Esoteric: "Feeling the Force"

I realize this may be an strange topic for a forum where we don't put much emphasis on Force Powers.

However, I was just thinking about this with the Reiki discussion we were having, and I was remembering my many years of energetic training.

When I was just starting out, I was on the dark path. From around age 12-15, I worked very hard to develop my chakral energies and I did hours of spiritual exercise per day. Around age 13-14, there was almost nothing spiritually possible that I couldn't do. My gifts were related to the mind. I couldn't move objects or anything. But, I had an immensely high emotional intelligence. I also had the ability to read minds, tell the future, and influence peoples' thoughts and actions.

Around age 15, though, I began to have visions of me destroying my family and friends. My powers, in these visions, grew so much that it was as if I was destroying the world.

That scare drove me away from the dark path and onto the path of the light. I developed multiple personality disorder because of that... and, I had a kind of jekyll and hyde experience. I was either all dark or all light. Eventually, Riddle (the dark side of me) was imprisoned using pretty much all the energy I had left. I would say that I used 90% of my power to "seal" Riddle away in another dimension.

Ever since then, I haven't been able to face my inner darkness. I haven't been able to embrace it... and, it's left me pretty much stagnant for 5ish years. I have tried to find it again, but it always ends up with me lashing out instead of constructively accepting my darkness. And, this kind of resulted in my energetic prowess to be less than nothing. I really cannot feel the Force at all. And, I miss it.

I imagine I need something like this to happen: (I promise this is purely coincidental, but it provides the perfect image)
https://youtu.be/EJSciw3LTb8?t=18

Where is my "Degobah" cave?

You know the answer to this already...

Facing the shadow is such a raw time in our training. But, after years of meditation, it may be time for it to come. But, it's hard to have perspective when it's right in your face.

Zenchi wrote: You know the answer to this already...

Yes, indeed ... you do, lad.

Essentially, whenever you feel "bored" or that "something needs to be different", you are at the mouth of the cave. Just go in ...

... but only if you feel you can't handle it. If you feel you do, you'll get cut to ribbons in the blink of an eye.

Thanks, both of you. I needed to hear that.

you cant reject your nature
theres nothing evil in you conner or good really
theres only whichever particular potential you happen to dwell on

every moment is new beginning if you can use it as such

maybe you need to find a hell to walk through

mine was incarceration and drugs and homelessnes

it wasnt as intense as going to war in a foriegn land
but i faced death
the risk of my own, and the event of several others
and fear
and had to walk the line with people who were violent and mean spirited

and it nearly killed me

but now i am not afraid of very much at all and i know the value of life
my own and everyone elses

theres no way to banish or "defeat" anything about yourself except in the sense of defying ones laziness and emphasizing the nobility within our potential

in other words, what you CAN do is focus on what you want from yourself as far as the ideals you want to represent and then focus on how to be consistent and disciplined and systematic in developing that

also you can disregard any ideas about what youre supposed to BE so to speak, or what you want to ACHIEVE or HAVE and start asking yourself what are you supposed to DO - not for your own benefit or advancement but for the collective

what are you here to GIVE?

what do you have to OFFER?

whats your final effect on the world supposed to be?

is life your chance for you to get what you want and be what youre supposed to be and do what you want to do

or is it life an opportunity - a calling - to contribute to something other than yourself?

you have the right to take whatever you need for the purposes of giving back something better

all aspects of yourself are needed
the darkness within man is a result of self reflection and self fixation

it comes from insecurity and fear which becomes selfishness and meanness

the only way to reconcile it is to break the chains of self reflection

to be a consistent giver in spite of individual circumstances

to be perenially alert for the opportunity to bring out the best of ourselves and offer it up to the world because we know how to take delight in the experience of giving our very best and knowing that we gave our very best for its own sake

to the world
the universe
life
the abstract
the force

to defy the constraints of fear
to be afraid and walk forward anyway

i dont know if you feel any of this pertains to you

i dont know what rituals or procedures you already have

i just know whats worked for me

and its what went through my mind when i read your post and watched the video

i dont know if you feel any of this pertains to you

i dont know what rituals or procedures you already have

i just know whats worked for me

and its what went through my mind when i read your post and watched the video

Thanks. I appreciate the thoughts.

I like the metaphor of the cave. Let me speak on a sliver of my interpretation of it. In both Skywalker's and Yoda's cases, they faced the darker, or perhaps negative parts of themselves. I submit that Yoda was more seasoned during his confrontation, but I wonder if that was to his advantage - or if that was the first time he'd encountered that part of himself in that way. I see the cave metaphor not as defeating and removing the negatives in ourselves, but illuminating and owning them. The visual metaphor of Yoda pulling it in and declaring that it has no power over him through discipline and patience is perfect...but this is only the beginning. That part of us still exists, and still claws at us daily...the cave metaphor is merely us taking ownership of that part of ourselves. The fight is daily...daily patience, daily discipline. There will be no grand battle between you and your darker self. It will be the small complacencies, the small outbursts of rage that play out over the course of a lifetime, and they will be there for you to guard against your entire time walking this plane. I thought it important to point that out.

this might help you connor....


http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/Lessons--Topics/63430-geis-work

Thanks! From the secret vault! :laugh:

*goes diving*