Points of view

The other side

One day a young Buddhist on his journey home, came to the banks of a wide river. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him , he pondered for hours on just how to cross such a wide barrier. Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young Buddhist yells over to the teacher \"Oh wise one , can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river\"?
The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back \"My son, you are on the other side\" .

Interesting... I have just experienced something that could relate to this topic, so I wanna share it with you. You know, I have realised three days ago that my colleague Eva, whom I really trusted and laid my hopes to her, is ripping up my back all over tthe showbizz - I work as a journalist, you know. Nice to know that. I have learned it accidentally, when i received SMS from her that she originally sent to her new lover. She wrote there that she MUST attend a VIP party again and also said that she quarrelled with my bos \"and with that MORON COW\". That's what I should have been When i called her back, she didn't respoond, then sent me a message that she has no signal in the tube and that she is sorry for that thing because the SMS did not belong to me.

I was shock by her lack of conscience, you know, I thought she was almost my friend. I searched into my conscience and there was not anything bad that I could have done to her. My colleagues say the same, that it is not my fault, that she became lazy and that she's slowly started to get on their nerves. I read a book about dealing with my anger and dealing with people who hurt you to become more asertive and to be at the top of things. So I came to work today, where Eva was waiting, and I said that we need to discuss something.

And now we're getting to the point: She said that she already apologized tzo me and that there's nothing she ought to be sorry for, and that its none of her bussiness anymore. The end. I stared at her: \"Ok, I just wanted to be polite to you. So here it is: you just gonna be colleague, not my friend anymore.\" And what she said about it? She said sth in the meaning that I wasn't nothing more for her anyway. So i ened with her.

Her point of view is that she hasn't done anything, at least she saay so. but she isn't able to look in my eyes anymore. Remorses? None. Just a shame that she was discovered. My point of view is that she betrayed me. I was patient and polite enough to not quarrel with her - I tried it and it had no meaning. So I ended with her, she is not my friend anymore. My conscience is clear. But it still hurts. I gave myself a condition that I must forgive to her as a person to be alble to live with her and be in peace. But I will never forgive what she did to me. I think I did the right thing about it, I won't crawl in anobody's ass.

This just proves that, even though you think the situation looks grim or bleak, that there is always a other side or a different point of view.

Well, I am going to get personal for a bit. (Just a warning to readers).

Many of my friends do not understand my willingness to hear the other side of an argument or trifle; however I find that to fully understand a situation one must look at things from all angles, get all the sides of the story complete.

Say there is a fight, and one falsely accuses the other of something. You, cannot just take sides on who you think is telling the truth because you cannot not see all the angles of the situation...maybe the one who committed the act, had to commit it for some reason or another...

Who knows, this is just what I do. I try to see things from all angles.

-kb

As they say of a coin, there are two sides to every coin.

Relationships are strewn with perils and one must be careful at ever point, especially your own where ones own emotions play tricks.

Other peoples relationships are also tricky, especially when your in the middle of two friends arguing etc...

As you say, its best to get all angles in view, even if others get angry for your deemed reluctance or dithering, one must do what one feels most comfortable with.

I like the river bank story, its kinda funny in a way... there is another that is similar where the whole river is in fact only a foot or two deep all the way across