Non-attachement … OR ELSE !!!
This isn't going to be the most up-lifting, optimistic sermon the Temple has heard all year, in truth, it may even be the bleakest. This is not to make anyone feel good, sooth spirits or ease tensions. In fact, one may come away from this with a need for some consolation …
On the other hand, this is not delivered in the aim of inflicting any spiritual torture either : it is indeed aimed at helping us get out of a particularly deep rut we find ourselves in, one in which we feel that the skills that we, as Jedi, practice are going to keep us happy and serene all of the time. Then we get a big surprise …
“Remember, your focus determines your reality.” ~ Qui-Gon Jinn
Well, yes … it does. Yet, the focus this refers to is that we may prudently place on “what is”, not on “how we want things to be.” I'm sorry if it is anyone's favourite book, but “The Secret” has to be one of the most deceptive pieces of rubbish printed in the last fifty years … And it is also a travesty of amoral cruelty to insinuate that people deserve the happen-stance misfortunes which befall them because they were sending out 'disaster' vibrations to the Universe. It is, naturally, quite good be able to look on the 'bright side' of things ; it is simply insane to make up a 'bright side' to look at.
Over the past couple of decades, we have seen a massive manipulation of the concept of positive thinking – which is not positive thinking at all (looking on the bright side) as much as it is sweeping dirt under the carpet just before the company arrives. Now, realise, this is not the same as letting irrational fears take over – this isn't about the positive reinforcement that one might give to oneself to get over the fear of public speaking, for instance … What we're on about here is that quasi-mandatory, “let it go”, 'stinky' Zen attitude that we shouldn't think that anything ever sucks. Let's just be honest : some things suck.
The Game of Black and White – transformed into the Game of Black vs. White (and subsequently “White MUST Win”) – has taken on, in several sectors, as “you have to make White win too ! Don't let on like you aren't liking something ! Don't look on (having a disease/getting fired from a job/a romantic disaster &c) as a bad thing ! Think positively ! This is making you a better person !”
(… and of course, if you don't pretend to be all zen and cheerful, we won't have anything to do with you.)
Well, it might, eventually … but we are human beings who have feelings and those feelings are not always happy ones. Forcing oneself to smile and pretend that everything is just fine is not particularly helpful. Some things indeed do just suck. And we need to be able to let them suck, without necessarily trying to do something about the cause (or perceived cause) of them or trying to make some sense out of it. Naturally, we wouldn't want to be mean or impolite to other people because we ourselves are having a ghastly experience, but we mustn't add to the complications by trying to have a more positive out-look than we can.
“Your focus determines your reality.” But only if we focus on what is real. The Universe may indeed be bountiful, but it is neither a faery godmother nor a begrudging task master, willing to grant ones wishes or whipping us into shape by toils toward making us 'tougher'. It is just “what is”, and part of that “what is-ness” is pretty unpleasant for us. Our responses to them would be better to reflect that :
Feelings aren't facts … what we feel isn't necessarily the truth about things.
Feelings aren't 'reasonable' … we cannot “will” ourselves to like something that is painful to us.
Some experiences do indeed suck … only a masochist would be “happy” to go through them.
One gets through and beyond hurt and loss better and sooner by acknowledging the hurt and loss than by denying it.
Joy and Sorrow, Love and Fear, Fortune and Misfortune, Health and Infirmity … all of these are mutually arising, we would not know one but in relation to the other. Just as at the darkest moment of the Night begins the ascent of the Dawn, it would still be irrational to try to read by that little Light. We must let it be dark when it is …
