For my Nan, dog and friend

  • shadowmere
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04 Jun 2012 16:38 #62655 by shadowmere
For my Nan, dog and friend was created by shadowmere
I lost my nan to cancer in 2008 which left me very sad. i cared for her dog but two days before my birthday she died as i was singing in the shower(i didn't know i was that bad). she was my friend and i loved her. she had suffered for months before but i had hoped that she could have stayed for my birthday, even if she died as i was eating cake. my friend at school, my only friend, died aged 9 to cancer after battling it for years. i dont know much about cancer and about death but if anyone has suffered as much as i have then please say so. it would make me feel a lot better to know im not the only one who has(on this site)

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  • Phortis Nespin
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04 Jun 2012 21:22 #62686 by Phortis Nespin
Replied by Phortis Nespin on topic For my Nan, dog and friend
Shadowmere,

First off let me say how sorry I am for your grief. In our lives we will face life and death so many times because life is death. In my life I have had friends die of cancer, leukemia, drugs, and natural causes. No death is easy to deal with if you are unprepared for it, or you have not accepted death as the inevitable result of life.

In your studies here you will see that Joseph Campbell and Alan Watts talk of this duality. Good infers Bad, right infers wrong, and so Life infer Death. In reading the teachings of Buddha we also see this understanding of the inevitability of death. We as humans and more so as Jedi, must see death as the beginning of our transformation back to the Living Force.

If you are Christian you should understand the Resurrection and eternal life with God. If these are your beliefs, than celebrate the lives of those that have left us, for they are now with God living a life without suffering. The Force of creation has them near and their light was not extinguished. As for us left behind, live your life free from worry about death because you cannot outrun it. All you can do is be thankful the Force is there to greet your immortal consciousness at the passing of your host physical being.

May the Force Be With You and guide you to peace of mind.

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  • Kimla Daalm
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05 Jun 2012 12:19 #62749 by Kimla Daalm
Replied by Kimla Daalm on topic For my Nan, dog and friend
Shadowmere,

I am so sorry for your losses. I am sure your beloved, tried to hang on for as long as she could, and was comforted by the sound of your voice as she passed on.

You asked to hear from others who have suffered losses as you have.
I have had losses much like yours, and they always hurt, and I know it is lame, but, in time although they will still bring tears to your eyes, the memories are easier. I still tear up occassionally when I think of my little dog that passed away when I was 16, and that was 35 years ago. Now, mostly, when I think of her I laugh remembering the silly little things she did. My Gran passed when I was 10, I didn't think I would get over it. It was the first death I remember dealing with, it was difficult, none of my friends had any experience with it, it was a lonely feeling. I have had friends die, due to illness, accidents, and in combat, there is no easy way to lose a friend, and it will make you sad, until you can remember the good. It is hard... but you MUST remember the good.

My heart tells me that Phortis saying "death being the inevitable result of life" is true for the Jedi, and perfectly logical. He is very wise and reassuring. Sometimes it takes a couple of days to get to logical.

Deep breaths, one foot in front of the other...and know you are never alone, the Force is with you to guide you and comfort you. :)

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  • shadowmere
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05 Jun 2012 12:29 #62752 by shadowmere
Replied by shadowmere on topic For my Nan, dog and friend
thanks for your kind words

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05 Jun 2012 12:39 - 05 Jun 2012 13:21 #62753 by Proteus
Replied by Proteus on topic For my Nan, dog and friend
Shadow, I give you my deepest condolences about your lost ones. I empathize as I have had my own losses throughout mine as well.

My father died of lymphoma cancer when I was 15. He was my best friend and my mentor as a teenager and what he taught me back then is the foundation of the majority of what I am able to help inspire in others.

In 2006, 7 months after my daughter was born, my fiance was killed in a car accident while driving back from a friends house. This completely changed my life, in the midst of my way of life already changing just to be the best father I could be after our daughter's birth. I'm just happy that my direction with becoming a father was positive, and so played a big role in keeping my head above water after my fiance's death.

This is one thing I advise to you. Just as Phortis said, you may face much death through your life. It is a normal part of the cycle. Keep in mind that by definition, death means "Change", not "end". Some people choose to deal with death in a negative manner in the long-term. This will cause you suffering as well as do no honor for the one you loved and lost. Every loss can change you in some way but it is up to you to let that change be positive. Out of death, you can create a new source of life within you and others around you, by it. This will make the loss more meaningful than any destructive route one takes because it lives on after they have passed. Carry down any inspirational legacy of the one who passes so that they may live on throughout the future, and in this way, they will still be close to you, even in death. :)

It seems that I know that I know.
What I would like to see is the 'I' that knows me when I know that I know that I know.
- Alan Watts
Last edit: 05 Jun 2012 13:21 by Proteus.
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  • shadowmere
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05 Jun 2012 12:58 #62755 by shadowmere
Replied by shadowmere on topic For my Nan, dog and friend
sorry to hear that proteus. and sorry to hear about all of your incidents. it is a sad subject.

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06 Jun 2012 09:14 #62865 by Br. John
Replied by Br. John on topic For my Nan, dog and friend
There is a sorrow deeper than love, loftier than knowledge, stronger than desire, and more bitter than poverty. It is mute and has no voice; it's eyes glitter like stars.

Founder of The Order
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