Grief, is it ever over?

Something that I thought could be worth a discussion...

7 years ago my mother in law died, 3 years ago my nan died; both were my role models; strong, compassionate, family-centric women. I loved both of them and cried immensely when they both died. All this time later, thinking of them still leads to feelings of grief and loss... when I feel like I need support my nan would have given, I drive to her old flat and sit outside.

My question to you all is, do you ever really stop grieving for the loss of those you love? Or do you just 'learn to live with it'?

Edan wrote: Something that I thought could be worth a discussion...

7 years ago my mother in law died, 3 years ago my nan died; both were my role models; strong, compassionate, family-centric women. I loved both of them and cried immensely when they both died. All this time later, thinking of them still leads to feelings of grief and loss... when I feel like I need support my nan would have given, I drive to her old flat and sit outside.

My question to you all is, do you ever really stop grieving for the loss of those you love? Or do you just 'learn to live with it'?

I am to this day trying to live with the fact that my father is gone , he died 1992 , i was in the middle of my first divorce then , i still can cry when i think of how much he missed my daughter growing up , and his guidance , he was an exceptional man who was very loved in the community , always standing up for others , took my friend Bertie in when she was pregnant at 14 and her dad kicked her out , my father offered her a place to stay , i remember hundreds of examples of his Love for us and others , my father was a Jedi , a real one , a real life one , i honour his memory and i miss him and even now i cry

My sister has been dead for 17 years this year. My grandfather for 7. My aunt for 18. My uncle for 13.

Even now I sometimes I still find myself suddenly in tears and missing them terribly. I have moments where I still find the loss of my grandfather and sister devastating.

It never leaves you. And i don't think that you ever "get over" loving someone. It deepens your understanding of some things, lessens the importance of others.

it may seem silly, but when I was younger I used to imagine a part of them and the things that they taught me as ribbons woven into a kind of armor that helps me get through stuff.


But as they say, we dont grieve for the dead, we grieve for ourselves.

Brenna wrote: it may seem silly, but when I was younger I used to imagine a part of them and the things that they taught me as ribbons woven into a kind of armor that helps me get through stuff.

There's nothing silly about that, because it's a metaphor that describes the truth of the place they held in your life and making you who you are.