Stories, tales and items of amusement

THE ARRIVAL

On a visit to the East Coast, Suzuki Roshi arrived at the meeting place of the Cambridge Buddhist Society to find everyone scrubbing down the interior in anticipation of his visit.

They were surprised to see him, because he had written that he would arrive on the following day.

He tied back the sleeves of his robe and insisted on joining the preparations \"for the grand day of my arrival.\"

Taken from \"To Shine One Corner of the World: Moments with Shunryu Suzuki: Stories of a Zen Teacher Told by His Students\"

Two Zen monks were walking down the road.

First monk says: \"These pine trees are magnificent.\"

The second monk slaps him across the face.

First monk: \"Why did you do that?\"

\"I'm a Zen monk so I can get away with all kinds of weird stuff like that.\"

THE TAIL

There is a story about a princess who had a small eye problem that she felt was really bad. Being the king's daughter, she was rather spoiled and kept crying all the time. When the doctors wanted to apply medicine, she would invariably refuse any medical treatment and kept touching the sore spot on her eye. In this way it became worse and worse, until finally the king proclaimed a large reward for whoever could cure his daughter. After some time, a man arrived who claimed to be a famous physician, but actually was not even a doctor.

He declared that he could definitely cure the princess and was admitted to her chamber. After he had examined her, he exclaimed, \"Oh, I'm so sorry!\" \"What is it?\" the princess inquired. The doctor said, \"There is nothing much wrong with your eye, but there is something else that is really serious.\" The princess was alarmed and asked, \"What on earth is so serious?\" He hesitated and said, \"It is really bad. I shouldn't tell you about it.\" No matter how much she insisted, he refused to tell her, saying that he could not speak without the king's permission.

When the king arrived, the doctor was still reluctant to reveal his findings. Finally the king commanded, \"Tell us what is wrong. Whatever it is, you have to tell us!\" At last the doctor said, \"Well, the eye will get better within a few days - that is no problem. The big problem is that the princess will grow a tail, which will become at least nine fathoms long. It may start growing very soon. If she can detect the first moment it appears, I might be able to prevent it from growing.\" At this news everyone was deeply concerned. And the princess, what did she do? She stayed in bed, day and night, directing all her attention to detecting when the tail might appear. Thus, after a few days, her eye got well.

This shows how we usually react. We focus on our little problems and it becomes the center around which everything else revolves. We think, \"My wishes, my interests, my likes and dislikes come first!\"
As long as we function on this basis, we will remain unchanged. Driven by impulses of desire and rejection, we will travel the roads of samsara without finding a way out.

As long as attachment and aversion are our sources of living and drive us onward, we cannot rest.

THE OTHER SIDE

One day a young Buddhist on his journey home, came to the banks of a wide river. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him, he pondered for hours on just how to cross such a wide barrier.

Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young Buddhist yells over to the teacher, \"Oh wise one, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river\"?

The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back, \"My son, you are on the other side\".

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

A friend was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean. As my friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had washed up on the beach, and, one at a time, he was throwing them back into the water. My friend was puzzled.

He approached the man and said. \"Good evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing.\"

\"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all of these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen.\"

\"I understand,\" my friend replied, \"but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?\"

The local native smiled, bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied, \"Made a difference to that one!\"

THE BURDEN
Two monks were returning to the monastery in the evening. It had rained and there were puddles of water on the road sides. At one place a beautiful young woman was standing unable to walk accross because of a puddle of water. The elder of the two monks went up to a her lifted her in his alms and left her on the other side of the road, and continued his way to the monastery.
In the evening the younger monk came to the elder monk and said, \"Sir, as monks, we cannot touch a woman ?\"
The elder monk answered \"yes, brother\".
Then the younger monk asks again, \" but then Sir, how is that you lifted that woman on the roadside ?\"
The elder monk smiled at him and told him \" I left her on the other side of the road, but you are still carrying her \"

FINDING A PIECE OF THE TRUTH
One day Mara, the Evil One, was travelling through the villages of India with his attendants. he saw a man doing walking meditation whose face was lit up on wonder. The man had just discovered something on the ground in front of him.
Mara's attendant asked what that was and Mara replied, \"A piece of truth.\" \"Doesn't this bother you when someone finds a piece of truth, O Evil One?\" his attendant asked. \"No,\" Mara replied. \"Right after this, they usually make a belief out of it.\"

YOU SPIT, I BOW

The morning after Philip Kapleau and Professor Phillips arrived at Ryutakuji Monastery they were given a tour of the place by Abbot Soen Nakagawa.

Both Americans had been heavily influenced by tales of ancient Chinese masters who'd destroyed sacred texts, and even images of the Buddha, in order to free themselves from attachment to anything.

They were thus surprised and disturbed to find themselves being led into a ceremonial hall, where the Roshi invited them to pay respects to a statue of the temple's founder, Hakuin Zenji, by bowing and offering incense.

On seeing Nakagawa bow before the image, Phillips couldn't contain himself, and burst out: \"The old Chinese masters burned or spit on Buddha statues! Why do you bow down before them?\"

\"If you want to spit, you spit,\" replied the Roshi. \"I prefer to bow.\"

Grant me the stubbornness to change what I can, the laziness to accept what I cannot, and enough beer to sit around and endlessly discuss the difference between the two.

~Dick Dunn

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

~ Steve Bluestone