I found myself with way too much time on my hands. I tried making it look like a real story but that got ridiculous.. so here it is:
One rainy day, a man looked around and saw himself looking back.
He began thinking that maybe he was missing something deep inside him. So, he opened a small book and began to read. His heart was racing and he grabbed his pen to make the additional words of love.
After he was finished writing, he went to grab his sword and sheath to prepare for an epic battle of honor that would decide who ruled the land he loved, along with his home.
He prepared for the worlds first battle of pen vs sword. By taking his amulet, he was given the duty to protect it from his brothers who had chosen an evil existence, and tried to gather the power to see through - into the future.
Depsite being warned about the consequences, he ventured forth in search of the Great Idea!
He continued on desperately hoping that he would soon find the woman whom oneday would calm his mind and make sandwiches. Then he will, while he loved eating potato salad, admiring the sunset. Then, he went on the quest of ultimate illumination.
He found himself armed with cantalopes and squidgy bananas. He was about to resort to something so strange that it defied all logic.
He went into a public toliet facility and was shocked to discover that peacocks were everywhere! With giant feathers and freakish eyes, the peacocks turned and together said, "BEHOLD OUR POWER AND BOW DOWN!"
Then they departed to some land where he followed a tree stalker with the intention to restore justice for lizards everywhere. But once more, his saber dropped when he discovered the treasonous reptiles gently rapping, tapping, then bit him; and so, he contracted pneumonia somehow but was saved through quick meditation and eating sandwiches.
Suddenly he got woken up by a giant pig without a face!
"AHHHH!!" he cried, but it was futile.
The pig grunted, "Die foolish interloper!"
Then our hero flung his fist in whimpy flurry. The pig stumbled, got up again, and ran North.
Finally, our hero, followed by the pig, and made bacon with two eggs and feasted. He sang to sleep until next morning, awakened with a huge headache and insanely massive pair of wings riding on thunderheads while singing the blues. He past a cow, flying an invisible plane and simultaneously playing a jade guitar, which made him fall into a sudden, deep coma. It was there he finally found he's a girl in his/her subconsciousness and he/she howled in frustration because he/she was also a huge, purple hummingbird flying towards Zombie Dick Clark's devious DNA angle, killing many zombies and Derpy Hooves.
Suddenly, with a giant foam hammer glistening in the moonlight, and a roar - a hero appears. He looks toward the wondrous moon for a sign where the end will come from a man eating shoe which shall devour all socks, forever.
The horrible monster loves feet and destroying Lego buildings, lovingly made by penguins in capes who once more watched resignedly as the Lego paradise somehow turned into fileds of Skittles invaded by Mars and melted plastic, which shall never be used for a holy place of worship.
Our hero knew that a dare taken would end up with restarining order, so, he pondered over those dog's, and decided to follow his bliss and go looking Godzilla Betamax Tapes and thinking of....
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