them, to look for some shirts or shoes for myself, and when we stopped in Jack in the Box to get something to drink he told us that he was hungry and that all he had to eat was a candy bar all day, well needless to say even i can't be patient forever. but we bought something for him and went on back. I am pretty sure she got chewed out. Well, there is the new news.

keep on them. the CPS will only respond a couple of times before they just throw them in jail.
in other words if you keep calling they keep going.
MTFBWY you will do whats right and best in the end, i promise.

I spoke with the boys baby sitter and he let me know very seriously that he will not let the house get that bad as long as he lives there. The boys mother is going to be comming down for a visit with her other two children, the boys brother and sister, and if she decides to stay he will be moving out and then we will see what happens, so until then i will not be calling anyone. Thank you for the advice, you have encouraged me to do what is right for the children and i will if i feel it is needed, thank you.