No reason for it

So, scenario: Everything is fine. Your life is acceptable, you have plenty to be thankful for, no triggers what so ever.

Then, you get really sad. Despondent. Unattached and difficult to concentrate. Little things make you want to cry.

No reason for it comes up in your mind. There was no triggering event.

Then someone asks you why your sad and all you can say is " I don't know. Maybe it is chemical." and then they say "Yeah, but what happened?"

And the sadness has no reason and your left with nothing to say. So you make a joke and smile and they aren't worried anymore. But your still sad.

Does anyone here go through that?

Yes. Recently, actually. Just the last 6 months or so I'd say. The only person I've talked to about it is my wife, and apparently I chose to do so just days before she planned to ask me about it. I actually wrote about it in my journal recently.

Mine isn't as much sadness as it is apathy. I just want to sit there and do nothing. Even cooking feels like too much effort. It does come with weird waves of sadness though.

My PM box is always open if you want to talk about it. It's a cliche but talking about helps.

rugadd wrote: And the sadness has no reason and your left with nothing to say. So you make a joke and smile and they aren't worried anymore. But your still sad.

Does anyone here go through that?

Yes; I've dealt with it for much of my life. This "no reason for it" feeling is actually common for the majority of people dealing with severe or chronic types of depression, and part of what makes it so difficult to discuss with others. People often want to find a reason for it to be able to "fix" it or help you "get over" it. But depression is a very complicated experience - it can be inherently chemical/neurological, it can be caused by environmental factors (in summer or winter), it can be a nutritional imbalance, it can be related to not being able to shut out the despair of others, exhaustion, and more. It can be something that passes just as inexplicably as it came on, it may need therapy or medical intervention, or it may be something that becomes part of how you experience life. What's important is that one stays aware of it as a condition that can interfere with how you perceive the world and affect your judgment, and that you do seek out qualified people (professionals, clergy, friends who understand) who can help you separate the feelings from your decision making processes. When you understand it as something that doesn't need a specific "cause", then it's easier to develop the appropriate coping skills and interventions that may be needed.

For me, I've chosen to engage my chronic depression as part of the empathic connection that fuels my dedication to my work and spiritual development. I choose not to shut out the fact that the world is filled with suffering and that my life is implicated in it. The "voice" that it puts in my head is an adversarial teacher, and I have to train and keep up the "guard" that I have developed to continue to have a productive experience with it. And tomorrow, I might decide that it's time to put the energy this takes elsewhere and deal with it through medication...I believe that it's important to simply face it as a condition with many options for dealing with it, and not allow the fear or shame of it to become an additional burden.

All this to say that I definitely understand, and am also here if you should need anyone to talk to about it in PM.

I used to believe that i went through that but when i started keeping a thought record i realized that my sadness always came after thinking of how i was not measuring up in some way or how i was failing in some way or some expectation that i was holding on to that my future was destined to be bleak because im fundamentally incapable of making it any better. Hell it makes me sad right now to think of it and type it, lol. That was me and im not saying my experience is definitely your experience, but i am confident that the tools that helped me can be useful for you as well.

Learn about CBT and apply the exercises to your life.

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/cbt-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques-worksheets/

Id start there. If you dont feel any better after three months of WORKING the exercises then go a doctor and get on meds. If its entirely chemical theres an excellent chance the meds will help. If its partly chemical and partly cognitive then the two together should make a huge difference.

I could write an essay on depression, beginning with my own experience and then moving into different therapeutic explanations and tools but i dont think anyone wants to read any essays from me right now and i dont have time even if they did. All i will say is that its a beast but its a beast that can be tamed. What one man can do another can do. You can too. If you can honestly believe that theres at least a possibility of a possibility then there really is one. I believe in you.

rugadd wrote: So, scenario: Everything is fine. Your life is acceptable, you have plenty to be thankful for, no triggers what so ever.

Then, you get really sad. Despondent. Unattached and difficult to concentrate. Little things make you want to cry.

No reason for it comes up in your mind. There was no triggering event.

Then someone asks you why your sad and all you can say is " I don't know. Maybe it is chemical." and then they say "Yeah, but what happened?"

And the sadness has no reason and your left with nothing to say. So you make a joke and smile and they aren't worried anymore. But your still sad.

Does anyone here go through that?

Adam, are you still doing daily practices towards discipline?

I've fought with depression for years, have come to understand it when it rears it's ugly head and have become pretty apt at dealing with it in the process. I won't chew about it here.

People are bound to disagree, get offended, chew my words to no end, and I work 10 hrs a day so,.... My inbox is always open, as well as messenger, hit me up buddy when the mood hits....

Yup. For me it's a deep dark heavy feeling. Like my heart was removed and "evil" put in its place. I stop giving a shit, I'm tired. Anger to boil things but too much apathy to do anything. Little things get me very irritated.

I've been told that there are triggers, but to be honest, I'm still looking for them. The only thing I can see is when I feel overwhelmed. But there's thigns that build up to feeling overwhelmed and sometimes there's not. And other times there's nothing I can figure that triggered it. Sometimes there's signs, like some obsessive feelings or a massive drive to go shoping, no matter what the bank account looks like.

I tend to lock myself away. I don't have the energy to smile. At work "how are you?" turns into as much of a smile as I can fake and "good" in reply. I hermit because I feel that my friends have had enough of my problems, especially when they have their own to deal with.

You're not alone hun. And if you ever need to chat, send me a PM. As Goken said, talking does help. As counter-intuitive as it feels.

Edit: there's a lot of other techniques that can also help in addition to talking. Let us know if you're interested in us sharing some of those

If you're using terms like fine and acceptable to describe your life, that in itself is a little depressing. I get the feeling that you're not getting everything you want out of life. Sometimes being content and grateful for what you have isn't enough. It's not necessarily about something you don't have. It could be something you want to have or feel unfulfilled by things only being fine and not better.

As a programmer it's extremely hard for me to accept that there is no reason for something. We may not always know what the reason is. I've had (too) many disagreements where hormone levels played a significant part. Different factors can create the environment in which our psyche is constantly adapting to. Hell, to be honest, I feel a little bit down just from the news of my country separating children from their parents. There are a lot of things in this world that affect us without us really dwelling on them. Sometimes we react to subconscious irritants. And if it's more than just one thing it can be hard to consciously assign how you're feeling to a definite cause.

It's a funny thing in a way, it seems by its action to cling to individualism such that all things seem irrelevant to it, even solutions, and so it might exist that way because it has no causative correlate perhaps, intrinsically without identity or reference. It's real hard to comprehend something which has no identity or relationships or even 'place' other then 'me' beyond its superficial manifestation in awareness.... so people could give a hundred different approaches and none work, but yet the feelings felt by all could be quite similar perhaps.

For example, I am contemplating lately that there might be some credence to the idea that we inherently have a problem solving capacity which needs to be working a problem of sufficient complexity, probably mostly subconsciously seated but accessible by environment and conscious thought. Such that, if you cannot find a problem that it might be the problem that you have no problem! Basically idle hands lead to the devils work, but in a psychological perspective, in this context of having no reason... but that could be blame shifting so its a work in progress, and might relate to other parts of psyche like goals and longer range expectations. So in that theory what happens is it focuses on itself and leaves one without any motivation to deal with anything else....

As obviously we all have problems, but if the association is not apparant between them and the onset of depression then it might be that they are either insufficient in quantity or quality to activate this or relate in unseen ways.

Also obviously there is always the likelihood of just not knowing what the problem is, and this can often by tied to physical functions which go unseen like some lower level but chronic immune-mediated inflammatory disease etc where the subconscious can try to 'tell' you something is wrong in the only way it can, by feelings but cannot point to where it is by its design limits - for many parts and systems of the body do not seem to have representation in the mapping of the physical body in the 'cortical homunculus' or at least not accessible to our conscious mind easily or at all.

From you description Adder, I would call that "sensation" Ennui rather than Depression.


For those who have not had (dun dun dunnnnn!) "The Depression", I would not be surprised if the general sookiness of ennui is falsely reported as something else.

JamesSand wrote: From you description Adder, I would call that "sensation" Ennui rather than Depression.


For those who have not had (dun dun dunnnnn!) "The Depression", I would not be surprised if the general sookiness of ennui is falsely reported as something else.

Could they be connected? As my point being the difference is the depressed state is the subconscious fixation on it, and given enough exposure eventual conscious identification as it. As I''m not trying to identify with the experience of it so much but rather explore its mechanism as cause or at least a target to work with it. For anyone who knows how it feels, already knows it... and sticking to its appearance could just feed its presence.