"Weak and Powerless" ?

Have you ever felt personally powerless, subdued under emotion, scared, out of control of your feelings, etc about a new personal experience with an unknown future outcome?

Did you feel weak or unworthy that you felt this way?

Did you feel as if "I should be better than this, damn it!"

Have you ever "clicked" into a bitter, cynical, angry state of mind as a defensive mechanism against it?

What can we do to keep from beating our selves up for being in this state?

accept the knowledge that no matter how good you are there is always somebody better....once you're able to accept the limits of your own abilities AND acknowledge the abilities of others you cease to question yourself....

Yup, depends on the intensity. Low intensity is just a distraction from whatever the person operates as normal, but high intensity will change a person to some extent - like that concept of a new normal. Without going too Buddhist, it reminds me perhaps of the paths in the Tibetan Nyingma tradition of the Nine Yana's; the path of renunciation, the path of purification, the path of transformation and finally the path of self-liberation.

Not to focus on the specifics, but just the structure.... if the intensity of whatever it is facilitating is increasing then the relationship with ones past 'normal' might or might not change. Do I renounce the negative experience and revert to my normal, purify the negative experience to find meaning and inform my normal to alter my capacity to view, transform my normal from the negative experience, or completely accept and embrace the change forced on me by the negative experience.

I guess the intensity is a measure of effect upon oneself... but in all circumstances one should always strive forward and make best. The only way out of a hole is to keep digging - just change the direction from down to sideways, and you'll work a slope soon enough and find yourself a path out - you just might not be the same person you were, but that's ok, your a new person!!

Have you ever felt personally powerless, subdued under emotion, scared, out of control of your feelings, etc about a new personal experience with an unknown future outcome?

Yes. Scarily often so and not only an 'unknown future outcome' but for many other reasons besides that one. Funnily enough I'm reading a good book about this on over-eating (Even though I'd quite like to put on some weight rather than take it off). This does relate to your question! The author writes that the reason people over-eat is to comfort themselves when they feel 'powerless'. He then delves into different layers of that- self-doubt, frustration, saftey, rebellion, emptiness. It's a good book and it feels quite pertinent to your question somehow. (The book btw is 'Shrink Yourself' by Roger Gould). I’ll write a little more at the end of this.

Did you feel weak or unworthy that you felt this way?

Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. The guilt would usually come after an action I later deemed avoiding the feeling.

Did you feel as if "I should be better than this, damn it!"

Yep!

Have you ever "clicked" into a bitter, cynical, angry state of mind as a defensive mechanism against it?

Yes… I tend to click into “F**k it, I’ve fallen this far- I might as well keep going! :S”

What can we do to keep from beating ourselves up for being in this state?

The book I’m reading suggests that one should become aware of what “makes you crazy insecure”. That way when you are in a relatively ‘calm’ state of mind you can almost ‘prepare’ yourself with logical reasoning beforehand and remind yourself of the important facts- “I won’t always feel like this”, “It’s not the end of the world”, “you are not powerless- there is almost always something you can do”. You can recognise your triggers (what sets you off) and then instead of acting out as you have seen yourself doing, you can step back a minute, and choose- either to continue with your action or a new action. The stepping back I think to almost get a ‘big’ picture view is pretty important. As is the idea of seeing multiple interpretations for one scenario which reminds me of Campbell and two farmers… (pg.37 Hero with a Thousand Faces- The World Navel) where two farmers are tricked by a god who wears a hat red on one side and green on the other. The farmers come to argue about which colour the hat was and it is only later revealed by the trickster god that it was in fact both… The other piece of advice is to FACE your fears, or rather do NOT avoid them. Often it is through avoidance that a small problem turns into a large one… These are all just little ideas but I think that they're pretty good for facing that feeling of being powerless or weak.

I hope some of it is useful in any case Pro,

Accept yourself for who and what you are. Never stop pushing yourself to be better but know and accept that you are not here to look perfect to everyone else, you just have to be the best you that you can be on a daily basis, however that looks. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. Don't trivialize yourself because you aren't Superman, maximize yourself for being you and know that you are needed and important.

Proteus wrote: Did you feel weak or unworthy that you felt this way?

Did you feel as if "I should be better than this, damn it!"

theres nothing weak or unworthy about it really - you have to GET there before you can BE there

we have this expectation that as we age and our bodies mature, that our emotions and emotional responses will just keep up

but the truth is that while our bodies will grow and age no matter what we do, our emotions stay where they are until we experience the situations that spur them to grow

its not really an issue of "i should be better than this"
theres no reason you should be better than this because this is new ground, new territory
even when we keep repeating the same mistakes, its not because we are failures, but because at some point we entered into new territory, and the way through that territory is yet to be discovered.

we havent yet crossed into the next level so to speak

THERE IS NO SCHEDULE FOR EMOTIONAL GROWTH

you cant do it "wrong" as long as you are sincere in recognizing where you are and in being willing to do the work that it takes to move forward

to accept that the situation is whatever it is, and accept the challenge of really facing it to the best of our ability and effort

with that comes the potential for failure, yes, and failing is the least comfortable part of growth, but its possibly the most important, and definitely its unavoidable and is one of the major life lessons we all experience; how to do ones best in the face of failure - with the risk of new failures and in recovery of the failures of the past

and that IS the process of getting to that place where we are better

until we experience these events and struggle through these difficulties the "better" doesnt really exist for us, so its not even fair to expect ourselves to be better than we are, since we havent completed the process that MAKES us better

being harsh towards ourselves is unhealthy and debilitating - not just in an abstract philosophical way but directly, immediately

we flood our systems with a cocktail of hormones that tax our immune systems and distract our growth and distort our thinking - to the point where the worst case scenario appears to be the only really logical possibility and to the point where the very best decision and action that we are capable of taking are inherently reduced in effectiveness because we have reduced ourselves

the expression "cut down to size" is close but misleading - we dont cut ourselves down to our proper size, we cut ourselves in half, and then we expect this half to be as good as a whole, but obviously thats not possible

i believe that the decision to be a nurturing person has got to start and end with the decision to be nurturing towards the self

by consistently nurturing ourselves we create a platform or a base from which we are able to be nurturing towards others

Proteus wrote: Have you ever "clicked" into a bitter, cynical, angry state of mind as a defensive mechanism against it?

What can we do to keep from beating our selves up for being in this state?

yes, and ive learned that emotions, to a great extent, are events that happen TO us, existing outside of our volition

the only emotional freedom that i know for sure that we do have, is the freedom to choose the internal litany that we will believe in - we cannot stop the feelings of bitterness or cynicism or anger or shame or "choose-your-own-misadventure" from happening, but when they happen, we can choose to control to what extent we will validate them, and definitely to what extent we will actively, mentally reinforce them

its important to be conscious of and deliberate about what kind of litany we actively reinforce

its jedi 101 - your focus determines your reality