Touch deprivation issues and the modern world

Browsing on the net i found this wonderfull article about touch deprivation and what you can do yourself , i realise that one of the articles is an article about clinical depression but i still feel it could be valuable to read because in a society where people spend a great amount online , touch deprivation is actually a thing.

If you wonder where Mann's Free Hug movements comes from



http://baarsinstitute.com/emotional-deprivation-disorder/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/affectionado/201308/what-lack-affection-can-do-you

http://depressivedisorder.blogspot.nl/2011/01/power-of-human-touch-for-depression.html

What an amazing set of articles, MartaLina - thank you.

[Hi, by the way! I've been away from the virtual Temple a long time till this week. ]

There's so much to be said about the theme of these articles regarding touch deprivation and, as the Barr Institute's article describes, deprivation of meaningful social connections. It is very late as I write this and I don't want to go on and on (sleep deprivation also being not lots of fun), but I'll add a couple of things:

1. I've bookmarked this page. I am thinking about re-joining Toastmasters soon, and this subject would support a
speech that I'd expect to be informative and helpful to others.

2. On the personal side of things, I am recalling a three-year period that I consider the happiest, most meaningful
segment of my life to date. In a period of spiritual seeking blended, perhaps alchemically, with the apex of a period
of personal emotional crisis, I'd gotten involved with a number of cultish groups, at least in their outer circles. That led to
some predictable problems, but the experience also had some significant upside. Among the other members, most of
whom were sincere explorers of the inner life, I met some incredibly loving, non-judgmental people - more than I've ever
found in any other group. Hugs abounded, and the portion of these people involved in one form or another of massage
exceeded that of the broader population - meaning there was lots of compassionate physical contact. Combined with
the bright, if unrealistic, vision of life shared among most members of this crowd, these factors contributed to the period of
my history which I recall with the greatest fondness. In moments when I feel down about the current state of affairs on
Earth and I need something for which to be grateful, I remember those three years. That probably says something
about the merits of the articles you shared.

My heart's prayer is that all of us manage to realize the environment of openness, acceptance, and support I knew then,
without the power games that are generally characteristic of cults.

-- Todd

My heart's prayer is that all of us manage to realize the environment of openness, acceptance, and support I knew then,
without the power games that are generally characteristic of cults.

-- Todd

*Bows* that is my sincere wish too , thank you for your kind words and i am glad what i posted is of use to you , i will think of your prayer when things wear me down and i feel drained , because thats what power games do , they drain you untill you give in ...your prayer has given me strenght.

I actually went to massage therapy school with the primary intention of learning how to touch people...

Jedi Druid wrote: I actually went to massage therapy school with the primary intention of learning how to touch people...

And...? Can you elaborate a little ?

Sure, I'd be happy to share. I grew up in the central mid-west in the U.S. which has a rather touch-aversive culture. My family was what we call "Germanic" meaning that stoicism and a lack of showing affection to one-another was the expected social behavior. My family didn't touch each other and my friends and I didn't touch either. I never learned how to physically touch another person appropriately for the sake of a comforting hand on the shoulder or an affectionate squeeze, let alone how to touch a girlfriend. All touch given felt unpracticed and awkward, and all touch received (perhaps a hug from someone) felt like a shock but was also greatly desired. I knew that I deeply craved appropriate touch on some level. It seemed ridiculous to me that the most touch that I received was either from myself, a healthcare provider, or from a massage therapist (which I'd been to only once and found it awkward as well). Two out of those three had to be paid. I decided that I wanted to touch people more and to feel more comfortable being touched. Where does one go to learn how to touch another person? "Hey, buddy, I noticed that your family touches each other a lot. Could I get in on that so I can learn how?" That didn't really seem appropriate. So I went to massage therapy school to learn how people like to be touched and to become more comfortable with being touched, myself. It was an excellent program and not only did I find the touch confidence that I was looking for, but it significantly helped with my career as a healthcare provider. My palpation skills increased significantly and I now knew how to comfort my patients through touch without it being all awkward. I also had a nice little side business as a massage therapist working with autistic children.

Touch is a basic human need (proven with clinical studies). I lived in a touch-aversive culture. My culture could not teach me how to touch and be touched. So I paid to learn. I'm a happier person because of it.

Ah wonderful i thought as much , thank you for sharing your personal story

I think this is a very wonderful subject. I also, believe that touch is a very sensitive issue. I am a manager at a store and I have to always be very careful about what I say or my body language around my associates or even regular customers. I've gotten in trouble a few times for customers coming us and hugging me or telling me they love me. Now, in some people's minds that mind be crossing lines but, I am a person that enjoys a nice hug, enjoys a pat on the back or even as simple as a "high five" from a co worker. Often times, stuff of this nature is considered "sexual harassment" my person opinion how is it sexual harassment if the feeling is mutual between two people? I can understand if it's unwanted or if it's considered inappropriate due to a person being married or, it's a person preference.

Massages and chiropractor I am a firm believer in. I think they're both very therapeutic and good for the body. Our body is so prone to some many stresses and toxins in our world. When you get the touch from another I truly believe it releases all of that bad toxins and tensions and healing of your chakras. I believe also that Yoga is a great aspect of touch especially when your first starting. When I got outta wrestling my Chiropractor encouraged me to try yoga to help align my spine due to the damage taken from getting continuously slammed on the mat. I'll admit at first I wasn't too excited about it and slightly uncomfortable. The first couple of times I couldn't do any of the poses very well. My yoga teacher asked me to stay after classes so she could help me with pointers and let me keep my yoga mat for at home still got it today...need a new one it's pretty worn out but, she showed me how to have better form even would rotate my legs and back, hands and neck to how certain poses we're support to work...it was a good feeling and helped me. Outta the three I think Yoga is the least because it doesn't necessarily deal with touch but, I thought it was worth mentioning because if you have a teach or a friend they can help you.

Thank you Seven, yes it is a very sensitive issue , i am someone who loves to hug and cuddle , i have a daughter with ADD that rejected me in that aeria for years , it used to break my heart , then we visited a councellor that taught me some "holding" techniques that enabled be to show my daughter that she is loved and feel her near at the same time. My daughter grew up to be more affectionate , which i am very proud of , because her nature is to push away people and draw them near and then push them away again , it a considerable fear she has to live with and i try to convince her to do contact sports and such. Sometimes we go for facials, not because i am ovrerly idle but just to do things lke that together.

The important thing about getting this out in the open and discussing these touch related issues is to get them out of the Creepy sphere that people are trying to make us believe , touching eachother and showing affection is in the normal realm of things and nothing dirty , when it becomes dirty , believe me i am the first to lash out hehe

Media are constantly poisinging us with fear , of talking to eachother , trusting eachother , touching eachother. Mind you predators are everywhere indeed , but not everyone who touches you or shows affection is of ill intention ..people are getiing ill and depressed over this. Its sad really