You are Beautiful!

sadly that does happen on occasion....some people just can't take a compliment for what it is, and instead see it as something more nefarious....

ren wrote:

Don't forget to smile and tell someone they are beautiful.

Errr... No thanks I don't want to get done for sexual harassment.

Ok how about another form of Compliment? It does not have to be beautiful if folks are uncomfortable with that term.

Ren, I appreciate everything you do and all the help and time you donate to help keep the servers and this website operational. Thank you for your hard work and dedication. I always learn something from you and I am always interested to hear your opinions. Thank you for being you. You do a great job.

i sexually harass everyone i meet at least once
its like an initiation ritual

i havent been sued yet, but i dont really have anything to sue me for so that might be why

RyuJin wrote: women seem to need it more than men, which is understandable considering societal pressures on perfection...

Or guys need it more because they are never told it! Unlike handsome, which is uniquely masculine, the word beauty can mean lots of things which have no gender at all... so since words mean things, guys might feel deep down a little left out and it could reinforce the conformity towards a masculine gender stereotype
:huh: :silly:

I'd say women are used to receiving it much more and have had no choice but to incorporate it into their way of relating to people. But.... it can even be a problem for some young women who get used to the attention and end up seeking it at the expense of being true to themselves.

So again, the 'intention' of effort here might be the best measure of beauty, to reveal ones inner nature truthfully. Often when a guy says to a girl your beautiful its just an expression of his own feelings towards her outer appearance, which yea is sexualized and a bit creepy adolescent for adults to do.

This does not mean women or men should not focus on being beautiful, its just they might need to find what makes them feel beautiful to begin with.

Edit; I'm not suggesting that is easy to do, its natural and part of how we learn and grow to shape ourselves to external feedback. Like how a deaf person cannot hear themselves talk and so often speak really loudly... I guess the trick is the distinction but its not made easier by discriminatory people who use this to influence and shape peoples behaviour (bounce off to this thread LOL).

interesting point....

compliments make me uncomfortable, compliments on my looks make me feel insulted, compliments on my deeds or actions , etc make me feel very uncomfortable....on the other hand i can be called a "useless @$$hole" and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest...in fact the last time someone called me that my reply was: " thank you, i work hard at it" and i smiled from ear to ear...

RyuJin wrote: interesting point....

compliments make me uncomfortable, compliments on my looks make me feel insulted, compliments on my deeds or actions , etc make me feel very uncomfortable....on the other hand i can be called a "useless @$$hole" and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest...in fact the last time someone called me that my reply was: " thank you, i work hard at it" and i smiled from ear to ear...

OK then, I'd call you beautiful but it will make you uncomfortable and/or insulted.... so how about you are a beautiful useless @$$hole :lol:
Noting the important placement of the middle word in that :S
Just pretend beautiful is not how you look but how they see you


But seriously, I'm the same. It feels like a joke when people say it to me. I'm not sure if its because I'm not happy with myself or I just don't trust em!! It's a bit like when I'm sad, I'm not really sad until someone offers sympathy or support - it removes me from my mantle of authority and power over the situation and forces me to hand over that power to someone and experience my own emotions without restrictions.... which is annoying HAHA.

I don't know about everyday, but as often as I can, I will do this as well.

RyuJin wrote: interesting point....

compliments make me uncomfortable, compliments on my looks make me feel insulted, compliments on my deeds or actions , etc make me feel very uncomfortable....on the other hand i can be called a "useless @$$hole" and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest...in fact the last time someone called me that my reply was: " thank you, i work hard at it" and i smiled from ear to ear...

I'm like that as well. Can't make one, can't take one... I always feel there are ulterior motives to compliments. Next to that my best friend and I essentially spend our days exchanging the most vile insults you'll ever hear and we have great fun.

I walked up to a woman in a coffee shop this morning and said, "You are beautiful person. Thank you for being you." She was grinning from ear to ear. Said that I was a beautiful person as well. That was quite the experience. I think I'll do it again sometime.

New to the discussion (and new to the board) but I LOVE this story. I think it's a must that we as a society should start giving more compliments. Unfortantly the majority of society these days focus on the negativity. Look at the cesspool that is Facebook. The majority of it is bashing. (In the past I'm just as guilty in the participation)

That's why I'm making it a daily goal to compliment as much as I can. We need more light in this world and less darkness.