Warning!: this post has some strong language in it(The F-word), if you don't like strong language, get over it.
but: if you have that much of a hang-up on a few words that you consider \"vulgar\" because the FCC won't grow up and realize that no word has the power to corrupt you simply by hearing or speaking it, and the belief that there is such a word is nothing more than primitive foolish superstition
than I pity you and hope sincerely that you learn to get past such ass-backwards thinking, and advise you not to read this,though you are missing out a great deal
This Morning I had a very life changing experiancing. I had got up to a breakfast of a ham, mozarrella cheese brushcetta sandwhich(absoulutly fantastic, by the way, I should teach you all how to make them)
and a cup of strong coffee, with lots of sugar and milk (by the way, don't buy Folgers, It's overpriced and tastes like burnt wood and I'm not sure It's 100% arabica) and I went out on my front porch to meditate. I was having a hard time starting because of the caffeine. well, I managed to clear my mind and sit still, and when I came to, I sat and contemplated myself a bit, I had a dream where I had fallen in love and I awoke very sad, because it was only a dream, I began thinking about how I am alone in life, and how I wish I had more money and was in better shape, and then I stopped. \"why do I want these things?\" I asked myself, and at that moment, I knew the answer.... I didn't. I felt no desire for anything, at all. I suddenly felt my heart palpatating,as a result of the caffeine, and I got scared. because I felt like I was about to die, and I was terrified. and then.... I wasn't , I realized that I have nothing to fear. I let go, and I laid back and accepted my fate. and then, I was still alive, and I felt.. peaceful, and I opened my eyes and held my hand up, and looked at it. and around my hand, against the blue of the sky, I saw emanating from my hand: a golden glow, a radiance, exactly the same as the halos you see surrounding paintings of saints in medieval art. I looked at the sky and in the air were swirling streams, flowing lines of air, (kind of like seeing heat radiation on a hot day, but it was actually quite cool) and I noticed that the glow was covering plants and animals all around me, and there was a faint glow coming from anything made of wood.
I realized that I was seeing the on these things the aura of life, and in the air, the eddies and currents, the ebb and flow of The Force. I went inside and then I talked to my brother a bit, I told him that I was scared again, that I was afraid of losing my identity by continuing on my path of enlightenment, and he said to me \"Joseph, that's just your own natural self-consciousness being afraid of your ego losing itself, fuck it man! all that's gonna happen is you'll get a wider perspective on things, you'll still be the same guy, won't you?\" and I decided then and there:
\"Fuck It!Fuck It,man !\" what could I possibly lose! I felt liberated, I felt free, free of worries, free of fear, free of needs, now I still want things, but only for pratical reasons, I want to fall in love because I want to have that experiance in life, I want to have more money so I have less to worry about, and have more chances to learn. I speak less often, and don't voice every little thought in my head.
you see, my point is that you don't have anything to lose by letting go of your ego. and the best way to do it, is to throw caution to the wind and say \"fuck it!\" and not care, you'll get scared! your ego doesn't want to be let go of, but you have to do it.
I feel better for it, and I think anyone else who lets go will feel better too.
May The Force Be With You
