The 90/10 principal

The 90/10 Principal
By Stephen Covey

10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react…

What does this mean?

We really have NO control over 10% of what happens to us.
The other 90% is different.
We determine the other 90%...By our reactions.

We cannot control a red light.
However we can control our reactions.

Let us use an example…

You are having breakfast with your family.
Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt.

You have no control over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup of coffee over.
She breaks down in tears.

After scolding her, you turn to your wife
and you criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge if the table.
A short verbal battle follows.

You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying
to finish her breakfast and has delayed getting ready for school.
She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.

Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 zone.
After a 15 minute delay and throwing 60 dollars away on a traffic ticket,
you arrive at school and your daughter runs into the building without saying good-by.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you realize you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.

Why?

Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did your wife cause it?
D) Did the police officer cause it?
E) Did you cause it?

The answer is ‘E’

You have no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bed day.

Here is what should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grasping a towel you rush upstairs. After changing the shirt and grabbing your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet your fellow staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended differently.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principal. If someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out ect.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose tour temper? Pound on the steering wheel? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket?

Who cares if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 10/90 principal, and don’t worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.

Why loose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your energy and time to find another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has not control over what is going on.

Use your time to get to know the other passenger beside you. Why get stressed out? It only makes things worse.

Now you know the 90/10 principal. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90/10 principal is incredible. Very few know and apply this principal.

The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principal.

It CAN change your life!!!

many of you know that I and my family have recently moved from an urban home to a rural acrage home. Over the past couple of months there with multiple set backs and unforseen item with the house and property, coupled with my childrens coming to terms that the mall and fast food is no longer within easy reach, I have had many opportunities to practice the 90/10 principal in conjunction with vast amounts of patience...it does work!...as long as one remembers to apply it.

anyone who says there is not at least one time they wish they'd thought before losing it (ie made use of this 90/10) is a fibber.

I'll no doubt be challenged with this scenario tomorrow using public transport to attend an appt - weall know what pub;ic transport is like....

MTFBWY - A

I think force lightning is ok when dealing with public transpo and some of the alien beings who sometimes ride along only to seemingly p***off the patrons. :laugh:

this is a concept i use continuously...everything we do or don't do(by choice) affects not only ourselves but all those around us, and those around them.

whenever faced with a difficult or stressful situation, i take a breath,close my eyes and think of every possible outcome for each decision, before choosing one... of course i don't always spend all my time thinking and not living. sometimes it's good to simply react instinctively and see what life throws at you. without these experiences(both positive and negative) we don't grow,develop or learn....

as my shuri-te instructor used to say, practice until it's automatic....practice thinking before reacting, and eventually you react by thinking first without trying to.

I try to be calm ant take always the right choice, trying to affect others, less as possible, but as a human, not always is possible... so I try the option with less damage to others...

not always work, but if I feel ok with that, and the others take it in good manner, works smooth...

I do not count to ten or anything... years ago, to do it, till any choice, set in my mind, the idea of I'm a Jedi, whats right to do....

right now... just even in the middle of a storm, I stay calm, and been impartial, even with myself, I try to go out myself, and take a look from the distance... it works... it works...

But... we are Humans... its almost impossible to make it work 100% of the time...

but training yourself is a good start.