Master Kana's Book Of Proverbs

OK - bit of fun - but some of the 'funniest' sayings are often the most accurate - so I'll satrt the ball rolling and feel free to add (i need this as im running out of wise cracks )

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of curry. What you do today, might burn your backside tomorrow.

25. And remember...while you are indeed the oldest you have ever been, you are also the youngest you will ever be........it's all running out pretty fast, make the most of what's left.

I have #14 as one of the bumper stickers on my car!
As well as another that would fit here: \"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that stood its ground.\"

I'll also add one of my personal faves: \"No matter where you go, there you are.\"

*bows*

I enjoyed those.
\"If aliens are smart enough to travel the galaxies in a spacecraft,why do they abduct the dumbest people on earth\"
and
\"somedays all I want to be is a missing person\"

Those who live in glass houses should remember to sleep clothed.

change is good, changing your clothes is better, changing your underwear is great

Number 7 stood out to me. Very true.

The best one is the last one. Amazingly true.

If moisturisers prevent wrinkles - why do I wrinkle when im in the bath

A few of my personal favorites:

-Hindsight is 20/20....
-He who eat crackers in bed, get crummy sleep.....
-Why is there enough religion to encite war, but not enough to instill tolerance....
-The \"Majority\" can also mean all the fools are on the same side...
-The more one sweats in practice, the less one bleeds in battle...

#23 is also one I use on occasion...

and my tag line...

-The jester laughs, cause the world is full of fools...

The Devils greatest achievement is getting everyone to believe he doesn't exist

here's an old one : idle hands are the devil's playground