Being asked to write a sermon is a wonderful vote of confidence, but one that for me brought up the sensation of being an imposter.
Sermon writing suggests having some kind of wisdom or insight to share, something that I suppose should be expected of a Knight, or anyone holding some kind of rank, and while considering what to write about I realized that in a way, we are all imposters when we attempt to share what we know from a position of rank.
When I joined TOTJO I knew everything. I really did. I was so sure of my experiences and achievements, that I wondered honestly what TOTJO could possibly teach me. Arrogant, yes. But also incredibly naive.
When I look at the achievements and "rank" that I have in life, its easy to see why I felt that way. And I often feel the same way now when people come to TOTJO brandishing the ranks they hold elsewhere, or the abilities in the force they claim to have. Even within TOTJO, though the topic of the relevance of rank comes up often, I feel we still have that element of naivety.
I heard wonderful song lyrics today that said "All this time I was finding myself. And I didn't know I was lost"
In life, we have no idea how lost we are. No matter how experienced, qualified or ranked we are, we have absolutely no idea how much more there is that we do not know.
And even though we are deliberately on the path to discover ourselves and our universal relevance, or irrelevance, we will still never know how much we dont know.
The more I learn, both at TOTJO and elsewhere, the more I realize just how little I know.
If I claim to have wisdom or insight beyond others because of my rank, then I am an imposter. All I have is a few more experiences in a particular area. Nothing more. Perhaps the greatest thing that I have learned at TOTJO is a sense of my own ignorance. Reluctantly accepted I can assure you, as my ego has a lot to say about it, but at the end of the day, holding onto the achievements or leanings that Ive already mastered, prevents me from exploring and learning more.
Emptying the cup so to speak.
So whether you're new to the path, or hold knighthoods at every single community, its actually irrelevant. Let go of what you have become, and focus on who you could become.
