Jedi Torebaa and the Leviathan dragon

This began when I separated myself from my disorder that I see as my darkness incarnate. When I separated myself from it by changing my perception of it to a separate entity I began to see a reoccurring monster in my dreams. This monster was a combination of an eastern dragon, a eel, and a sea serpent. In every dream
It’s intention was to consume me. I could sense only barely what this Leviathan dragon actually was and I suspected it was my disorder/dark side in a physical form. There were 6 encounters with the beast and they were all located in an ocean like void. The first in a void where there were floating runes of castle like structures. I hid among the runes but I saw the leviathan dragon looking for me. The second I was rowing in a boat and the boat flipped over and in the water I could see the Leviathan dragon coming for me swimming fast. I woke myself before it reached me. The third I was floating in and ocean like void and from under me from a deep dark pit like the blue hole the leviathan dragon swam out and up to consume me but I woke before it could. The forth time was different. It wasn’t a dream this time. While I was doing my daily meditation. I closed my eyes and fall into a relaxing state then my mind went to a deeper inward place and I saw the monster up close it opened its gargantuan mouth with huge long teeth and lunged at me it broke my meditation focus and I jumped back in pure terror hitting myself in the back and head against the wall behind me. The next time I would face this beast would be with a little help. I went on the Jedi discord seeking help. I asked “has anyone have any experience with dreams and understanding them”. Several Jedi spoke up to help asking different questions about my situation. River made a suggestion that made all the difference. River said that I should do a visualization meditation session and attempt to speak with the leviathan dragon. So I tried it. I sat down on my meditation cushion took a deep breath and closed my eyes. First in my mind I created a safe place in the void. I visualized a floating land mass with a Jedi temple on top protected but force field like barriers. On top of the temple I sat meditating on a slightly raised stone circle. I took a deep breath and I called for the leviathan dragon. The leviathan dragon began to manifest and then suddenly hit hard the force Barrier with its claws and starred into my soul. We locked eyes and I could see an evil within its piercing yellow eel eyes. Fear bursted into my heart and broke my meditation focus again throwing me back against the wall. I took a break before trying again. This was the last time I was going to face this monster so I took a moment to call on the force by praying for courage, strength, and protection. With that I went back into the meditation session. This time the leviathan dragon kept its distance. I asked now knowing what it was by looking into its eyes “why do you wish to consume me” it spoke in a deep growling voice “ because I wish to be the only one in control” and I realized if this is my darkness and it sees me as the light I need to achieve balance with it. I noticed that my temple was emulating light and in my life I’ve been in a good positive place as a Jedi. I represent the light in this situation. The force then spoke to me and told me if I slay this beast then I myself will be destroyed and if it consumes me it will also be destroyed. So I then explained it to the leviathan dragon and it agreed not to consume me. From there I became stuck I didn’t know what to do. Then I thought deeper and began to understand. The pit the blue hole looking thing the leviathan dragon came from must represent the pit we all go to when we become depressed. The void represents depression, anger, pain, darkness, negative, bad and the temples light represents good, light, love, joy, and positive. The leviathan dragon represents dark me in the void, and me the Jedi meditating on top of the temple represents light me. And what I needed to do was lower the Barrier and allow passage of dark me into the light without being slain and light me into the void of darkness without being consumed by dark me for the purpose of understanding and growth because the reason all this happened is because I denied the negative me In favor of the light which knocked me out of balance. And so I lowered the Barrier and the leviathan dragon flew past me into the light swirling between the dark and the light and I now have passage into the darkness the void without being consumed. and that’s how I achieved balance by literally my psyche making me.

This is an impressive piece of self- work you did, and I know itbrequired a lot of courage. I'm glad that you were able to come to a place of balance. Thank you for sharing the experience.