How being alone may be the key to rest

The article is too long to post here, but please have a look AT THIS LINK.

Any thoughts on this?

It's fascinating, for sure!

I often struggle with the concept of needing to 'be alone' to rest though, as I'm a very entrenched people person who likes to be around others. I do feel that as I age though, and become more in touch with myself, that I find myself in a mindset which agrees with this study.

I am a fan of the idea of some people "not being people" though. It's a phrase a dear friend said to me once, when we lived together. They were stressed, tired, in need of rest. I asked if I should leave for awhile to allow them to and they looked at me with a puzzled expression and said "But you aren't 'people'.".

I was very confused, but they then explained they didn't have to 'exert' themselves around me, or put willpower into our interactions, because we were so close and chill. We could be around each other and recharge. It's a concept I love, but only it only applies to a handful of people I know.

Also, I know for sure I don't let myself rest enough.

This ties into the article where they found that we tend to be pretty spot on in regards to how much rest we need, and until we fulfill that, we're not going to have a ton of motivation / willpower / drive.

Willpower is an exhaustible resource, and I think many people forget that in the hustle and bustle of modern life.

My life is social , my work is social , my voluntair job is social , so i need a lot of alone time to recharge myself , when i dont do that i burn up , i litteraly become ill , i get higher temp and flu like symptoms , a good alarm system indeed ! I can relate to the article which states that most people 2/3 dont find other peoples compagny very calming and they dont find rest when they are with others. I also can only really rest when alone , but having said that , i once fell asleep at a rave party and had a wonderfull nap with 134bpm blasting in my ears , so ..yeah :huh:

I too am continuity around multitudes if people. Whether, work, church, travels. Plus, my wife and I are a lot if times joined at the hip. So very few times I am alone completely. Before marriage I could say I wished not to be alone but, as I have got older and how fast paced life can be some days I wish I could go away to a solitary place and mediate, eat and commune with The Force alone with out anyone. I think its interests me to read I think its good because even with relationships can he attachment which we as Jedi do our best not to have because it can cause fear and doubt which is The dark side... But, I agree I mean I'll use the example of Christ few times in The Bible was he ever alone. In fact he sent his Apostles away on a ship and sent the crowds away for awhile so he could go onto of a mountain and pray.

Confusing language. They seem to define sleep as rest, and then classify various activities as restful... perhaps sleep and relaxing might have been better terms to use, rather then trying to fit all that under the umbrella of rest.

And I disagree those activities represent being alone, except for the category 'Spending Time Alone', and it even said itself that those activities are 'often' done alone. Further that category of spending time alone itself could allow a good argument that all the others were actually viewed as when not alone, by its presence as an option for all time spent alone. Also sleep is quite different from some of the relaxing options. Which all works to defeat the whole point about being alone as restful, even if they weren't intending to mean sleep.... but I think it's partially true.

Considering many of those listed peaceful things are all quite busy; reading, thinking, walking - I'd suggest its just they have the freedom to fully control the circumstances of the effort ie freedom. The key thing being uninterrupted time ie no external stress. They don't even seem to require being alone. So I do not think its because we are alone, but rather we are free to experience the world on our own terms at our own pace.

Perhaps that is what love is, when the person your with allows you to be as relaxed doing those things as if you were alone. I guess it comes down to is the people your with reinforcing your life or chiseling it away - broadly speaking, as we all have ups and downs. So I don't think a person needs to be alone to be fully relaxed, and rather it depends on the person they are with more then anything.

Sleep though does start to become a different story IMO. It's both about the relationship but also about the quality of sleep ie external stress. If one person is restless then the other one usually knows about it one way or the other
:pinch:

But I prefer 8-10 hours sleep as I like to dream, and usually find the best measure of waking is more about where I awake in the dream cycle rather then how many hours of sleep as a total.

I do believe that the title of the article is something of a leap from what the data actually shows. That's no surprise, however. How many times do articles about scientific studies exaggerate a bit or make a claim only partially supported by the data of the study? All the time. It's about getting clicks more than accurately representing the study.

Plus, this was a survey (I'm assuming done online) and it purposefully didn't define the words it was using so that the takers were able to put forth their own meaning. That means that they could all be answering under different interpretations of words like "restful" and "well rested" or "well being." I find it hard to take the findings here too seriously.

That said, I would actually agree completely with it.

Even spending time with some of my best friends can be draining. I even look forwards to time away from my wife! (don't tell her :laugh: ) Sometimes the only way for me to feel fully recharged is to be alone for a while. Personally though, I don't like being alone for very long. Not even a full day. I like having a day off in the middle of the week to do nothing, watch movies my wife hates while eating food she can't stand the smell of. Then by the time she comes home I'm charged and super happy to see her. I'll avoid making plans with friends on days that I had set aside to just be alone.

I like what Cayce said though about some people not being 'people.' It makes total sense to me. For example, I have two really close friends. One of whom I can hang out with for hours on end with no problem. We were roommates once and it was great. The other though, I can't really hang out with for as long. We also were roommates once (at the same time as the other actually) and it did not work out as well.

Dang right it is.

My partner and I have separate rooms*, and occasionally "book" the house so we can chill in peace.

*We also keep dissimiliar work hours, so it's fairly practical.

We'll share a room (or a meal) when shifts or RDOs line up.

I mean, that's great for introverts, but some of us drain quicker when we're alone.