I am so confused - a rant.

So this is part rant and part venting.
I am wondering what your experiences with this conundrum is:

When I am instructed to ask questions, I am told I ask to many questions
When I am told "just do it" or "get it done", and I do it, I get yelled at for making mistakes.

I am learning a new trade. I am the new guy. I am the "newbie". I am learning and I welcome instruction. When I ask for instruction, they are toooooo busy, but not busy enough to yell at me for making a mistake that they did not take the time to prevent.

So what do I do?
I become a youtube and google expert and then they tell me to "Fuck off". I even ask a boss if I should research the topic myself and I was told "no".

Do it is the old adage : you are doomed if you do and doomed if you don't.

I try to educate myself, and then I am wrong and trying to prove them wrong
I try to learn from them, and I am taking too much of there time.

So which is it? Am I magically expected to know shit I don't?

I am lost in a world of small, insecure people that want everyone to be smaller than them. They want me to be small and they want to yell at me. They want me to fuck up so they can feel big and yell at me.

If they did not, they would educate me, teach me, honor me for my knowledge, respect my questions, and actually tell me what is happening.

For a lot of these jobs, there are no blue prints, goals, business plans, outlines or summery of anything. its all in the head of the leader who is "unavailable".

For this new job, I was told that I was "Unhireable" due to my inexperience. I respected that. I am inexperienced. But on Sunday, I get a txt to show up at "work" at 8am to work...WHAT? It turns out that the experienced people where unable to show up so they called me - who is always ready and available...for work..in a good way, lol. but now I am getting "yelled at" for my inexperience. WTF (this is the PG way to state this sentiment).

I am new and I want to learn. I want to do the job right, but I don't have the knowledge I need to do it correctly. They can't fire me because no one wants to work for them or in these conditions. Why are they hiring a total nub? Experienced people go where the money is.

So I am here. I am doing the work. but I am tired of being yelled at! fuck.

Have you experienced anything like this?

Just want to start off saying that I'm sorry you're in this situation Baru. I understand what it is like. Both the early stages of my early job and the entirety of my military career resonate with what you seem to be going through.

My advise? Grin and bear it till you make it. It sucks, it really does. It's not easy. But eventually they'll move on and stop doing this to you.

Don't let them see it getting to you. Plaster a smile on your face and don't stoop to their level. Be the better person. Passion, yet Serenity. You can do it.

May the Force be with you, Baru, during this trial.

To some, this might seem obvious, and to those people I suggest they remember a time when they did not know...

I just found out that a 2x4 is not 2x4!
When I am expected to know that? How do I know what I don't know. Who in the world would question that something called 2x4 is not actually 2x4? so 2+2 actually equals 5? WTF?

Why is ignorance punished?

As a manager, I sometimes commit the same mistake your managers are making. I get caught up in my own stuff and neglect people under me who need help or training and have a lot of questions.

Here's some advice from my experience. Be the squeaky wheel. Keep asking questions, even when they tell you they are too busy. Use every channel you have available to communicate your concerns and questions, especially if you can get a written record of it. Nothing gets my attention faster than when I am addressing a mistake by an employee and they show me exactly when they asked me a question about it a week earlier and I ignored them.

Also, learn everything you can while you can from anyone you can. You may only learn a little from this job, but in the next interview, you'll have experience, and everything you can share about what you know will be helpful. It is likely that your competition knows the reputation of your company and if you ever interview with them, they will be understanding about your lack of training. What will impress them is what you DID manage to learn anyway.

Finally, do your best to keep a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity. It is hard as a manager to hate the guy who works hard and does it with enthusiasm even if they are making mistakes.

I know this is a tough situation and I'm sorry they are disrespecting you this way. New opportunities will come soon. This is a test that will prepare you for the future.

thanks for your support.

what happens when the squeaky wheel gets oil or just replaced, lol.

the main issue here is that I am only doing this job for the money. I don't "care" about the work. I don't want to be a master at it, like I am at the things I like. but the things I am good at are not paying right now. When I get off work, I want to spend my time perfecting my craft.

Now I am expected to become my own master? Dang.

I want to spend my time perfecting what I enjoy and I am good at, but it is not paying now. So now I need to learn a totally new craft that I suck at just to pay the bills. that is the challenge. I only require this info for "Now", for this work until I get my new project off the ground. such a distraction.

I find it interesting that all of this is "my fault"! its all my responsibility? why is my manager and my boss off the hook from actually training me or holding this situation?

I feel like the boss is trying to put the failure of this project on me. As long as I am on the project, I can take all of the blame for its failure. I am possibly the great scape goat.

Hi Baru,

I'm sorry you've been caught up in this situation. It's the big education paradox you see at work here. Companies lack the willingness to educate people but at the same time they complain they can't find any educated people when hiring. There are two solutions two the problem: either the people educate themselves (which isn't easy as if you don't get job-specific training, you always run the danger of getting skills that are too general for any kind of specialized application) or the companies start hiring inexperience people and educate them themselves. That means however, that there's an initial cost to building the work force, which many companies shy away from.

Since you have work, I'd follow Arisaig's advice: bear it and grin - for now. I'm a bit worried about what you said about not liking your work, though. This can be a short-term solution (I mean: just working for the money) but it's a recipe for disaster in the long-term. Nothing kills motivation and inspiration more than doing something you don't like 10 hours every day. I know it's easier said than done, but I'd spend the time I'm not working figuring out how I can do something I love doing.

In any case: I wish you the best of luck. Follow your bliss and there might be doors opening where there weren't any before perhaps you'll find a company that actually recognizes your potential and makes the right decision: investing in you so you can do something you love for them.

I recognize the " Damned if i do , damned if i don't "

My advice ? Do it anyway , as a manager myself i know what its like not to be liked so thats not an issue , the issue is that you find the confidence in yourself and learn to discard the BS that the bosses are giving you , you do your best dont you?

As for just working for the money , i have only one thing to say, that , that alone is enough reason not to be content , so , you either stick with it and do your best or try your best to get out and find something more suited for you i can imagine its hard work when you have to specialize in something you are not interested in. I am sorry you have to feel this way and its brave that you reach out to get some answers , you can compare and what is best for you.

baru wrote: So this is part rant and part venting.
I am wondering what your experiences with this conundrum is:

When I am instructed to ask questions, I am told I ask to many questions
When I am told "just do it" or "get it done", and I do it, I get yelled at for making mistakes.

I am learning a new trade. I am the new guy. I am the "newbie". I am learning and I welcome instruction. When I ask for instruction, they are toooooo busy, but not busy enough to yell at me for making a mistake that they did not take the time to prevent.

So what do I do?
I become a youtube and google expert and then they tell me to "Fuck off". I even ask a boss if I should research the topic myself and I was told "no".

Do it is the old adage : you are doomed if you do and doomed if you don't.

I try to educate myself, and then I am wrong and trying to prove them wrong
I try to learn from them, and I am taking too much of there time.

So which is it? Am I magically expected to know shit I don't?

I am lost in a world of small, insecure people that want everyone to be smaller than them. They want me to be small and they want to yell at me. They want me to fuck up so they can feel big and yell at me.

If they did not, they would educate me, teach me, honor me for my knowledge, respect my questions, and actually tell me what is happening.

For a lot of these jobs, there are no blue prints, goals, business plans, outlines or summery of anything. its all in the head of the leader who is "unavailable".

For this new job, I was told that I was "Unhireable" due to my inexperience. I respected that. I am inexperienced. But on Sunday, I get a txt to show up at "work" at 8am to work...WHAT? It turns out that the experienced people where unable to show up so they called me - who is always ready and available...for work..in a good way, lol. but now I am getting "yelled at" for my inexperience. WTF (this is the PG way to state this sentiment).

I am new and I want to learn. I want to do the job right, but I don't have the knowledge I need to do it correctly. They can't fire me because no one wants to work for them or in these conditions. Why are they hiring a total nub? Experienced people go where the money is.

So I am here. I am doing the work. but I am tired of being yelled at! fuck.

Have you experienced anything like this?

yes.
i have. ive worked a lot of blue collar jobs, doing different things in construction and in kitchens,

people in those environments never cared about my "spiritual wisdom" or my "inner light."
theres always some stupid drama going on and theres always a few people around who will push as far as they can get away with pushing- over the edge and into abyss even

i believe in your resilience
i hope things are getting better for you

PM any time

Having spent 20 years in a profession I ended up hating with every part of my being, I can understand your frustration. I have had "managers" berate me and expect expertise without training. 20 years in the HVAC business, from non-union to Union, by the time I was 32 I was depressed, married, a 3yo and one on the way. I would find reasons daily why I could not go to work. IT WAS BAD!

Then I was told a story about my moms cousin who at 32yo quit everything and went to dentist school. He became very successful, had a great practice, and ended up teaching at Loyola School of Dentistry. The story was inspirational. So at 32 I went to paramedic school during times of HVAC layoffs and joined a POC fire department. At 35 I was hired at the department I have been with now almost 23 years and am the happiest I have every been job wise.

I don't know your situation at home and I don't know what your passions are, but I do know this...We Are The Masters Of Our Own Destiny!

I hate to say this and I don't mean to use a movie quote, but regard this carefully..."Your Focus Determines Your Reality". My life experience proved this. Once I changed my focus from making money to taking care of my family in a long term relation, I found the courage to fight for myself and them.

I went from making $27.50 plus benifits in the Union HVAC business in 1992, to $10 an hour as a firefigher in 1993 and then slightly more in 1994. I now make well more than that, BUT I don't think of the money because I LOVE my job.


Sit, Focus, Ask, Engage
Sit or find a place you can think clearly, ALONE! (I love the desert or forest)
Focus on what you want in your life and what is important in it. (your family, your health, etc)
Ask the hard questions and get the truth and reality of what you want
Engage your whole being in making it real.

It took me three years to make the biggest change in my life because I stopped focusing on what others wanted and began to focus on what I wanted.

I just found out that a 2x4 is not 2x4!
When I am expected to know that? How do I know what I don't know. Who in the world would question that something called 2x4 is not actually 2x4?

Honestly, we just call them 2x4s now to confuse the new guy :laugh:

I get your situation mate, and it's kind of a skill winging it whilst learning the ropes, meanwhile being like teflon and having all the BS slide off....

As they say in the Royal Marines - No cuff too tough

Odds are, the frontline managers in any industry were tripping over their own feet at some point - Being sent down the road to pick up some chequered paint for the floor, or a randy tart for the boss's morning tea.

It's likely you'll be yelled at, rarely if ever praised (and I'm not sure if this is still a thing) docked pay for any big screws ups.

Anyone who has done an apprenticeship (uh, trade, not Jedi ) has been through the same trials, and most of them are not any worse off for it.


Edit: It can be worth learning some Jedi mind tricks - Don't lay it on too thick, but everyone has an ego, and the right words in the right tone to more experienced folk / the boss etc can get you on side. Give 'em a little respect, acknowledge their higher level of knowledge and expertise (whether you believe it or not), all of a sudden the workplace is a charming place to be and everyone thinks you're a bright spark with a shining future