It has come to my attention that some of you think that I know what I'm talking about.
I would like to set the record straight.
Any appearance that I have any clue what is going on inside my own head, much less the world around me, is just an elaborate ruse concocted to make me sound semi-intelligent when discussing things well beyond my depth.
Really, I'm much better suited to eating junk food and making songs out of bodily noises than using English to convey my meaning, as I've had to hire a chimp to translate from my caveman-like garbles into digital text.
Feed me, I want a banana.
That is all.
Mitchell L. Willie,
transcribed by Bobo the Circus Monkey
(dictated, not read)
