Giving Up, Letting Go, Moving On

ReallyRiver wrote: If you'd be willing, either here or in pm or where ever, I'd be very interested in hearing details about some of these techniques.

I'd be happy to once I'm done with work. The most effective technique, however, is practice

This might sound a bit strange, but I have cancer to thank for making me learn the lesson you've shared here, tzb. I have always been concerned about other's feelings before my own and I've given way too much to people who have abused me in the past. I neglected my own well being for a long time. It was part of the reason I came to this Temple in the first place. I had begun to sense my candle was out of wick, per say, and I needed to take care of myself. Then I was diagnosed with a disease that requires me to be 100% selfish at times. If I don't, I'll be doing more than just damage to my spirit or ego or emotional health. I could literally die. It makes me realize that it is okay sometimes to let other people handle their own burdens for a bit while I take care of myself. Work, family, and this Temple will have to do without me once in a while, but the alternative would be to do without me forever and I like to think that I still have some good to do here.

Thanks for the reminder, Stu.

There is a lesson I give all my apprentices that goes along the same line of thought.

A knight is Self-Concerned without being Selfish

........ The Knight must be concerned with his or her wellbeing in order to survive. He or she cannot be giving away all the money, all the time, the goods and services, the bond, or one rarely survives well. At the same time, the Knight is not selfish, just concerned enough to survive and function well.

........ In other words, the Knight needs to be realistic to stay healthy, to stay happy, to rest, regenerate, and earn a living. But the ultimate goal of the Knight is never self-aggrandizement, self-adulation, or self-indulgence in any way or form. A Knight must do what he must to stay healthy and in a position to do what his or her purpose is, to serve. This also means ensuring the continuation of the knight in the future.

I think this should be true for all people, Jedi included.

It is also why I tend to not involve myself with TotJo activities on the weekends. A little time away each week is how I keep my sanity… or what’s left of it

LOL


Good message to share TZB

You guys are inspirational. Seriously.

I value my value too little, I guess. This is not about suicide, to be clear, but it's ok with me if I die. I don't really see my contributions to things as being very valuable.

And I guess that leads to a whole heap of issues, including taking care of others (largely my husband and wife) before myself.

I was going to pitch in my $0.02 with a lesson I learned working in EMS, very much in line with what Spinner and Wescli have said above. But I have a sermon due this week, and now I actually have something to say.

Once I was stung by a bee.
It hurt me. He died.
I cried.