A few days ago I was speaking with a friend and he was telling me a story that happened recently in his life. The story goes… “I was driving with a buddy and he asked me what was up. Said I seemed as if something was on my mind. I told him that I was worrying about the projects I had going on at the house and getting them done. And he added, “Worry never solved anything.” For some reason this bothered me because I was spending my time thinking about what needed to get done and when I was going to do it. I was trying to figure out how I was going to do everything. Like planning I guess.”
As soon as he got the chance my friend looked up the word worry and its origins. And he didn’t have to look long before he realized why what his friend said bothered him.
Worry, to give way to anxiety or unease; allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. (Of a dog or other carnivorous animal) to tear at, gnaw on, or drag around with the teeth. A state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems.
From Old English wyrgan ‘strangle.’ In Middle English the original sense of the verb gave rise to the meaning ‘seize by the throat and tear,’ later figuratively ‘harass,’ whence ‘cause anxiety to’ (early 19th century, the date also of the noun).
This brought about some contemplation as he analyzed the situation, what his friend said and how these definitions could be used to interpret it all. What we will focus on is his conclusion and how he came about it. And we will use the simplified version. The original sense of the verb gave rise to the meaning ‘seize by the throat and tear’ and it evolved from there. As a dog eats; because they only have canines and no incisors (types of teeth used in eating) a dog tears at the meat and gnaws on a piece sometimes dragging it around till the piece comes off. Sounds gruesome for sure. But that is how carnivores have to do it. Neck muscle tends to be particularly tough and this can really show what is happening when a dog tries to eat it. Biting in, the dog worries the piece he wants till it comes loose and he gets to eat it. Eating the meat is the step to the ultimate goal. Which for the dog is filling his belly with food. The dog worries his way to a full belly.
Life is also like this. There are things we want or need to accomplish. As we face and tackle each of these things we have obstacles to overcome. And like a dog, we worry our way to the end result. Biting, gnawing and tearing away at the problem piece by piece until we have filled our own bellies, or at least passed that particular obstacle. The act of worrying is good in a sense. It is us working away or planning to overcome said obstacle.
Even I have fallen victim to the mentality that worry s bad. And to combat this I have made a conscience effort to say that I am thinking about a problem and not worrying about it. But it would seem that there is a personal level added when one worries that thinking tends to leave out. And it would almost be arrogance to suggest that issues we face in life have little to no effect on us on a personal level. Like admitting that you have an issue is the first step in solving the issue. So it is good to worry about problems so long as your efforts don’t stop with worry.
But, and there is always a but… when you are worried about a problem. Then it is easy to see how the other meanings of the word come into play. To give way to anxiety or unease; allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. A state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems. At this point, we are no longer the dog trying to fill his belly. We are the meal being worried on. The problem slowly biting away at us, gnawing and tearing away at our lives, spirit and our worlds until we are devoured by it. I have seen examples of this first hand. My mother lives in a constant state of worry and almost fear. But never looks to resolve those concerns or tackle them or even make a plan to overcome them. Just worried that something will happen and then react in almost a panic to each event as it happens. And the reaction is almost always overly dramatic. This, of course, is an extreme example of a person that has lived this way for a long time. And not indicative of everyone else. But I’m sure that most of us know someone like that in our lives.
So when an obstacle presents itself, are you the dog worrying away a meal? Or are you the meal, slowly being worried away?
And how do we stay on the right side of the teeth? For me, it is a multipart answer. I try to always look at issues as just that, an issue. Life did not throw this at me because it hates me or the world is unfair and want to bring me down. God doesn’t hate me, the Force isn’t testing me, and it’s just life. Sometimes shit happens and each of us will have to deal with it as it does happen. In short, I try to remember that it is not personal. Then I look at it for what it is, an obstacle to be overcome. Invest yourself in the effort… research, talk to people about it. Get other inputs. There are a lot of people out there and believe it or not some of them may have ran into this particular problem before. They may not have the solution but I bet you will hear at least a way they know will not work at all. And knowing what doesn’t work will help you from not going down that same path. Remember, experience is a cruel teacher. First she gives the exam and then you have to learn the lesson from it. You are not the only one on the earth; learn from other people’s experience if you can. And finally, I worry my way through the problem. One bite at a time.
Let’s be the ones working our way to a full belly and enjoying what life has to offer.
May the Force be with each of you in all of your endeavors.
