Physician Heal Thy Self
The world is full of all manner of suffering. Life of most humans is replete with suffering. They can be minor or major. They can be outside factors or inside factors. However if we truly look into the matter we can find that many if not most of our earthly sufferings are caused by our own mindset or mental filters. If we are honest with ourselves most of our complaints and miladies in our life can be pointed right back at ourselves.
When we are upset with another person we must ask if we are truly mad at the persons actions or if we are allowing something not intended to cause insult or upset to upset us. For example if like myself you are a someone that experienced domestic violence should you be upset if someone triggers a painful memory in you or should you realize that truly the issue is not with the persons actions or words but with your own mental state at the time? The truth is no matter how painful the memory was this person is not the cause of it, they did not intend to bring it to mind, and the issue is not in the words or actions themselves but in the mindset of yourself. So we cannot blame the person but must take responsibility ourselves and master our mindset and emotions.
We can look at other examples such as I have a true issue with people being late or derailing my plans. This is honestly something that the military has drilled into me. So being late, have others be late, or having plans derailed is something that really gets under my skin. However that is not an issue with others. Most people do not have that level of punctuality drilled into them so for me to expect others to conform to MY expectations and then getting upset when they do not is my issue not theirs. Is it polite to be on time? Sure it is, but to be exactly on time or five minutes early as I am is not fair to impose on others as peoples lives and mentalities differ. So I can allow myself to get upset by the actions of others not intended to be insulting or hurtful.
What is the cause of this hurt or anger? In my opinion its want or desire that we impose upon others. This in fact one of the four noble truths of Buddhism. That want is a main cause of suffering. We want to be needed, we want to be accepted, we want things to fit our current state on the path of life. But does it make sense to try to bend others or the world itself to our own limited view? Is it not better to improve ourselves and adjust our own outlook to fit with the natural order of things? Does that mean our views and feelings are not valid? Of course not. It just means that they are OUR burdens and thoughts and we cannot expect others to change because of them unless they too find value in those things.
A good example of this is if a teaching method bothers you but works for the bulk of people should the method be changed or should you figure out a method to learn the information that does work for you and maybe share it so that others like yourself can benefit from it? Clearly others have no reason to do the work as they have no issue with the state of things as they are. So it is upon you to fix the issue. If a small group of people hold an issue in common then they can create a solution and allow others to benefit from the work while adding to the whole without changing the way things operate for those that hold no issue with them.
So what can we take from this. That most things are a matter of our own view on a situation or our own limitations in life. We cannot expect others to bend to these things as a matter of course. Instead we should seek to improve upon ourselves and fix our own issues rather then expecting others to find the solution for us. Unless our own house is in order we cannot hope to order the houses of others. If our own cup is empty we cannot fill others. We must be responsible for our own healing and our own path. If others wish to help us or if our works help others so much the better. But we cannot ask others to share in our realities because they do not fit with the realities that others find useful. To quote a common phrase get in where you fit it. If we do not fit in with an established method then we should create our own but not expect the method that works for others to change.
Now how does this apply to Jedi in particular? Well we should seek not so much to be understood but to understand. So rather then demand others understand our needs or our methods we should seek to understand why things are as they are or why others find value in the established process. If we all do this we would understand that others all walk their own paths that sometimes connect but will diverge at points. So walk with others as our paths connect but be not angry when the paths split. Simply know that they will meet again and you both will be stronger for it. Do not be afraid to break out the mental machete and cut your own path. As lonely as that may be take solace in the fact that others will one day thank us for doing the trail blazing for them making their own journey easier.
We as Jedi are to be wary of attachment to our established methods of thinking and viewing the world. That despite discomfort we should not fear change or challenge to these things. I myself have had to change my natural stressed out nature as I walked this path and I am better for it. Its not easy and its not fun but when cleaning out an infection one must expect to bleed a little before you heal. So we must sometimes give up things we hold dear or feel some level of discomfort as we grow and challenge out own outlook on life.
As Jedi we are supposed to mind our thoughts and be patient as we recognize that all humans including ourselves are flawed. So rather then get upset with others when the flaws of our own spirit our their nature cause us discomfort we should be patient, mind our thoughts and realize that being upset only harms ourselves and the relationships we have with others. I am not saying we should never be upset, just that we should whenever possible take a moment to center ourselves and see if our own view is the issue and if not then make the attempt to pardon the flaws of another human who may not be as far along the path as ourselves.
Finally as Jedi we are guardians of the peace. If we do not hold peace within ourselves can we truly expect to have peace with others? To find the balance in the course of a group we must all first find the balance within ourselves. We must set aside emotions to the extent possible and attempt to find the middle way that best serves the most people and then create that which works for ourselves for the gaps in the path. If others find it works for them to then we have added a tool to the toolbox of the group but didn’t take anything from it. In short before we demand solutions from without we should see if the issue is coming from within. Jedi heal thy self.
