How easily are you able to forgive

More
13 Sep 2019 07:38 #343589 by Tellahane
I think its directly correlated from not how easy it is to forgive, but how easy it is for you to be hurt. The better your mindset in terms of not letting things hurt you by understanding, the less damage, and the ease of forgiving.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Reliah, Kobos

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
14 Sep 2019 17:55 - 14 Sep 2019 17:56 #343623 by Kohadre
Forgive, or forget?

To forgive someone who has insulted or otherwise brought harm into my life, is actually very easy for me. My reasoning is that giving energy towards holding a grudge, or resentment is only going to amplify the original offense in question. By harboring that kind of anger/resentment, I am giving them more power; by allowing them to continue hurting me.

So I let that go, usually within the course of a couple hours. I think as I get older, it's easier to forgive because I have more life experience to reflect on; and the "crimes" in comparison really aren't as grievous as I would see them in my youth. With that wisdom, also comes the ability to let many things "slide", such as casual insults or minor offenses made by coworkers, peers, etc. In most cases, I've actually found the ability to turn such things into a tongue-and-cheek banter; then poking fun through insult back in turn.

Taking things less seriously, means that I don't get offended as easily.

However...

To forget is something I find to be foolishly unwise, because you are opening yourself up to future harm by choosing to willfully ignore the lesson that said offense presented. For example, you lent a family member money and they never paid you back; you decide to give an abusive spouse/partner a second chance; you continue to put yourself in environments or around peers that you know are not a good fit for your beliefs/personality.

Another example would be hanging out with a group of kids who don't particularly like you too much (for whatever reason). Maybe it's your clothes, the toys (or lack of toys) you have, or possibly your ethnicity. So they decide to pick on you / beat you up /etc.

They were in the wrong, you go through the process of telling mom/dad; they contact other parents, apologies are arranged, and all that good stuff in an ideal scenario. You forgive them, they go through punishments (if given); life goes on.

A few weeks later, you see them out playing again; you figure they've learned their lesson and things are all good now. So you run over, try to play with the group; and they beat you up again.

Who's fault was that, really? You chose to forgive, but also to forget and remain ignorant of the reality; being that particular group didn't want to interact with or include you. So again, you go and force yourself into their activities; recreating the same sequence of variables that led to confrontation the last time.

By forgetting, you open yourself up to make the same mistakes in the future.

Remember the doctrine; embody the code.
Live the creed; embrace the 16 teachings.
Honor your vows.
Last edit: 14 Sep 2019 17:56 by Kohadre. Reason: grammar error
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kobos

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
14 Sep 2019 20:15 #343628 by Kit
Hahaha there's an old saying: "men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget"
The following user(s) said Thank You: Kobos

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: KobosBrick