The Order of the Good Death

Find here: http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/

Their mission is:

The Order of the Good Death is a group of funeral industry professionals, academics, and artists exploring ways to prepare a death phobic culture for their inevitable mortality. It was founded in January 2011 by Caitlin Doughty, a mortician and writer in Los Angeles, CA.

The Order is about making death a part of your life. That means committing to staring down your death fears- whether it be your own death, the death of those you love, the pain of dying, the afterlife (or lack thereof), grief, corpses, bodily decomposition, or all of the above. Accepting that death itself is natural, but the death anxiety and terror of modern culture are not.

I think it's a great idea, although I've only heard of it through Twitter, and their blog is an interesting read so I thought I'd share.

OOGD Mission wrote: ... death itself is natural, but the death anxiety and terror of modern culture are not.

Er... What?

In other words, what I see is yet another bizarre us-and-them-ist group claiming there is something wrong with people and they have some perfectly unambiguous way of fixing it. This particular one is praying on people's fears and grievances (like we haven't seen that before) and claims to be doing a service when a disservice is just from that quote what seems it is they are doing. And if my quite probably premature judgement that they are reversing just like pretty much all of their peers do, there's a prime example of that, that I shall hence quote taking it entirely out of context:

How we die, after all, is how we live.

[placeholder for an I-am-unimpressed smiley /]

Interesting.... I read the website stuff and checked out the NPR article on it. Here's a quote from that page:

We are constantly confronting death. If you watch those CSI shows, you see death. If you watch cable shows, like “Boardwalk Empire”, you see gruesome grisly death. If you watch the news or read the paper, you find out about people who died.

But none of them are us.

They’re abstractions. They don’t tell us about our own deaths any more than Lord of the Rings tells us about our impending trip to Mordor. Death, in television and even in the news, is usually somebody else’s problem.

Today, we’re talking about dead bodies. Real dead bodies. Just like the one you’re going to be some day.

I'd agree that I'm not entirely certain how I feel about the way they are spreading their message, but at the same time I can sort of agree with it. Fear really is (all fictional stuff aside) the path to the dark side; it leads you down the path of darkness in your life, I've seen it happen too often. I think it's great to see people trying to work to put a different spin on a subject that is, in many ways, considered quite taboo. We don't like to talk or even think about death under most circumstances (let alone our own deaths), and yet it is something that is in many ways beautiful - and certainly natural and inevitable. Dispelling incorrect assumptions regarding how the process works, and enlightening people as to the facts surrounding it seems like a great idea to me. I'd have to spend more time there to really get a feel for the group for sure, but at this moment that's my take on it.

In my job, I have seen many people die. Not on any T.V. show, but right in front of me, in there last breaths. I have seen the days leading up to it.

I have heard last heartbeats. I have washed,and shaved the recently deceased(for family coming to see them before they get put in a mortuary bag), placed tags on toes, and put them in mortuary bags and held grieving family members.

One memorable instance was an a granddaughter begging,( on her knees) me to do something for her grandmother who was a DNR. The most I could do was clean up the bile from her face with a washcloth.

One woman asked me to shave her husband who was dying(died later that day) so he would be presentable for the family that was coming to see him in his last moments.

The fear involved for the dying is the process of. Gasping for breath, the organism fighting to stay alive, the fear reaction is very primal, very lizard brain.

It is scary to watch, knowing it will be me one day in that same situation. I cannot imagine the terror in the actual process, though I have seen it in the eyes of the dying.

I have seen it go in what one might construe as "peacefully"(mostly this means in there sleep. or in such a way that death was very quick and sudden) and some that were....very bad.

Fear of death, is a natural as they say death is a part of life. It is not a comfortable experience. Not just for the dying, but those part of the process.

Then there is always the manner of death, cancers, etc, can be very painful and it eats at the person, wasting them away right before your eyes.

Fear, is natural, and as such, is hardly the path to the Dark side.

Lifes not always the case of "getting comfortable" with things.

Some things in life are disturbing, are uncomfortable, and there is not "getting right with it."

I guess I'm the odd one out then, having no death phobia and not understanding it in others. I've been particularly amazed by its prevalence in jedi circles, It's like people don't believe in the code or something.

Very good points all around. And I can respect that position, but saying that there's no getting right with it doesn't seem to really put it all in perspective. And perhaps my words in the last post were too cavalier? The point I'm trying to make here is that the fear of death, which is a natural element of simply being alive yes, shouldn't be a taboo or unnatural subject for discussion. Life should be celebrated, but in its own way, death should be too. It's that fear of loss, that paralyzing fear, that we should be allowed to be aware of. Instead of hiding from the fact that we're all going to die, perhaps learning to accept that fact, and come to terms with it (and all the unhappiness, fear, heartache - and yes, bile, that comes with it) is a good idea?

I think that the point of fear being natural is a great one though - obviously yes, it is a natural response. I imagine there are very few, if any people, who could truly say they are not afraid of death, of pain, of suffering. EDIT: And one of them is Ren. It's letting that fear consume you, letting it rule your life and control your actions, that leads you astray.

At the end of the day this isn't a topic everyone will agree on by any means. Death is possibly the most personal thing we have in life, so everyone is going to have a different and highly personal opinion on it. I just think that perhaps learning to accept openly this inevitability is a better path than trying to run from it or pretend it won't exist. Should you revel in it and write bad poetry and wear all black because of it? No, that's fetishizing death; but coming to terms with it seems like a damn good idea seeing as there's really no escaping it at the end of the proverbial day.

I think the topic may be straying a bit from the actual content of their site though.

Its not a matter of a death phobia. Nor do I constantly entertain the notion of death and dying.

However I have a unique position due to my job to see it in a myriad of ways, and be a part of it.

Also, no, I dont believe in the Jedi code.

Its easy to say your not afraid of death. Especially if your not dying, experiencing those last gasps, etc.Lol, I am not afraid of death much of the time( more to the point, I dont even think about it). Until situations put me in said unique positions to witness it more than most on a very intimate level.

It doesnt hurt/help that I am very empathic.

Jedi are only human as I understand it Ren, and not perfect, so I dont know why you should think they would be immune to fear.

Or perhaps your just that advanced, others may not be so far along on the path as you.

Or, your lying.

I cannot really say, however, I can hardly see how faith in the code will deliver you from fear of death.

Logically, one can say that energy never dies and just changes, blah, blah, blah.

However, that doesnt remove the fear of the experience itself.

There is no death, there is only the Force...nowhere does it say you shouldnt, or cant fear it.

In many cases, it contributes to ones survival.

Death, yet the Force. I am a Jedi and this is what I believe. Fear, decomposition, afterlife, reincarnation, bile, cancer and all... in my universe what will be, will be. I might whimper like a terrified child when this body dies, but I am at peace with that.

Locksley wrote: I think the topic may be straying a bit from the actual content of their site though.

Perhaps, but I think healthy discussion is always good.

Everyone's dying Khaos. Some simply are more aware of it than others.