This thread discusses the Content article:
The New Guy
Br. James,
i am amazed at your courage to even speak of this again. on a few occasions i have posted on the topic of \"why must we kill\", and whether its due to mental disorder or superior officers orders, it leaves a stain on the soul that is most difficult to deal with while in the same flesh wherin these things occurred. what is most important is that your mind and soul come to grips with this. what it takes to do this differs from person to person. if i may offer a few humble suggestions, the Vetrans Administration do have councilors to help with the trauma and as they are not staffed as well as we would like, there should be someone there that can help. also the fact that you recieved a medal for this can be weighing heavily on your consciousness, and even though it would be hard to do this, perhaps dialog with appropriate officials to retun the medal, \"for personel reasons\" so the details would not have to be on record at the military. perhaps after a few of these steps are taken, the faces will fade as your mind sees your physical body trying to make reperations and repent for the inocents that were involved. i also wish to say how sorry i am that things like this happen to good people, both are essencially victums, and the burden is placed on those that survive. look in your heart and in your soul. did the celebration afterwards really bring you happiness, fulfillment? i doubt it if it did. more than likely you just went along with your military brethren as to not stand out but i can see in your post, it weighs heavily on your soul. if you would like to pm me plz feel free.
