Trigger Warnings

rugadd wrote:

Manu wrote:

rugadd wrote: Public shaming is not a restriction per se. Only the person whom is responsible for the page can restrict your access to it. If I were in a room full of people shaming me, I would leave.

This is exactly how public shaming works. They gang up on you and psychological stress you, to the point where you simply desist from whatever you were originally doing.

Yes, but its not a restriction, its a room full of assholes. Why would I stick around once their character is shown?

And, this is what just happened with Mahogany...

People come here, expecting something....

And, we fall short....

We (people think) are a "safe place", except we arent, either....

Look at our regulars who get excited about stuff, STILL, lol....

MadHatter wrote:

Brenna wrote: *disclaimer. This is my view from my own professional experience and education and does not encompass ALL mental illness. Im also not saying that anyone who do not recover from mental illness are to blame for their own situation. But I am saying that they have more control over it than many of them realise or will accept.

Ok first off you owe me a new tea because I just spit out a good bit of it when read that cross fit line.

Yep, there are several people in my office with "gluten/dairy/scent intolerance" (ie. NOT actually lactose intolerant, celiac, etc) that make potlucks........difficult. My face ---> ಠ_ಠ

But, yeah, I think realizing that you have control of your own emotions is KEY. I think that's the best way to approach the situation.

Miss_Leah wrote:

MadHatter wrote:

Brenna wrote: *disclaimer. This is my view from my own professional experience and education and does not encompass ALL mental illness. Im also not saying that anyone who do not recover from mental illness are to blame for their own situation. But I am saying that they have more control over it than many of them realise or will accept.

Ok first off you owe me a new tea because I just spit out a good bit of it when read that cross fit line.

Yep, there are several people in my office with "gluten/dairy intolerance" (ie. NOT actually lactose intolerant or celiac) that make potlucks.........difficult. My face ---> ಠ_ಠ

But, yeah, I think realizing that you have control of your own emotions is KEY. I think that's the best way to approach the situation.

May you possibly mean one has control over one's reactions to their own emotions?

rugadd wrote:
May you possibly mean one has control over one's reactions to their own emotions?

Yes, that's what I mean. Thanks

Jestor wrote:
People come here, expecting something....

And, we fall short....

We (people think) are a "safe place", except we arent, either....

Look at our regulars who get excited about stuff, STILL, lol....[/color]

I like to think of this community as a "safe to be unsafe place"

I think there needs to be a balance. Yes, there are some things that I don't realize I'm being insensitive about, and when I'm talked to, I can take that time to reassess. But other times... it just gets silly.

My daughter loves climbing into the dog's kennel and closing it behind her (I know, I know, suppose to be dog's happy place but it keeps her entertained for a little while...) my dad was over and thought it was the funniest thing ever, so he took a picture and posted it to his facebook with the caption of "babysitting made easy" (or something similar)

A friend of his got upset at it and told him to take it down and that it "could" be reported. That's a little overboard.

Some days I am more sensitive than others. When I'm scrolling through facebook I can't tell you how many times I get upset at the "A perfect/wonderful/loving mother does *insert list*" or "Share if you love your mother". Because I never had one (and not because she didn't exist, but because she never played the part beyond appearances for others). As upsetting of a trigger that is, it's not my place to run around and tell people they shouldn't share those kinds of messages. This is something I have to fix in myself. I can get upset when I see the girls night out kind of pictures. Because I don't have any local friends to spend time with or have fun. But that doesn't mean that other's can't share that kind of happiness.

If I'm running around and unknowingly spouting bigotry, that's one thing. And there's a good way to approach that. There's sensitive to other's feelings, and then there's too sensitive. The second part will come to posting nothing at all.

Miss_Leah wrote: Ok, I'm sorry in advance for what may turn into a really ugly argument, but I really do need guidance....

These days, trigger warnings are everywhere on social media (and bleeding out into other media)

It's one thing to say "This video contains graphic violence" as an FYI, but since my Facebook is populated in large part by people who are either extreme SJW or people who agree and encourage extreme SJW behaviour, I see it so often.

Today, I was tagged in several of those "fun" posts where you take a ridiculous situation and plug people from your friends list into it for a few laughs. This particular one was ""You're in a mental hospital. Use the first 7 people on your chat list." Then a list of silly things like "______ is licking the windows", "__________ is running around naked", "_________ is the doctor", etc. It was meant to be stupid, get a few laughs, then vanish.

The people tagged (including myself) all had a giggle, but then someone posted in the thread that mental hospitals used to be horrific places of torture, and this post may be traumatic to those with mental illness. The OP then took down the joke and apologized for it.

And I see this happen all the time. Trigger warnings, safe spaces, microaggressions, trauma, stigma, victimizing, dehumanization, discrimination, oppression...it's making my head spin. And my job exposes me to mental illness every day (especially PTSD), because I manage disability claims for military/law enforcement.

I'm having a really hard time taking a lot of this seriously. I don't want to make a blanket statement like "This generation is overly sensitive" but it seems so prevalent, and I think it rather has the opposite effect of what is intended a lot of the time. I think that there are MAJOR improvements that need to be made in the way we treat certain groups in our society and I think we should be sensitive to the needs of others, but where should we be drawing the line?

I personally can't stand this feminist crap. I find 'social media' stupid, and after reading what Tesla (MGTOW a hundred years before it was cool) predicted for the future, the omnipresent 'wireless' turning us into a gynocentric bee society, and witnessing the way people generally behave I am glad I do not use it. My encounters with with feminists/SJW/ABCLGBTQXYZ are limited to totjo, and I'm tired of totjo. Jediism died when SJWs showed up. The old fashioned weirdos of the communities were way more interesting. These days I find far more wisdom in the 'riff-raff' of a poor neighborhood than I do on a university campus or an online discussion. You know there is something very wrong with society when of all people you meet those most capable of independent thought are 'uneducated'.


Want to draw a line? How about don't use social media in order to not become some kind of idiot zombie who bickers over identifying as a biter or a walker, not to mention the brain-eating cultural misappropriation, or the fight to ban the patronizing label 'partially deceased syndrome' from spoken conversation to medical literature.
Want friends? People who tell you you offend them and warn you you 'might get reported' are not it.

Fluffy bunnies and special snowflakes everywhere...as a special request from Kit

It's probably a weakness because it lets others dictate ones experience of self and even direct their action into predictable patterns of response. Perhaps its as simple as the difference between feelings and emotions, with emotions being feelings that are allowed to dictate ones behaviour. The other option is use the feelings as source of information and self power. I'd say response should be not based on the feelings but rather the intention - because given the increases in the sizes of audience now available to commentary thanks to the net, its going to be easy to offend accidentally. I don't think we should stop feeling strongly, but rather not let its existence dictate our decisions, as they are often contextualized by assumptions.

Not overly social, so not really exposed to these kind of things. Plus, this does not seem to be as big an issue in Germany yet.

I struggle with the meaning of trigger. I’ll give an example of what I consider to be one of mine: If I am asked something and answer with ‘no’, that usually is final. If people ask this question again expecting me to change my opinion/decision I will get irritated, at the second time usually not to any degree further than being a little disgruntled. If I am asked this a third time (in a short period of time mind you) it is highly possible I will flip my lid. Bad experiences with people not taking no for an answer. So doing this, pushing that button intentionally and repeatedly is what I would consider a trigger. In this context my trigger warning would be ‘Accept a no because at the third try I will flip my lid’. More of a warning towards others than for me.

As uncomfortable as unpleasant feelings are, they are part of life and I see a huge difference between a recovering ED person asking not to be flooded with insensitive stuff and people as the one in the OP example claiming possible harm to possible people somewhere somehow - possibly. In my opinion speaking on behalf of someone without them specifically asking YOU to do so for them is taking away the possibility to stand for themselves from them. And making them feel powerless since they ‘had’ to rely on someone else to do it.

I believe triggers as a concept to only be valid if something is directed AT the person with these triggers. Asking for someone to restrict themselves on a topic you were not the center off but merely witnessed as a bystander in my eyes is surrendering personal responsibility and pushing/forcing them on someone else.
I agree with Miss_Leah and Brenna on this: If it is serious enough for you to ask your entire environment to tread carefully around this topic it would be best advised to get some professional help instead.