How life began!

God created the mule, and told him, \"You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.\"

The mule answered, \"To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20.\" And it was so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, \"You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years.\"

And the dog responded, \"Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years.\" And it was so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, \"You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years.\"

And the monkey responded, \"Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years.\" And it was so.

Finally, God created Man and told him, \"You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years.\"

And the man responded, \"Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected.\" And it was so.

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 30 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grand children.

Gee when you put it in that perspective, does make alot of sense. :woohoo: :laugh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc6U7_-BeGc&feature=related

another good guniess commercial - its evolution in reverse -

similar theme to above I suppose

:laugh: :laugh: : :blink: Well that`s exactly where I hope to be in 3 weeks, back to my roots. Great ad!

That is hilarious story Jon.

But I know we can come up with a better God than that.

Glad you liked that! Well the sky is the limit....

...In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.

Then God said, \"Let there be light.\" Officials immediately demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain a building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light \"Day\" and the darkness \"Night.\" Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

God said, \"Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed.\" The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, \"Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth.\" Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelic Society.

Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six days. Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review the application and the environmental impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...

At this point God created Hell.

:woohoo: :laugh:

Well at least we know where all the lawyers go.