Koans

A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin and asked, "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"

"Who are you?", asked Hakuin.

"I am a samurai.", the warrior replied.

"You, a soldier!", exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."

Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued, "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."

As Nobushige drew his sword, Hakuin remarked, "Here open the gates of hell!"

At these words, the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.

"Here open the gates of paradise.", said Hakuin.

Nasreddin had a leaky ferry-boat, and used it to row people across the river. One day his passenger was a fussy schoolteacher, and on the way across he decided to give Nasreddin a test and see how much he knew.

"Tell me, Nasreddin, what are eight sixes?"

"I've no idea."

"How do you spell magnificence?"

"I don't."

"Didn't you study anything at school?"

"No."

"In that case, half your life is lost."

Just then a fierce storm blew up, and the boat began to sink.

"Tell me, schoolteacher," said Nasreddin. "Did you ever learn to swim?"

"No."

"In that case, your whole life is lost."

A Shorter Line

One day Akkarin drew a line with his hand on the floor of the open court and told his apprentices that if they wanted to keep heir positions they must make the line shorter without touching any part of it.

Apprentice after apprentice approached and stood staring at the puzzle, but they were unable to solve the problem.

After watching a while, Jestor stepped forward and drew a longer line next to the first one, without touching the first line.

Everyone look at it and agreed. The first line was definitely shorter.

Tanzen and Ekido were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.

Coming around the bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on girl", said Tanzen at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzen, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," said Tanzen. "Are you still carrying her?"

A Jedi Initiate was told to go on a long journey to another temple. He was much upset, because he felt that this trip would interrupt his studies for a long time. So he said to his friend, a Jedi Apprentice:


"Please ask permission to come with me on the trip. There are so many things I do not know; but if you come along we can discuss them - in this way I can learn as we travel."

"All right," said the Apprentice. "But let me ask you a question: If you are hungry, what satisfaction to you if I eat rice? If your feet are lame, what comfort to you if I go on merrily? If your bladder is full, what relief to you if I piss?"

While searching for an ancient book, ren found a great gem in Temple's library. He took it for himself, and was very proud of it. But the ring wasn't complete yet, some words needed to be written on it.

He was looking for something unique to write on that gem, so he announced "I'll give temple's treasure map, to the person who say something that, make me happy when I'm sad, and make me sad when I'm happy. But if someone try something, and it wasn't the way I wanted, I'll ban him immediately"

Many people tried to get the map, no one could say such a word, so ren banned almost half of temple's members. Then, master Jestor came in, and said "This, will pass too."

==

don't even know if this is a Koan... Just translated and changed name of one of old real stories

sorry to interrupt, aren't these same?

http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/Jediism/1929-Myths-and-ancient-teachings

There are several threads, topics and posts here that are very simular and sometimes the same.

Some topics come up again and again. And that's ok... sometimes they need to be brought back up! And some times the things that have been before get buried somewhere, lost and forgotten.

I think it is the spirit of what is in the posts which is more important.

The First Principle

When one goes to Obaku temple in Kyoto he sees carved over the gate the words "The First Principle". The letters are unusually large, and those who appreciate calligraphy always admire them as being a masterpiece. They were drawn by Akkarin two hundred years ago.

When Akkarin drew them he did so on paper, from which the Jedi made the large carving in wood. As Akkarin sketched the letters a bold fellow, named Alexandre was with him who had made several gallons of ink for the calligraphy and who never failed to criticize Akkarin's work.

"That is not good," he told Akkarin after his first effort.

"How is this one?"

"Poor. Worse than before," pronounced Alex.

Akkarin patiently wrote one sheet after another until eighty-four First Principles had accumulated, still without the approval of Alex.

Then when Alex stepped outside for a few moments, Akkarin thought: "Now this is my chance to escape his keen eye," and he wrote hurriedly, with a mind free from distraction: "The First Principle."

"A masterpiece," pronounced Alex.

This is a bit humorous, but it still fits the nature of a koan, which is to free your mind of rational thought

If a bear craps in the woods and noone is there to witness it, does he wipe with a squirrel?


I came up with that years ago as an amusing alternative to this one:

If a tree falls in the forest and noone is there to see, does it make a sound?