Excercises for a broken heart

Assume you were carrying around a very heavy heart. Whatever the reason, this dark cloud tugs at your chest and mists your eyes when you least suspect it. It suggests terrible things and you occasionally entertain the idea just to shut your heart up.

What do you do in this situation? What is the proper self care method you would prescribe?

Depends on the person. If it was one of my meditation/Jedi students and they were well-into their training, I would tell them to let it come up in meditation when it chooses to come up. And, continue to let it come up. Until it's been used up, and it holds no more.

If it was just a random person, I would tell them that a broken heart is a natural (Read: supposed to happen) event. To be with it, not judge it, and see if you can see it for what it is... a reaction. When it becomes merely an idea, then it has no more sway over you. Grieving should be done. Fully. And, then, it is done. Some parts of it... we will carry with us. A lost loved one. But, the memory doesn't have to stop your life. It can actually contribute to your courage.

I find myself wondering some things when I read this..
Has something specific happened to make a person feel this way, or is it something they seem to carry with them constantly regardless of what's happening around them or in their lives?

If something has happened, being patient, gentle, and loving with oneself is important. Talking to others - opening up about feelings and thoughts.. which can also be difficult..

Otherwise, if it's something constant, realizing that it's part of who you are - that it comes and goes, and trying to remain open to learning while in it. Finding someone who understands the heavy feeling can lift a huge weight.. Again, gentleness and patience.. a quiet acceptance, even. It's okay to not be okay all the time.

Whichever it happens to be, my inbox is open for anyone who ever feels this way. You are not alone..

i can only say what helped me

sometimes its hurt so bad that i laughed not to cry

when i was in that place, all i could see was my own flaws failures and short comings, except for when i was seeing all of her flaws and failures and shortcomings

there were failures and betrayals on both sides, and these left me bitter at her and ashamed of myself

i saw the worst in me and in her, and these were the only reality i was able to recognize for a while

what i found to offset that was to stay very busy, and to really, really be sincere about putting my life on track, going in the right direction with who i want to be and with what im doing with my time, and doing my best to be a positive influence on the world, to whatever extent i was capable

there is this potential ME that i have to sort of chisel out of this mess that ive become, and that me has something really good to contribute, and no matter whats happened and where ive gone wrong, i am still doing my best to express my best, whenever i can

being able to see the truth of this in myself, and to see myself progress in this way, has allowed me to feel hope, and to have hope that life can and will be good again, and that ultimately my existence is worth the moments of pain and the many instances of imperfection

and understanding that theres still a lot of work to do

and the saying "time heals all wounds" isnt EXACTLY true, but it does heal a lot, and in time, broken hearts do heal, and they do find new happiness

Sleep.
Connection with others. Isolation is dangerous for a broken heart and a brooding mind.
Self care.
Exercise
Laughter
Allowing yourself to grieve.
And allow yourself to experience your broken heart. Squashing it back and trying to seek comfort and avoiding the pain only prolongs the pain.
Peanut butter icecream (ok so sometimes comfort is required. but this is legitimate self medicating ok!)

Its just pain. It will pass. And soon it will be a memory of pain with the occasional sad pang. But just a memory.

This is a difficult subject, a broken heart can cast a shadow over your life , its one of the most severe pains in your life , that is why you have to cherish it , that sounds weird , but the pain represents the amount of love invested , love that lost , but the ability to love that way is priceless , and trying to heal your heart with tricks to get over the pain is like throwing the baby away with the bathwater.

If someone is capable of love in that way , he/she can love again

There are no set excersises for getting over a broken heart
Icecream helps,
and crying , lots of crying
and sharing
and meditating

and one day , love again

There tends to be an element of shame people tend to carry concerning how they feel (whether they realize that its shame or not), and because of this, we sometimes feel the want to shut ourselves off from others knowing how we feel and think "I ought to be strong enough to battle this dragon on my own."

No. You cannot battle it on your own. It will grow while you are alone with it and it will feed off of you until you have very little use left to yourself and others. If you want to defeat this and move past it, realize its weakness is love you receive from connection of those around you who can provide it - family and close friends. Don't get caught in shame, and nip it in the bud early before you can give it a chance to grow too big for you to know what to do with it.

I'd go watch a lot of funny movies and comedy shows. Laughter is the best medicine. A good cry clears oud a lot of stuff. If's it real heavy I'd get professional help. There is no shame in that broken bones or broken heat see the right person for help. Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.

I, as well as many have been there. One day my wife disappeared with my children... flying to another country with little warning, to avoid a custody battle she could not win. It shattered me inside and it took me awhile to recover. First I went to friends and tried to do what others here have said.... however nothing really works until you decide to let it work. Ice cream in my opinion is something to put away when the soulful cries stop coming from your mouth unbeckoned, or the tears can be controlled. Comfort food has its place, but you can undo much depending on your body type as well as gain weight which can increase your depression. Some comfort food is ok, just... prolonged recovery takes a prolonged effort to overcome it.

At times I would embrace my emotions and do things that needed to get done. I would go around the house, clean, organize, then after awhile it was just not enough or I did not feel the drive as I did when I started... but I knew that sitting around would only force me to wallow in my own emotional cage.

Then as many men do, I looked to hurt myself in ways I could, such as alcohol. Avoid this like the plague. No matter your friends, alcohol will do more then immediate damage but it also has a way of lingering after the buzz is gone and making you go ever deeper. It is a depressant and you do not need that junk when sad. But that need to hurt or punish the self for not seeing or believing what was before me, I sought more constructive means.

This is where you start to reach out to do things like fitness. It can be simple as going for a walk when you find your thoughts spinning. So even if your thoughts spin, then at least you are walking. I decided to punish myself in a different way from that as I am physically limited and pumping weights while depressed is a great way to get hurt even when fit. I decided to tackle my eating situation.

This did the most good for me. It involves planning and has small rewards. Making plans to cook meals and eat them in a special way towards fitness and health goals is what really helped me stretch my emotions out until eventually the wound in my heart began to scar with temperance and wisdom. It is not immediate and at times the depth of my loss hits me still, years later even though I have moved on in regards to being with another partner. The loss of my children and the end of a 14 year marriage overnight totally evacuated what soul I felt I had.

Try to bend your desire to outburst, punish, self pity, self loath, anger, or just plain sadness... into getting out or at the very least doing some things. Get involved in your hobbies in a constructive way is going to go far in the long run towards fixing the hole in your heart. Above all stay away from spending large sums of money and consumption of alcohol.

If you feel the need to do exercise, I would recommend Tai Chi Chuan, as it works in flows and is available online for free all over a simple google search, so you do not even need to leave the household or expend money to learn the basics of the forms. Try towards the perfection of forms. It is a healthy exercise that focuses on precision and while you expend your sadness on focus, you replace over time... the hole in your heart.