towerjedi's intro

hi, my name is Dan

first, i have never followed any religion. the closest i've gotten is a 12 step program. they told me to fake it till i make it. 2 yrs. later, (2 yr. chip) i walked away having learned alot but still wanting to control my life.
right now, i am defeated... hungry, angry, lonely, tired, fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional... full of anxiety about my future and the direction of the world.
dont get me wrong. i'm not suicidal. i am a strong person. i am a professional athlete. but i'm not a ball player , and i'm not on t.v., in fact, nobody even knows i'm there. i am a prof. climber. a broadcast crew chief. most of my life is spent above 1000 ft. alone.

i heard about this site a couple of years ago and signed up but did nothing. i have recently become single(straight) after 9 yrs. and i'm a hollow shell of a man. walking(and climbing) around holding up this schroud so no one can see inside.
i turned 42 on 1/24. alone. i feel like someone opened up my book and tore the first half of it away. leaving me open and blank.
the dissolution of my relationship began when a chemical imbalance started to affect me in a neg. way and all my decisions were based on fight/flight response. now with the help of a nutritionist. i have begun to rebuild my life. alone.
i may not be religious but i do believe in my self and mankind in general

Tower, welcome to TOTJO....

The majority of us here find faith in ourselves, and knowing that WE have to be strong for ourselves...

Whether God, Allah, the Force, Karma or what ever you choose to call it, we are all interconnected, and I think that is what so many are missing and do not understand....

And we are going to screw up... As long as we are seriously trying our best, what more can be ask of us? Ya know?

Life is mysterious.... Have a look at the Initiate's Training Program located here.... it is quite the journey through your beliefs and how and why a person thinks they way they do... One interpretation, anyhow... Or click the \"==Training=" tab in the left column...

If you have any questions, please use the Chat, the Shout Box, or read through the forums, most questions have been ask.... You and I have already used the PM system back and forth, so feel free to PM me again, or any of the Knights or Masters....

I wish you the best of luck, in finding that which you are seeking....